


Alone and Unsteady

by MatrixDream



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: ADHD, Add more tags as I think of them/ Story progresses, Anxiety, Anxiety/ Panic Attacks, Betrayal, Blurr has:, Bonding, Canon Compliant, Claustrophobia, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depersonalization, Depression, Derealization, Distrust, Falling In Love, Frame Dysphoria, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Intrusive Thoughts, Isolation, Lonliness, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Misunderstandings, Nightmares, PTSD, Shared Enemies, Size Difference, Slow Burn, Social Awkwardness, Speech Disorders, Suicidal Thoughts, Temporarily Disabled Character, Unable To Move, Waspinator/ Wasp has:, building, past suicide attempts, past trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2018-09-14 16:19:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 38,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9192260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MatrixDream/pseuds/MatrixDream
Summary: When the incinerator appears to be nonoperational, Cliffjumper decides to toss garbage into space. That garbage is the formerly Autobot Agent known as Blurr who's been crushed into a cube. With his spark still online, he is forced to drift through space before going through a space bridge which lands him conveniently on a planet with a certain green techno-organic.





	1. The Mysterious Cube

**Author's Note:**

> I will post warnings for each chapter as I will be addressing a lot of mental health and past trauma problems. This fic is equally about the characters healing as it is the readers so, there will also be many tips/ coping methods accompanying each disorder. This is a self indulgent fic with two characters I ship more than I should and it became really sad. I do have some future smut as well but, I always tag those so readers can avoid/find them. 
> 
>  
> 
> Warnings: Non-consensual touching? and Temporarily Disabled Character
> 
>  
> 
> Beta-read by the always lovely Early Morning Massacre~

       Cliffjumper sighed noisily when he noticed the sign over the incinerator. Apparently it was out of order, which meant he was failing Longarm Prime if he didn't get rid of this 'sensitive material'. Opening the chute door and retrieving the cube with a sigh, he contemplated how to get rid of it quickly and effectively. He began walking, trying to brainstorm a solution. Destroying it himself seemed a bit drastic, and he wasn't sure he could even if he tried. Selling it also wasn't an option since that didn't quite qualify as disposing of it (At least not the type Longarm clearly wanted) and he didn't exactly know what it was anyways. He could always throw it in a generic trash compactor or the Sea of Rust if he really wanted to be thorough. Though he didn't really want to leave the building's premise.

       His steps slowed as he passed by a poster warning against the dangers of Space Bridges. Snapping his digits enthusiastically, getting an idea, he quickly made his way to the closest Space Bridge which was luckily in the same building as him. He approached the door in no time, being allowed in without a second glance. The lack of security was both relieving and a little disconcerting, though he shrugged it off. Instead welcoming the stroke of luck as he used the Space Bridge for unorthodox means. It was an order from a Prime, however, so he quickly suppressed the uncertainties digging at his spark as he turned it on and swiftly threw the cube through before shutting it back off. Nodding to himself, satisfied, before leaving without a second thought about the blue cube left to float aimlessly in the void of space.

 

* * *

 

       Waspinator stood in the opening of his cave as he looked outside. His optics squinted as sunlight greeted him. The organic planet he was stuck on was vastly different from Cybertron, but he certainly appreciated what this planet had to offer. Stepping out of his makeshift home to bask in the warmth from the glowing orb, he took in a deep breath; savouring the clean air before transforming and taking flight to begin his daily Energon scavenging.

       He'd actually gotten, dare he say lucky, transwarping to a random planet which was scattered with Energon crystals. Despite being unusable when raw, he'd managed to build an Energon converter using his old frame parts. It was a bit unsettling at first, but he had to make use of it somehow after using a blank protoform to reform himself. This planet also seemed to have a fair bit of those laying around as well. He'd found and kept a few other protoforms just in case, but they didn't see much use. Really, he could almost say he was happy here, it had plenty of resources and he even managed a mild tradesman ship with Blackarachnia who was equally as stuck on this planet. Though, she made herself scarce unless she had something he wanted or vice versa. Liquid Energon was the only use he had to the spider but, he didn't mind filling a quota as long as it kept her away from him. He'd already gotten what he needed from her and her companionship was not on the list. Yeah, he was still a little salty over the whole using him for experimenting ordeal, but she didn't care enough to hold it against him.

       Spotting a cluster of crystals, he hovered before lowering to collect them. He grabbed a few, moving to hold the raw fuel in his tertiary legs before taking off to continue his search. It was a boring task but one he'd endure through so long as the alternative was starvation. He did enjoy the flight though, and instantly perked up when he noticed a large group of crystals. Picking up speed, he eagerly began stuffing as much into his many legs as possible. Only pausing as he spotted something blue hidden between the magenta shards. Slowly pushing them aside, it was curious as he saw it's a cube, most likely garbage but this was still a strange place for it to land. He picked it up, turning it over in his servos as he inspected the clearly metallic material. It could be of some use. Looking between it and the Energon before shrugging and deciding he'd come back for the rest tomorrow, instead taking his loot and the cube back with him.

       Transforming with his arms full of resources, he entered his lair. In the center was a giant nest he'd built for himself to occupy the large space, he made his way towards it, placing the cube down on the soft padding before moving to the Energon converter. He placed the crystals down, stopping them from rolling away before removing the processed cubes from the refiner before filling it again. Stacking the cubes in a pile and quickly checking to make sure the converter was working. Once he confirmed it was, he returned to his nest, plopping down before picking up the blue block. He turned it over in his servos once again as he inspected it, trying to figure out what it was made out of and what he could use it for. Beginning to pick at pieces that seemed to be loose, whatever it was previously was practically unrecognizable after its obvious compression. Though the metal was ominously warm. He'd write it off as exposure to the sun, but where he'd found it wasn't exactly the warmest place.

       His faceplate scrunched up as an irritated buzzing resonated deep within his chassis as he became more frustrated. He managed to wedge a sliver out of the cube and behind the piece revealed to be a spark, obviously strained, but still very much alive. Just barely stopping himself from tossing the block across the room, he instead opted to put it on the ground, scooching back as fast and far away as possible. His own spark clenched and felt like it'd gone up into his throat, as he kept his arms close to his chest. His digits worked against each other in frantic motions as he released a nervous chittering sound, unsure of what to do with this unexpected situation. On one servo, he'd feel bad for leaving somebot who was online in such a state, but on the other servo, he had no obligation to help someone he didn't know and most likely would not like.

       Hesitantly reaching out, he lifted the cube once again and slowly brought it back towards himself. The colour was unfamiliar to him, which meant it wasn't anyone he knew personally, that didn't mean they couldn't be a threat to him. He could never be sure though, especially if he didn't do anything. Briefly, he glanced to the unused protoforms considerately. Really, how much harm could one bot bring? Worst comes to worst he doesn't like who it is and sends them off through the Space Bridge located uncomfortably close to the orbit around the planet. Easy fix. But, deep down he'd probably never forgive himself if he allowed the unknown spark to just extinguish. And, well, he was admittedly a little lonely.

       He stood up, cube held to his chest as he walked over to the protoforms. Grabbing one of two, he laid it down along with the block. Taking in a shaky in-vent, his servos clenching then releasing before slowly beginning to pry back the plating covering the spark. The task was far more taxing than he'd originally thought, but he managed to reveal the life force completely unharmed, for the most part, all things considered. He paused, awestruck over the feeling of the bright spark pulsing in his servos, before opening the blank's empty spark chamber and placing the spark inside.

       Beginning to back up as he watched the spark slowly merge with the protoform, the frame gradually formed. Silver turned to pale blue before darkening as appendages began to take shape. The frame started slimming and black soon joined the flurry of colours before a red symbol appeared on the bot's chassis.

       He fell back, instantly recognizing the Elite Guard symbol adorning the blue frame. He scrambled to stop the merge, unable to grasp the spark as it fully integrated into the chassis. Stopping, he realized it was too late and his life here was now over. Then the mech opened his optics and screamed.

       Waspinator jumped away, arms flailing as he tipped backward, releasing his own startled yelp. He quickly got his bearings and sat up, noticing the other mech had managed to press himself against the cave wall before shrieking again as he made contact with it and landing sprawled out on the floor as he lost any energy the new frame held after pushing off the wall. Neither mech moved, the latter being unable to as they stared each other down.

       Once he was sure the Elite Guardsmech couldn't advance on him, Waspinator spoke. "Who are you?"

       "I-wha-I-could-ask-you-the-same-thing,-organic."

       The green mech paused, surprise reaching his features as he realized this mech didn't know who he was and thus wouldn't arrest him, hopefully. "Techno-organic." He corrected, now fairly confident in conversing.         

       "Oh," Was the other mech's response. From what Waspinator could tell, the lone Elite Guard seemed to be a speedster and was obviously much smaller than himself. Concluding the former point was certainly true as the blue mech began talking again. "Are-you-part-Cybertronian,-then?"

       He paused, pondering whether the question was safe enough before inwardly shrugging and answering. "Yes."

       "What's-your-name? My-name-is-Blurr-and-I-apologize-for-my-rude-expression-of-appreciation-you-simply-startled-me. I-would-like-to-properly-thank-you-for-finding-and-saving-me."

       Waspinator blinked as he processed the onslaught of information and tried to think of an answer to avoid the question. "...Okay." Was the best he could muster.

       "I'll-repay-you-later, -but-I-really-must-be-going," 'Blurr' attempted to sit up but, he couldn't. Actually, he found he couldn't move much at all and that was certainly a worrying revelation. "I-can't-move." He admitted aloud, more so to himself.

       "Frame needs time. Must sync with spark," Waspinator mentioned helpfully, getting up and retrieving an Energon cube before offering it to the downed mech. "This help."

       "Time? I-don't-have-time. I-need-to-go-back-to-Cybertron-as-quickly-as-possible. I-must-warn-them!" The speedster struggled to get up again but, only managed to land face first onto the ground again. He huffed, realizing his helm was the only part he could currently move and thus rested his chin on the floor with an unamused look gracing his faceplate. Lips formed in a tight line, his optics glanced at the cube still being offered to him. "I-can't-move-so-I'm-not-sure-how-you'd-expect-me-to-refuel-when-I-can't-lift-my-arms-let-alone-grasp-a-cube." He regretted saying as such when he was suddenly being lifted. Feel the techno-organic's secondary servos holding his hips, while the main arms supported under his oxter joints.

       "Better?" Waspinator asked, seeming smugger than he should be as he once again offered the Energon.

       Blurr looked away, feeling flustered and undignified at the mere thought of needing to be hand fed. Which he did, but he was part of the Elite Guard for Primus sake, not some new spark. Still, he huffed again, glaring haughtily at the far wall and blushing as he allowed himself to be refueled. He didn't speak, not that he could at the moment, and decided he didn't have any more questions to ask for the time being. Instead silently hoping he'd regain the motor function in his appendages soon, really soon.

       Sighing with relief when the embarrassment was finally over and done with, he quickly noticed he still hadn't been put down and finally looked at the mech holding him. His systems gave a startled beep as he was forced to notice the massive size difference between them. If he was able to stand, he had no doubt he wouldn't reach much higher than the techno-organic's torso and chest. The height difference was surprising since said chest was bare of any symbol for either side. Perhaps the organic part was what caused it, but then again all organics he'd seen were tiny. As long as the other mech wasn't a Decepticon, he supposed it was fine. Not that he had much trust for any mech of either faction now anyways.

       "Thank you." He said slowly, making sure he was understood.

       Waspinator nodded, finally putting the blue mech down. "Blur-bot should recharge."

       Blurr wanted to disagree, he didn't want to, but his new frame seemed to already begin to comply, becoming heavy and tired after the mere utterance of the words. He refused to take his optics off of the other mech as he was laid down. Even as Waspinator turned his back and walked away to do his daily routine, whatever that was. But, all energy was finally sapped from the speedster and he warily succumbed to the exhaustion.


	2. The Mystery Mech

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blurr tries to move more and has many inquiries about his anonymous saviour. Waspinator reminisces about his unique ability to switch alt and bipedal modes, while he is alone. They then have a mild conversation before Blurr is told to recharge only to have a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Nightmares, derealization, depersonalization, body dysphoria, mentions of character death, temporary disability, mild PTSD flashback, breakdowns, anxiety, mentions of past torture, non-consensual touching, mild insomnia, loneliness.
> 
>  
> 
> Beta-read by the wonderfully lovely Early Morning Massacre!

       When Blurr onlined his optics, he was a little disoriented but thankfully his processor quickly caught his memory banks up. Lifting his helm, he began looking around the cave of the mystery mech. He sighed with relief both at the prospect of being alone and the realization that he could move more of his frame now. Not much, just everything above his shoulders. Though not having the techno-organic staring down at him as he'd suspected he'd wake up to, was a reassurance all in itself. He was also surprised to feel refreshed instead of some after effects of what he'd originally assumed may have been drugs in the Energon he was fed. It would seem his new frame was just exhausted after all then. 

       Even if the Energon was clean, he was still unsure of the bot's faction and whether the techno-organic was sided with anyone or not. Though the more Blurr thought about it, he was willing to admit it was doubtful the Autobots would work with anything outside of pure Cybertronian circuitry. Still, even if the green mech was a bit...Lacking in the social etiquette department, he still seemed far from a Decepticon. Then again, Blurr still had been betrayed by an Autobot he'd known a while, previously trusted, and would've even considered an ally if not for the painful truth that he was a Decepticon double agent. Which Cybertron still very much needed to be warned about, and it looked like the speedster would be needing the techno-organic's assistance with that too. Really, he couldn't expect more after already having his life saved by the stranger, as questionable as that decision was. It certainly put him in an interesting predicament, being stuck who knows where with an unknown mech whilst he is immobile. 

       From what he could see of the cave it gave no indication of what kind of mech he was stuck with. It was certainly a roomy place, much to post compact Blurr's relief, since the walls gave no horrifying illusion of closing in around him. Even more comforting was the material he seemed to have been placed atop of, though he may not be able to move much he had gained some level of feeling in his torso and chest. Upon further inspection, he realized he was in, the closest he could describe as, a large nest made of a mixture of organic materials. It was surprisingly nice, relaxing even as he turned his attention to other things. His quickly shifting gaze fell on a makeshift table, again, made of the organic matter though it was incredibly off balance. It didn't hold his interest long, but he noticed some objects seemed to be on it. He couldn't catch more than a glimpse and pushed himself up as far as he could to see. Instantly regretting it. 

_        Oh, Primus, I'm living with a serial killer. _ He thought once he caught sight of a frame reshaped with some slapstick welds. It almost looked like a converter and the sense of dread grew at the prospect of the techno-organic cannibalizing somebot else's Energon. He felt his own tanks squirm at the thought of ingesting that Energon. His old frame rested beside the other dead body and he confirmed only a serial killer would keep dead metal, maybe they were trophies. That didn't make much sense since he'd been killed by Shockwave, not this mech. Unless he was only saved so the green mech could finish him off, himself.

Though the longer Blurr looked, all worst case scenarios running through his helm, the more he began to realize the 'converter' thing was the green mech's own body, or maybe an old one. The frame must have suffered some severe damage, but re-purposing it was still fairly disturbing though still interesting, understandable, and quite frankly a little bit genius. It would also give some explanation on how the other mech held some knowledge on spark transplantation into a protoform blank if he'd done so himself. Which also brought Blurr to look at the lone blank, he wasn't sure what it'd be used for, but he deemed the techno-organic resourceful and assumed it wouldn't go to waste, perhaps it'd be used as some sort of building material...Along with his old frame, as much as that slightly unnerved him. Though it was a contribution he was willing to make as thanks for getting him out of it. Besides, he'd likely be stuck with the mech until his spark completely synced with the protoform so, might as well play nice, even if he had a feeling their similar lack in proper socializing abilities would make doing so...Interesting. He just had so many questions, too many. 

       Since he was unable to answer his own remaining inquiries about the mystery mech, all he could do was wait with a final one on his processor, where was the techno-organic currently?

* * *

  
  


      Waspinator finished collecting the Energon crystals from yesterday and began flying back to his hideout. He was unsure on how to feel about his guest, despite only having one conversation, the mech seemed nice enough. But didn't they all at first? Still, it'd be a while before he could morally send the bot off if things went south. Though, his musing was cut off when he accidentally dropped one of the crystals. With a loud sigh, he flew down to retrieve it only to drop more. His annoyance showed as he transformed to bipedal mode and let the rest fall as well. With another huff of air through his vents, he sat down and crossed his arms over his knees. A few feet away from his pedes was a lake and he quickly stopped the stray crystals from rolling in it before returning to his position.

       Looking across the body of water thoughtfully, a soft breeze rippled the glass-like surface. It disfigured his reflection before finally settling. His spark gave an unsettling squeeze when he saw the mirror image staring back at him. The feeling finally subsided once the logical part of his processor recognized it as him, but the upgrade didn't feel like him. It wasn't Wasp, it was Waspinator but Waspinator was him,  _ is _ him. Still, something didn't sit right with it, the frame still didn't feel like his, but maybe he just didn't properly integrate into it yet. Really, he hadn't had much time to settle when his frame had been upgraded and he hardly took time to actually look at it now until he could properly recognize it as him. He was just too busy, but the sudden frame dysphoria had him regretting that decision as he became increasingly uncomfortable and quickly looked away from the bot staring back at him. 

       He paused, looking at his servos before deciding to do something he hadn't done in a while. His T-cog released a whine and his frame pinched as his bipedal mode changed, not to his beast mode but instead to his secondary bipedal mode. A strange glitch he'd discovered when he decided to place himself into a protoform instead of rebuilding himself, was his coding seemed to be corrupted from the experiment and allowed him to switch between bipedal and alt-modes. Transforming from Waspinator to Wasp or back was always painful and he only had use for his upgraded form so, he rarely did so. Still, being Wasp at least settled the dysphoria but heightened his other insecurities. He felt more vulnerable, tiny even, as he continued to hug his knees to his chassis. 

       Standing up abruptly, he began to pace to calm his rapidly beating spark. His frame felt chilled despite the moderate temperature. He wasn't sure what was bringing on this attack, usually it helped to switch forms but if anything the depersonalizing feeling usually in the depths of Waspinator's processor suddenly sprung forth. The feeling triggered flashbacks to a time locked inside a small cell. Nothing but his thoughts to keep him company until even those felt foreign in his own processor. Until nothing felt real, nothing felt like him. It helped back then, to dissociate himself from the pain, the torture, the absolute solitude. The Autobot's had tried everything they 'morally' could, though that line had obviously been set high as they were dubious on few methods to use on him. Anything they weren't willing to do, the rare cellmates he'd receive were all too keen on introducing their methods to a  _ fake _ . 

       He would never go back, everything will be fine. Everything  _ is _ fine,  _ he's _ fine. He wasn't going to go back, he was here, he was him, this was him and those things did happen but, they were  _ over _ now, he's free.

       Wasp clutched his chassis, feeling himself begin to emotionally slip and tried to quickly ground himself. He looked back into the pond, prepared and determined as Wasp stared back at him.  _ He  _ stared back before transforming back to Waspinator with a small flinch at the pain. His gaze returned to the reflection and he told himself that was still him, now maybe if he said it enough he could convince himself. Still, he supposed he'd just need more time to heal but that was okay. He's in a safe environment to heal, with all the time he could ask for. At least he wouldn't be lonely, which reminded him he had a sleeping Elite Guard in his home who he should check on. 

       He looked around for the crystals and picked them up, distracting himself with a list of things to do for today. He just had to fly back to his cave, convert these crystals into cubes, then he could relax and check the other mech's syncing progress. These thoughts helped little as he made his way back to the place he called home. Still, he had to calm himself, he didn't want his erratic EM field giving the Elite Guardsmech the wrong impression. So, once he arrived at the mouth of the cave he transformed back to his main bipedal mode. He held the crystals close to his chassis as he released a loud ex-vent, retracting his field before entering. 

 

      Notably startling the very much awake speedster with his sudden presence, but paid the immobile mech no mind as he headed over to the converter. He kept his emotions well in check, but he couldn't help noticing the other mech's field was completely open. Suspicion/concern/distrust/discomfort/wonder/even hints of fear flared out. He knew it wasn't the Elite Guard's fault, it was practically impossible to retract an EM field when in a new frame, at least for a while. This mech had no idea how vulnerable he was, or at least not as nearly.

       Waspinator chose to ignore that as he placed the crystals beside the filter while opening it with his secondary servos and grabbing the cubes. Turning his attention to stacking them on the floor before he began filling the converter back up. He made sure it was working again before glancing at the sparkless block considerately. Deciding against using it for anything at this point of time and instead grabbed an Energon cube before finally walking over to the blue mech, trying to appear as non-threatening as possible as he crouched to the other mech's level. He transferred the cube to his secondary servos before reaching out with his main ones slowly.

       Blurr couldn't help flinching away slightly, but settled when his servos were grasped and he was pulled into a sitting position. His processor was going a mile a minute, filled with questions and concerns which only grew as he tried to guess the techno-organic's intentions. He watched the fuel be placed down near his pedes and his gaze quickly flicked back to the green mech. 

      "Can Blur-bot move?" Waspinator asked. 

      "Not-much-but,-I-can't-help-wondering-why-you-care. You-don't-even-bother-using-my-name-despite-the-fact-I-previously-disclosed-it-which-you-still-have-yet-to-do."

      "Voice synthesizer clearly working." He quipped, satisfied by the sound of indignation the speedster released. Blurr quickly closed his intake, looking away with a frown making the techno-organic feel a bit guilty for the comment. Waspinator hesitantly began prodding at the other mech's frame, turning the bot’s helm this way and that to be sure it was working. Still, though there was still a refusal to look at the larger mech, cheek plating puffed out a bit and lips formed a tight line. "...Waspinator." Said mech finally introduced, pointing at himself with a free servo. 

      Blurr's attention was finally back on the other mech, a look of surprise replacing the scowl. "Waspi-"

      "-Nator, Waspinator." The green mech quickly finished, not liking the pause. 

      The speedster raised an optic ridge at the sudden rush to complete the name —he was just trying to sound it out— but didn't comment on it. "Waspinator-then, nice-to-meet-you." Though, the only response he got after that was a nod as the other mech continued to poke and move him. 

      "Blur-bot feel that?" Waspinator asked as he touched the pointed shoulder guards. The speedster nodded, still not able to move them much but he had gained feeling in his upper body. Waspinator released an approving noise before moving lower to the upper arms, he squeezed gently, watching for a response before moving on when he got one. He continued testing the arms, twisting the joints slightly and bending the elbow. Finally, he made his way to the speedster’s servos, turning them over in his own as he pressed different sensory pads waiting for confirmation of feeling before moving on to the white digits, curling them each and giving a delighted sound as they stiffly curled themselves in turn. "Progress is good, very fast." 

      "How-long-do-you-think-it-will-take-until-I-can-completely-move?" Blurr asked, his unresponsive appendages itched to move, he craved the speed, missed running. He hoped soon, but he couldn't help feeling crestfallen when all he got was a shrug. 

      "Energon help speed up process. Blur-bot is speedy-bot so, shouldn't take too long." Waspinator's response was pleasing until the first words fully processed.

      Not this again. Blurr wouldn't be able to handle the embarrassment of being hand fed a second time. Though he was pleasantly surprised to have the cube placed in his servos. He couldn't really get a grip on it, but the techno-organic helped him hold it before placing secondary servos on his elbow joints making the movement easier on him as he attempted to lift it to his lips. He had to lean down a fair bit, but the other mech patiently supported his arms and held his servos around the Energon as he refueled. It felt a lot better to be able to feed himself, kinda. Still, he gratefully took his fill, thanking the green mech once he finished. The empty cube was set aside so, he prepared to try to get some more of his questions answered. 

      "Recharge." Waspinator instantly cut in, laying the talkative bot down. 

      Blurr pouted again but, this time more lightheartedly as the techno-organic got up as soon as he was laid down. Though, he supposed it was better not to harass the other, it was obvious that the hybrid wasn't the chatty type, but the Autobot Agent knew how to be quiet too. So, he released a huff before closing his optics and shifting onto his side as much as possible. He was determined to get to know more about his saviour. He continued to feign sleep as his processor stayed online, making a list of important questions and personal ones until his racing mind finally slowed down enough for him to actually slip into recharge. 

  
  


      Blurr's optics snapped open, his in-vent hitching as he finally gained his bearings. His plating rattled against protoform as he shook. He'd had a nightmare which left him anxious as he managed to sit up and loosely wrap his arms around himself. It was the best comfort he could manage in his weakened state as he continued to shake. His spark fluttered unpleasantly in anxiety as his whole frame felt light and tingly. He tried to hug himself tighter, hesitantly looking around the cave and discovering it was the night cycle. It was near pitch black outside, the only illumination being the thousands of stars and two moons shining high in the sky. His optics adjusted to the low-level light and he realized he was alone once again. Which was probably a good thing as he laid back down on his side, unable to suppress a whimper as his thoughts tortured him with images from the false reality, still the dream had felt so real. Yet, the discomfort of being alone suddenly broke through, he found himself unexpectedly craving comfort, touch, company. Anything to distract himself would be nice.

       Waspinator was nowhere in sight though, which was strange, didn't the mech ever sleep? When Blurr shifted his servo felt a warm spot beside him a few feet away like someone had been there a little while ago. It should've unnerved him more that the techno-organic may have been sleeping near him earlier, but as he found himself practically crawling to the spot, he couldn't complain as the excess heat warmed his chilled frame. He left out a soft ex-vent, curling in on himself as well as he could. His processor continued to race, but he slowly settled back down, at least mildly comforted as he closed his optics again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, after all that angst I think I should share a little mistake I made XD I was on an eight hour drive so I had to use my tablet to write and well, the tablet has autocorrect and it changed one of my sentences in one of the most horrifyingly hilarious ways possible. Here:
> 
> Waspinator released an approving noise before moving lower to the upper arms, he screeched gently, watching for a response before moving on when he got one.


	3. Quips And Quirks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blurr wants to help out more but, it's clear his healing isn't quite done. This is especially made apparent when he has another nightmare and seeks comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Nightmares, death description, panic attacks, anxiety, temporarily disabled character, talk of disability. 
> 
>  
> 
> But on the bright side we've got some sass and comfort.
> 
>  
> 
> Beta-read by the absolutely lovely Early Morning Massacre!

 

       When Blurr onlined his optics he was blinded by sunlight momentarily before his optics managed to adjust. Instantly, he realized was still in the spot he'd moved to and now that he could see more he noticed deep gouges in the nest. They were obvious claw marks and from the annoyed buzzing his audio receptors were picking up he could assume who'd inflicted them. He wasn't sure how long ago, could have even been last night but, who knew? Well, clearly the bot fixing the damage and with some organic material including...Spider webs? Odd, but he didn't question it as he tiredly watched the techno-organic work.

       "What-happened?" He finally asked.

       Waspinator seemed startled, having not noticed the speedster was awake before scowling and getting back to work. "Nothing." He bit out, the annoyed buzzing increasing as the stupid webbing stuck to his digits and wouldn't go on the damn nest.

       "Are-you...-Alright?" Blurr hesitantly continued his questions.

       "Fine." The green mech grunted, finally managing to finish a patch.

       The concerned mech bit his glossa to stop the oncoming onslaught of questions that bubbled up in his vocalizer. The techno-organic was clearly in even less of a question answering mood than usual. Still, he looked down, stiffly flexing his servos as much as he could before looking back at the damage. "Do-you-need-any-help? I-think-I've-gained-enough-motor-skills-in-my-digits-to-at-least-provide-some-assistance. It-may-also-help-if-I-practice-further-movement-besides,-It's-the-least-I-could-do."

       Waspinator was silent as he processed, then considered the proposition before shrugging and pushing some of the material over to the speedster, while continuing to work with his primary servos. Blurr watched before following suit, he grabbed a stick and began threading it through the gash, he pulled it as taut as he could. Which wasn't very much, but the stickiness of the webbing made it stay. He wasn't the most dexterous at the moment, but he did what he could as fast as he could, enjoying being able to both move and do something productive. The silence wasn't particularly bothersome as they both fixed the damage, but he accidentally broke it with a brief wince of pain. It felt like lightning shot up the circuity in his arms as his servos locked up. He quickly pulled them to his chest, only succeeding in irritating the tense joints further. He'd obviously stressed the servos too much too soon.

       Waspinator stopped what he was doing and looked at the other mech. Putting what he had been holding down, cautiously he reached out, offering his primary servos to check the malfunction. The speedster's faceplate scrunched up in pain as he took the offer, placing his locked up servos into the techno-organic's.

       "Blur-bot okay?" Waspinator asked, carefully turning the wounded servos as he inspected them.

       "I-suspect-I-overworked-them?" Blurr asked, getting a nod in response as the other mech tweaked some of the wiring. Large primary servos held his in place while nimbler secondary servos massaged the joints and kneaded circuitry, releasing some of the tension. Finally, the overall pain ebbed but, there was still a minor ache.

       "Blur-bot not move servos too much anymore today." Waspinator said as he finished and released the speedster's servos.

       "You're-very-good-at-this-were-you-a-medic? If-you-don't-mind-my-asking."

       "No, Waspinator just...Remember cadet training." Said mech mumbled.

       "You-were-a-cadet-too?" Blurr asked excitedly before pausing and squinting suspiciously. "For-which-side? I-never-received-medical-training-as-advanced-as-this."

       "Wasp-...inator wanted to be best commander, know as much as possible and asked for extra training in multiple fields," That was probably the longest explanation the speedster had wrung out of the techno-organic. Though the green mech looked positively solemn. "But, Wasp-inator wasn't good enough, no one believed in Waspinator so Waspinator get kicked out."

       "What-happened?" Blurr could tell there was more to the story, but he assumed he wouldn't be getting an answer as the larger mech visibly began to shake. He was about to change the subject since it obviously seemed to upset the mech.

       "Waspinator not want to talk about it." Said mech looked away, quietly chittering in distress.

       "That's-alright," Blurr tried to be reassuring and gently placed a servo on the anxious mech's arm, rubbing softly but firmly enough to ground the green mech. "Here,-I'll-tell-you-a-bit-about-myself. I'm-an-intelligence-agent,-or at-least-I-was-before-the-whole...-Cube-incident." The attempted change in subject backfired, only succeeding in stressing him out with bad memories.

       "Blur-bot dangerous then." Waspinator stated.

       "I-suppose-but-it's-hard-to-say-yes-to-that-when-I'm-in-this-state," The speedster tried to make his tone light-hearted as it was clear more things were tense here than just his servos. "But-I'm-a-good-ally-as-well."

       Waspinator only grunted in acknowledgmentt as he returned to fixing the nest, finally finishing sealing the scratches. Blurr still wasn't done with the conversation though. "Will-you-tell-me-what-happened-here-now?" He asked, gesturing to the patch up.

       "Waspinator had bad memory relay." Said mech explained with a sigh, knowing the topic wouldn't be dropped, before standing up.

       "You-had-a-night-terror? I-had-one-last-night-as-well."

       "Waspinator not want to talk about that either." He quickly shut down that conversation as well.

       "What-don't-you-not-want-to-talk-about." Blurr muttered to himself watching Waspinator as he walked over to the Energon converter and pulled out the last cubes.

       He still had a fair stash, but he didn't have time to collect more today as he had to visit Blackarachnia for the supplies, putting him in a worse mood. Really, today was not one of his better days and it clearly showed. Still, he tried his best to keep his irritation to a minimum but being constantly questioned by an Autobot agent didn't help too much. Though, what did he really expect when he got himself into this situation? He didn't really regret it though, not yet at least.

       "That-was-your-frame-wasn't-it?" Blurr asked, nodding to the converter when the techno-organic turned to look at him.

       "Yeah." Waspinator quirked an optic ridge, not understanding the significance, but mildly impressed the other mech figured it out.

       "Who-helped-you-sync-your-spark-with-the-protoform? Like-you're-doing-for-me."

       Now both of his optic ridges furrowed. "No one." Wasn't it obvious he was alone? The spider-bot was not counted since she'd never help him and hadn't. His response seemed to upset the other mech who's still open field displayed concern/sadness/curiosity. It was surprising, someone actually caring enough to feel that way.

       "You-had-to-go-through-this-alone?" Blurr asked, randomly gesturing to himself, trying to indicate the immobility.

       Waspinator nodded, it was hard but he'd survived worse. It wasn't exactly fun, but it wasn't torture, as it clearly was for someone built for speed, for movement. He also took longer since he had a bigger frame and was without Energon for a majority of the process. Still, his frame didn't burn through energy nearly as quickly as the speedster's model, not to mention the little outburst at the beginning from the blue mech that drained the stored energy in the protoform. Which, if the other mech wanted to be able to move sooner he'd need more Energon and recharge.

       Waspinator grabbed a cube and gave it to the immobile mech. "Refuel and recharge." He said, watching Blurr huff before rolling his optics and slowly doing as told. Though it was clear halfway through draining the cube his arms were getting tired so, the techno-organic once again helped support him.

       He quickly finished but his prodding clearly wasn't done. "Why-don't-you-refuel-and-recharge? I-haven't-see-you-do-either-these-past-few-days." It was obvious Waspinator did since he looked moderately healthy and well, the nightmare but it was still true Blurr had not seen it. Besides, he was forced to put his trust in a mech he hardly knew so, it was only fair. Not to mention he was also sick of being bossed around like some new spark.      

        "Fine." Waspinator shrugged, grabbing his own cube and downing it in one go. He put both empty containers to the side with more force than necessary before making his way to the opposite side of the nest and laying down heavily. He rolled onto his side, facing away from the speedster with his arms crossed, his wings twitched in obvious annoyance now and again.         

       "Alright." Blurr shifted to lay down as well, a good distance away. It was obvious playing nice wouldn't work out today but at least he had gained some insight on the other mech. There was still so much more he wanted to know but he'd gotten enough answers for today.

       Honestly, he was surprised, both at the explanations and the fact that the techno-organic complied to his passive-aggressive remark. It was certainly a comforting gesture. Still, he had to feign sleep again as his processor relayed all the information he had gathered. He knew it'd be awhile before his processor would shut down to allow him to recharge again so, he let it run. He closed his optics and softly traced the padding beneath him, enjoying even the simplest of movement as it was proof that he could. He listened to the quiet whir of his systems before his audios picked up the hum from the larger mech's frame. Turning slightly, he looked at the other mech and watching as an antenna or wing would flick every once in awhile. He found it oddly endearing, even with the horrible communication skills, blatant secrecy, strange quirks, and obvious angst maybe this mech wasn't so bad. He turned back onto his side, staring at the wall and Energon converter before closing his optics.

 

 

        _The walls slowly began to close in around him making him panic more as he pushed against them with all his strength. Still, they continued to move, cornering him despite his efforts to escape. His spark raced faster than his processor as he resorted to beating his fists against the barrier, calling for help even as his vocalizer fritzed from his anxiety. His limbs began to press together, he looked around frantically but, there was nothing there to help him. The pressure in and against his frame increased, raising his temperature to uncomfortable degrees as his vents were blocked. Yet he refused to give up, to accept the inevitable, and his helm turned upwards. There was an opening but, he was too short to reach it and too enclosed to jump. His arms began to go numb as his legs buckled but hope was in sight as a shadow cast over him, a mech stared down at him. He wriggled, managing to release one of his arms and reached out, begging as the walls continued to squeeze him. Though that hope for salvation died as he recognized the mech above him. A singular, glowing, red optic pierced through his very spark as the dull pain finally registered. Discomfort grew to agony, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't move, everything hurt, and his screams went unheard as he was illuminated with a red hue. That burning ember eye being the last thing he saw as the walls completely closed in around him, crushing him all over again._

 

 

Blurr's optics instantly onlined as he unexpectedly heaved, his tanks nearly releasing their contents. Sucking in a sharp intake of fresh air, his plating rattled loudly against his protoform as he shook. He was having trouble stabilizing himself but he soon realized he was moving. Panic and confusion overwhelmed him until he was suddenly being encompassed in a calming EM field coaxing him to relax. Still, his disorientated processor remained alarmed until he figured out Waspinator was carrying him outside. His arms hung loosely around the larger mech's shoulders but his digits held a death grip. He released it, instead resting his servos against the broad chest as his spark continued to give deep fluctuating thuds. Admittedly the fresh air was doing wonders for his psyche even if the contact was a bit suffocating after the dream he had. Even so, as his frame continued to tremor in post-panic attack, he found himself pressing into the touch. He was being carried bridal style so there was still plenty of room for him to escape, which soothed his instincts despite the fact he had no intention of doing so.

       They suddenly stopped walking and the techno-organic sat down. He began to move the speedster from his lap but he was instantly latched onto unexpectedly. The blue mech seemed desperate, really, it was a good thing he'd been asked to recharge alongside the other or else he probably wouldn't have been there to help. The soft crying and flailing had woken him up as the other mech tossed and turned. He knew carrying the smaller bot out of the cave was a bold move but this spot often calmed him after a bad night so, he'd thought it'd help the other mech as well. He certainly hadn't expected this reaction.

       Though Blurr seemed to take no interest in his surroundings, instead, he focused on holding onto the larger mech who continued to emit safe/calm/protected. Fluid began leaking from his optics and he wiped it away as he released a shaky ex-vent. His cooling fans stuttered as the panic overheated his frame, his chassis felt tight with distress. He hesitantly leaned into the techno-organic, seeking further comfort but unsure if it'd be provided. The other mech carefully rubbing his back plating had him sighing in relief and relaxing into the slight embrace, the left primary arm rested on his hip while the large, and right secondary servos gently traced up his spinal strut; soothing and not constricting.

       Finally, he calmed down enough to look at around him. They sat near an edge, still a safe distance away, which gave the perfect view of the valley below. A lake lined with trees appeared a deep black except for the ripples which reflected the stars above bringing his attention up. Instead of being greeted with a large red optic he saw stars splattered across the marbled sky. Black, blue and purple mixed together behind the bright lights and it really was a breathtaking sight. Two moons hung in the night sky, further bathing them in pure, white light. It was peaceful, as only the sounds of their systems, and native fauna warped the silence. He felt much better now.

      "Thank-you." He mumbled against the other mech's chest, his voice box still crackling slightly.

      Waspinator rested his massaging servos on the small of the speedster's back. "Mhm."

Blurr steadied his in-vents, holding them before releasing until the after effects wore off and he only felt a small level of raw, tingling discomfort. He finally managed to untangle himself from that relaxing field and pulled himself out of the other mech's lap. Any pride he'd had felt dented over the breakdown and coddling as he dragged himself to sit beside the techno-organic.         

       "Blur-bot okay?" Waspinator asked.

       "Fine."         

       Snorting at the response, he didn't really know what else to do to comfort the bot. Instead, he wrung his digits nervously as he contemplated. He wasn't that great of a conversationalist, at least not anymore. Still, he had to conjure up something. "...What's Blur-bot's favourite show?"

       Blurr raised his helm, tilting it slightly as he didn't expect the random conversation starter but he decided to humour the mech for trying. "Well,-It's-definitely-not-Street-Demon," He couldn't help chuckling to himself, his experiences on Earth felt so long ago. "I-guess-I-don't-really-have-one. What-about-you?" He questioned, hoping to avoid thinking about the past.

       "Can't remember." Was the ever intelligent, conversation maintaining response.         

       "Alright, wel-"

       "Blur-bot stop talking." Waspinator suddenly cut the other mech off, grabbing his servos. Blurr certainly wasn't happy about practically being told to shut up and getting grabbed, he got that back on Cybertron enough. The larger mech noticed his sour expression and sighed. "Waspinator told Blur-bot not to move servos much anymore today. Blur-bot can talk but Waspinator notice Blur-bot moves servos while talking."

       Blurr raised his servo, lifting his first digit as he objected. "I-do-no...-Alright." He lowered his servo as realization struck.

       Waspinator stifled a laugh. "Waspinator not want what happened earlier today to happen again to Blur-bot." He explained.  

       The speedster sat on his servos before responding. "Fair-enough."

       The silence continued for a while after that until the larger mech stretched and got up. "Waspinator returning to recharge. Blur-bot coming?" He asked.

       "Not-yet...-I-still-need-some-time."

       The large mech nodded before walking back to the cave which surprisingly wasn't too far away, then again this was the first time Blurr was out of there. So, he got off his servos and leaned back, enjoying the cool air against his heated frame. He couldn't believe his life had completely changed in a manner of days. He wasn't sure what to make of this new direction but for now, he liked what it had to offer. That is until he realized his legs are still immobile and he literally just let his transportation leave.

       Well, he was never one to rely on anybot else so, it looked like he'd have to find his own way. Which meant basically dragging himself back and if he got a little dirty that was alright. It took a while, the distance didn't look nearly so small now but he managed to get there. He got to the nest and happily flopped himself onto it, exhausted after that little escapade and also a little grimy now. Still, he considered that an achievement as he laid on his back, venting heavily.

       Once he relaxed again he looked over at the other mech considerately. He was still strangely craving contact..."Waspinator-are-you-awake?" He whispered, shifting closer.

       "No." The aforementioned mech answered.

       "Can-you-wake-up-then?" Blurr played along.         

       Waspinator groaned before rolling over and facing him. "How'd Blur-bot get back here?"         

       "I ran."

       The techno-organic squinted at him before looking down at his dirty pedes. "Waspinator stayed awake in case Blur-bot needed help."

       "Oh, well-I-handled-it-myself."

       "Yeah, Waspinator can tell," Said mech blinked slowly and deliberately with his optic ridges raised. "Anyways, what does Blur-bot need?"

       "Right-uh-well-is-italrightifweholdservosortouchpedesorsomething?" Blurr didn't know why he suddenly became so flustered.

       Waspinator had to take a minute to process the question before his optics shifted down to the other mech's pedes and he instantly offered a servo. Blurr took it, smiling softly as he laid back down and closed his optics, satisfied.


	4. Breaking Boundaries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blurr has to get cleaned and tries to set some ground rules since he still can't walk, which increases his worries. Thankfully Waspinator tries his best to respect boundaries and leaves Blurr alone, who in turn tries to contact Cybertron while alone. Meanwhile Waspinator has a minor breakdown before returning to his daily duties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Past abuse, Mentions of attempted suicide, suicidal thoughts, breakdowns, anxiety, temporarily disabled character, non-consensual touching, accidental self-harm, mentioned claustrophobia.
> 
>  
> 
> Bright side: Silliness, hugs, accidental hand holding, figuring out boundaries and compromises.
> 
>  
> 
> Beta-read by Early Morning Massacre!

     Waspinator lifted his helm quickly, barely online as he roused from his recharge for some unknown reason, but he had yet to open his optics. He rubbed them before blinking and looking over his shoulder. It felt cramped and he noticed his servo was empty so, with a creak of joints he corrected the position. He rubbed in between the plating slightly before bringing his attention back over his shoulder to what woke him.

       Strangely enough, the speedster was awake and before he was for once.  Seemingly busy picking at the grime that was stuck to his blue pedes. Luckily, Waspinator knew just where to go to fix that problem. He sat up, stretching before rolling his stiff shoulder again. It seemed to catch the focused mech's attention who just as quickly looked away shyly. He could understand the embarrassment, breaking down was bad enough, but in front of a stranger was arguably worse. He could certainly empathize so, he'd give the other mech his space, or at least try to. As long as he wasn't angry, the techno-organic could work with that.         

       "Blur-bot want to get cleaned up?" Waspinator asked, relieved when the addressed mech finally looked at him.

       Blurr continued to pick a bit before nodding quickly, not trusting himself to speak. Though, when the larger mech reached out a servo he briskly broke that short-term vow of silence. "Please-don't-lift-me-again,"

       The techno-organic furrowed his optic ridges, that wasn't his intention, but the speedster wasn't done.

       "Or-touch-me-without-any-warning-anymore."

       Quickly he retracted his servo, uneasily twiddling his digits now unsure what to do with them. He was making the blue mech angry, this is exactly what he was trying to avoid. Still, it was a fair request, in truth, he should've considered it before. Admittedly it was rather difficult not doing so when the other mech was unable to move for the most part, but now that Blurr had gained more mobility it was obvious he wanted to do things himself too. So, the hybrid would try to respect his wishes.

       "Okay," Waspinator nodded, noting the sigh of relief and the small smile that response earned. "Can Waspinator help Blur-bot up? Attempt walk to lake?" He inquired cautiously.

       Blurr seemed to consider this, shifting a pede manually to look at both sides before shrugging. "Sure,-that-sounds-nice,-thank-you." He reached out a servo himself, prompting the larger mech to carefully grasp it.

       "Blur-bot ready?" Waspinator asked hunkering down to level the height difference slightly before pulling the other mech up when he received a nod. He rested the offered servo on his shoulder, pausing before wrapping an arm around the speedster's waist lightly, for better support. When there was no protest to the contact he slowly straightened until the smaller mech's pedes were flat on the ground.

       Blurr's legs shook until his knees buckled causing him to stumble. The techno-organic automatically went to catch him but pulled back, instead shifting their weight off of him before slowly easing them back down. "I-suppose-that-isn't-going-to-work." He sighed, sitting on the ground again with a displeased expression.

       "Waspinator bring water to Blur-bot?" The hybrid suggested sheepishly. Blurr shook his helm, it seemed like more work than it was worth and fairly problematic since there didn't seem to be anything that could hold a large amount of water. "...Waspinator carry Blur-bot?" The techno-organic asked, hesitantly.

       "No-no,-I-want-to-try-again." Blurr shook his helm again, he just set his boundaries and he wanted to try to keep them.

       "Alright." Waspinator complied, getting back into their previous position. He once more waited for confirmation to start before they tried again, with similar results. Blurr managed to stand for a few seconds before his legs gave out repeatedly until he collapsed. Instantly the techno-organic caught him as he fell and they both paused. He was quickly set down as Waspinator took a step back, "Sorry, sorry, sorry." He repeated getting more frantic the longer it took the other mech to respond. He hadn't meant to, it was an accident.

       "It's-fine, it's-fine," Blurr waved it off, understanding. Still, he flexed his digits in disappointment before looking down at his pedes, wishing he could move the latter rather than the former. He'd actually prefer his legs over his arms, even if his running would look ridiculous he'd still be running. Though, a tiny smile made its way to his faceplate when he pictured the silly imagery of his arms flailing randomly in the wind. The other mech's clear distress over his lack of response had his thoughts change course and he quietly sighed. "...It-is-painfully-obvious-to-the-both-of-us-that-I-will-not-be-walking,-anytime-soon-so,-it-would-appear-I-need-your-assistance. I-would-like-to-be-carried-if-you-wouldn't-mind. Well,-I-wouldn't- _like_ -to-be-carried-but-clearly-there-are-few-other-options-at-the-moment-still,-I-would-like-to-make-clear-I-give-you-permission-to-touch-me-for-this-purpose-and-I-realize-I'm-rambling, sorry."

      Waspinator blinked rapidly as his processor caught up before finally replying. "Waspinator prefers when Blur-bot talking."

       "Really? Even-when-I-talk-with-my-servos?" Blurr questioned playfully, purposefully gesturing along as well in emphasis.

       "Blur-bot deal with Waspinator, Waspinator deal with Blur-bot."

       "I-can-live-with-that." He smiled softly as he stuck out a servo more so to shake on it, but his servo was instead grasped and he was pulled up for the third time that day. Sighing briskly, he shook his helm as he was held bridal style once again, but his small smile never ceased.

       "This okay?" The techno-organic asked, readjusting slightly.

       Blurr nodded, resting his servos in his lap to minimize contact as they began moving. Though he quickly lifted them to shield his optics from the harsh sunlight once they exited the cave. His optics easily adjusted before dilating as he took in the scenery, prompting him to lower his servos again. Really, as disgustingly organic as this planet was it still had its own strange charm with its vivid blues and greens, large open space that he longed to sprint through, the clear sky, the cool breeze; in all honesty it nearly rivaled Cybertron in all its beauty.

       His wistfulness was interrupted as the techno-organic's wings began fluttering before they were suddenly flying. He yelped, clutching onto the larger mech in fear of being dropped as they took to the sky. He'd done his fair share of aerial stunts before, but always under his own disposition. As his distance from the ground diminished his gyros spun and he found himself grasping his only support tightly. He could feel guilt in the green mech's field as his own went haywire with anxiety. Slowly, his panic was soothed as the hybrid had enough decency to keep them closer to the ground. He still didn't let go though as he looked ahead at their rapidly approaching destination. And suddenly he was calm again. With the combination of their height and his view, in that brief moment, he felt like he was running again.

       Then it was over too soon as they stopped and he was set down near a lake, disappointment set in but he silently suppressed it. Dragging himself closer to the water, he looked into the clear liquid, cupping some in his servos before splashing it on his dirty faceplate. He rubbed his optics clean before peaking one open and noticing the other mech was still standing there, awkwardly.

       "I-can-clean-myself-thank-you-very-much." He snapped, his tone harsher than he intended.

       "Right, right, sorry. Waspinator go run errands, be back later." Said mech pointed behind himself before he flew off again, leaving the blue mech alone.

       Blurr bit his bottom derma, feeling a tad guilty as he watched the techno-organic leave, before sighing heavily. He seemed to have assumed wrong yet again, he just couldn't help feeling irritated. He rarely had physical contact outside of enemy interactions and a brief handshake between another agent or superior. Even that was often sparse.

       Still, not being used to contact didn't entirely explain it so, another factor would definitely have to be his immobility. He'd had his fair share of missions that required him to be still for days on end and those always left him a little high strung afterward but he would run it out. This time was different. He had no idea how long it'd been since he'd been crushed, but it was certainly a long time and he still couldn't move as much as he wanted to. That was what frustrated him the most.

       He huffed angrily before manually moving his pedes and dipping them in the water. Some of the grime easily washed away, but dirt caked in between the plating needed to be dealt with physically. He scrubbed his frustrations out on his plating. He couldn't really feel it anyway.

       Finally, he paused his brutal washing as a thought occurred to him. He had no idea how long it'd been since he'd been attacked by Shockwave. Has anyone noticed he was missing yet? For all he knew, it could have only been a few days ago or possibly even stellar cycles later. Not to mention, either way, he really needed to warn Cybertron about the double agent. Which gave him an idea, even if it was a long shot. He probably wasn't in range, but that wouldn't stop him from trying, as he turned on his comm. Sucking in an in-vent, he held it as he switched through different frequencies. If even just one of them worked, he just had to get a message to Cybertron, that was it.

       Static was the only thing he received on every channel, he attempted a few more but, got the same thing, causing him to slump in defeat. Rubbing his faceplate in agitation before just resting his face in his servos with his optics offlined. He took in steady in-vents to try to relax, but his concentration was broken by a strange noise. He raised his helm but, he didn't hear it again. Still, that prompted him to return to the task at hand and finish getting himself clean. He was still very much on an unfamiliar planet and he had no idea what else was here so, it was best not to stall. He went back to bathing.

 

* * *

 

       Waspinator couldn't help being agitated as he flew away. Though in all honesty, he was more angry with himself rather than the other mech. It was his own fault for putting himself, actually both of them, in this situation. If he'd just left the cube alone then the spark could've died in peace and he could continue on with his lonely life without dealing with a...A clearly traumatized and emotional, immobile speedster.

       He sighed aloud as he began collecting Energon. He'd never been the nicest bot, he was willing to admit that, and that was before all the slag he went through. If anything he'd become better from that. Now he had a clearer understanding of things and could connect more with other bots emotions or experiences. Unless all that simply came from maturity. Either way, he had been young and dumb and paid the price for it but he was determined to be better now. He wanted to be a good mech.

       Flying back to the cave, he set down the raw fuel and left it there since the converter was still full. As he turned from the table he noticed his servos were shaking, signaling a breakdown. He held them to try to stop it but green electricity began crackling up his forearms. He finally noticed his EM field was a wreck as his subconscious thoughts became conscious and memories from the past surfaced without his consent. His mental block was overpowered and he quickly flew out of the cave. He headed straight for a forest a good distance away, which had become his sanctuary for his violent breakdowns. It had been a while since he had had to use it, but he dove into the clearing as soon as he got close enough. His entire chassis felt tight as he collapsed to the ground. He dug deep gouges into the soil under him with his claws.

       No no no no no! He was fine earlier today, he didn't understand what was causing this! Maybe too many things that reminded him of his past? He'd definitely hated being picked up when he was smaller. Ironhide had made that mistake when they first met. It used to be a fond memory once Wasp had gotten over the indignation but now is was shrouded in betrayal and anger. Ironhide hadn't even cared when his 'best friend' was being dragged away, he just stood there with an expression of utter indifference. He hadn't stood up or tried to defend the green mech. He just stood, didn't even watch, didn't even make optic contact. He hadn't even been suspected by the Autobots for possibly being a spy as well despite the fact he only hung out with Wasp! Ironhide obviously continued on his life with a clear conscious since he didn't even bother to visit Wasp, not that he probably could.

       A shot destroyed a nearby tree, Waspinator's whole body heaved as his fists opened and closed. He aimed at another before that one exploded as well. His plating rattled as his thoughts continued to fuel his rage.

       He'd been left by his best friend and only allies, his whole future had been ripped right out from underneath him, goodbye Elite Guard Commander. That hadn't been enough though, no, he'd been tortured for information he didn't have, by a cause he'd been willing to die for. He'd given up begging his innocence after the first few years, after being constantly interrogated and then isolated until he was ready to talk. When all that didn't make him crack, they resorted to beating him, sometimes for fun. He dealt with sensory deprivation until he no longer had a sense of self. He was starved, sometimes fed and then forced to purge, constantly on the brink of death, defenseless, hopeless. Sometimes he was given the hope too, all he had to do was answer them, he did, sometimes he'd make things up just to get them to stop, but it was never good enough and that hope of freedom was ripped away as well. The entire time they'd been wearing down his emotional state. Bombarding him with insults that hadn't phased him in the beginning but, after a while, the confidence he'd built up over time broke and he began to believe everything they said. He still did. He _is_ completely alone, _no one_ cares about him, he has _no_ friends, he _is_ trash, among other things, and above all, he was Decepticon scum. At least the last part he _had_ wished was true.

       Which brought up another thing, when he could no longer trust the Autobots, even the ones who seemed trustworthy, he'd ended up trusting a Decepticon. Blackarachnia seemed to understand him, they had a common enemy, and she was the first bot to not try to slag him since his escape. She offered him power and he took it. Though she seemed to have no care for his mental state, as he nearly had a panic attack when forced to face his newfound fear of closed in places, he trusted her enough to overcome it and walk right into her trap. It had been a painful transformation, but he'd undergone worse. She did keep her promise of making him powerful, and a Decepticon too as he'd sported the logo on his chest. He'd been proud, but in the end, she turned out to be just as treacherous as the rest of them. Actually, she'd done one better and nearly killed him.

       Clearly it didn't work as he was still alive today, still, when he'd transferred himself into a protoform one of the first things he'd done was scrubbed that purple logo off of himself. No longer wishing to trust either side. Now, he wished he'd just stayed where he was and bled out, though death seemed to still elude him. He'd tried, so many times he'd tried, both in captivity and even when he was freed. It had been a while since he'd tried again, but the thought was always in the back of his processor. It always came to the forefront when he felt like this, this anger, this hurt, who could he trust? He couldn't even trust himself.

       Releasing an Energon curdling screech he blasted through an entire row of trees, leaving singed wood and ash in its wake. He dropped to his knees, clutching his helm as the anguish passed, being replaced by crippling grief. Tears welled up in his optics, flowing freely as he hugged himself with his secondary arms. He didn't want to feel like this anymore, he just wanted to disappear, to sink into the dirt, to just stop existing. No one would miss him anyway. Blackarachnia would happily ransack his place if he was gone, taking everything for herself, she wouldn't need him anyway. Blurr needed him though.

       He wiped away a tear, noticing he'd scratched his arm during his outburst. He'd need to wash that, and also get Blurr. Even if the speedster was a bit grumpy and understandably wanted to be independent, he still couldn't do some things without help, so he might not miss him but he did need Waspinator for now. Which was something Waspinator held onto as he picked himself up, looking around at the destruction he'd caused. He didn't feel bad about it, in the end, it helped him take out his aggression and keep his good aim.        

       Still feeling a bit uneasy, he took out one more tree before transforming to his beast mode, fluttering his wings and taking off again. He rubbed any traces of his distress off his faceplate as he headed back to the lake he left the Elite Guard Agent at. Though the closer he got to the lake, he quickly noticed the agent wasn't where he'd left him. Waspinator transformed back and landed, looking around for the immobile mech. His gaze soon wandered to farther in the lake where he spotted the speedster neck deep in the water.

        He was instantly noticed by Blurr who began waving frantically. "A-little-help-please!"

       The techno-organic bit the inside of his cheek, and covered his mandibles. He tried to suppress the snort he accidentally released, but the more he looked, the funnier it became. A small snicker slipped before he burst out laughing, probably harder than the situation really merited, but it made him feel so much better. He was practically in tears and Blurr was shocked but he couldn't help joining in as well, shaking his helm as he chuckled at himself.  Waspinator wiped a stray tear, giggling on and off before getting a hold of himself enough to finally help the poor mech.

       He wadded through the rushing water—which barely reached his waist—over to the speedster. He grasped the outstretched servos and attempted to pull the smaller mech up. It was harder than expected since the other mech seemed to be stuck in the mud at the bottom of the riverbed. He tried again harder, succeeding this time but the force had him falling on his aft into the water and sending him into another fit of howling laughter. It probably wasn't as hilarious as he found it, but his emotions were still easily influenced. His frame began overheating and he sucked in a deep in-vent to calm down enough to talk.

       "W-what happened?" He managed to ask, getting up and helping Blurr back up as well. Supporting under the blue mech's oxter joints again so he wasn't quite standing but at least was upright.

        The speedster couldn't hide his amused smile at the utter ridiculousness of everything that just happened. "It-would-seem-I-accidentally-went-in-deeper-than-expected-and-then-the-current-took-me-farther-than-intended-and-I-became-stuck," The hybrid began laughing again. "Sh-stop-laughing-at-me-that's-rude," Blurr shushed the taller mech, despite his claim, his tone held no anger as he clearly found it funny as well. "Let's-go-before-we-experience-anymore-incidents."

       Though he paused, having just noticed the large gash on the techno-organic's arm. He turned around as quickly as he could, using the other mech for support as he turned to face the confused Waspinator. Blurr took the green mech's wounded arm looking at it with concern. "Now-you-have-to-tell-me-what-happened-to-you?" He chided, determined to get an answer.

       Waspinator looked away in embarrassment, his good mood gone again. "Was an accident." He responded.

       Blurr sighed softly before sitting back down in the water, purposefully dragging the larger mech down with him. "You-have-to-be-more-careful." He began washing the Energon off, making sure to avoid irritating the cut area.

       The techno-organic hesitantly sat down as well, making it easier on the speedster who continued to clean the wound. He didn't really know what to say to that, wringing his secondary servos as he kept his primary set still. Though he didn't get time to figure out what to say as Blurr suddenly pulled away, his optics wide. "I-just-realized-I-grabbed-you. I'm-so-sorry. How-am-I-supposed-to-expect-touching-with-permission-if-I-can't-extend-the-same-courtesy-to-you?" He facepalmed, muttering another apology as he shook his helm.

       "It's okay..." Waspinator trailed off as he suppressed the urge to hug the smaller mech for caring. Instead, he offered his arm, it had stopped bleeding but was still covered in Energon.

       "...Alright." Blurr resumed what he was previously doing, finally able to inspect the damage when it was clean enough. Just as suspected, it was self-inflicted telling by the claw marks. He wasn't sure how to feel about that, but he didn't assume as he finished. "I-hope-that's-better, I-wouldn't-want-it-getting-infected." He smiled softly up at the techno-organic before suddenly being engulfed in a warm embrace. He tensed up but the contact wasn't crushing so he relaxed before hesitantly hugging back. "I-guess-this-makes-us-even?" He asked, noting the obvious relief the other mech displayed at his nonchalant response to being touched. Though it soon became overwhelming and he had to pull back, the techno-organic let him; quickly apologizing profusely as he did so but he waved it off not minding a simple hug...Or at least he wished he didn't. "It's-fine-but-we-should-really-get-out-of-this-river-before-we-rust."

       Waspinator agreed, dripping as he stood up before offering a servo to pull the smaller mech up once again as well. The agent accepted, surprising himself with how willingly he allowed himself to be carried. Obviously the flight was still a little gyro spinning and made his spark fluttery as his instincts filled him with the anxiety of being dropped, but the small amount of trust given in such a short time was unexpected. Then again, he didn't have many _to_ trust and since he couldn't contact Cybertron it would seem he's going to be stuck here for a while.

       Within minutes they were back, dare he say...home, and he was placed down in the nest. The techno-organic didn't immediately join, instead opting to switch the Energon he'd collected earlier today and collect the empty cubes from the days previously. Once he finished he finally sat down, offering a full cube to the speedster before leaning back and relaxing when it was taken.

       "Blur-bot all clean?" He asked.

       "Hm,-as-clean-as-I-can-be-with-these-digits-and-no-additional-cleaning-supplies." Blurr curled the digits on his free servo for emphasis before taking a sip of his fuel.

       "Need help now? Waspinator want to check syncing progress again, actually help Blur-bot clean as well if that okay?" Said mech chuckled before getting up and grabbing an empty cube before waiting for the other mech's response.

          "I-would-like-to-check-myself, thank-you-very-much. I-don't-like-anyone-touching-my-pedes." Blurr was even hesitant in letting medics near those but that was for fear of damage. Now, there wasn't much harm to do but even now the apprehensiveness never died. The hybrid seemed to respect his boundaries and made no further move to touch him. With a sigh he began checking his legs, pressing on different areas and quietly becoming increasingly annoyed as it quickly became apparent he couldn't. The feedback was too strong in his servos and easily blocked out any weak signals his pedes could be giving out. It would appear he would need help from the other mech and it was easy to see Waspinator already knew this.

       "Waspinator can wait until Blur-bot ready."

       "I-appreciate-that-but-despite-my-own-qualms-I-doubt-it's-wise-to-put-this-off-and-since-it's-quite-obvious-I-can't-do-this-myself-I-need-to-accept-your-assistance,-given-it's-still-offered,-and-put-aside-my-own-misgivings." Blurr blurted out before he could talk himself out of it. If he wanted to be able to walk he needed to do this, he had to place more trust in the techno-organic and just pray it wasn't misplaced.

       "Okay, Waspinator do it right." Before the speedster could ask what he meant, Waspinator left the cave, further confusing the smaller mech who blinked rapidly but waited for him to come back.

 

       When the hybrid did finally return Blurr raised an optic ridge as a once empty cube, now filled with water, was placed in front of him. Pulling a rudimentary cloth out of his subspace, Waspinator dipped it into the liquid before holding a servo out for the agent's pede. There was still plenty of hesitancy but he remained patient as he waited before Blurr manually lifted one and rested it on the larger mech's waiting servo. The techno-organic gave him a soft, reassuring smile before slowly and carefully beginning to wipe down the bottom of his pede.

       "Blur-bot feel that?" Waspinator asked, gently digging his claw in between a seam to disturb the neglected grime.

     The aforementioned mech shook his helm prompting the techno-organic to continue. He watched warily but the other mech was nothing but attentive and thorough, asking every now and then if he felt anything before properly cleaning the area. So, he slowly began to relax, quite impressed with the treatment and mildly surprised. Seeing the damage those claws had done on two accounts he was understandably dubious about them being applied to his seams, but the grooves were cleaner than they'd ever been under his own round digits.

       He lifted a servo and inspected it, surveying his full, white digits before looking at the green mech's. Before he could stop himself he was reaching out, confusing the other bot who's unimpeded primary servo was lightly grasped. Though the hybrid continued cleaning, allowing the speedster to do as he pleased with the larger servo.

       Blurr compared their servos by pressing them together, his being wider but certainly smaller and more Autobot like. The pointed green claws of the other mech gave a very Decepticon like vibe but the owner did not and they weren't purposefully used for harm as far as he knew. He still certainly wanted to know which faction the hybrid affiliated with but he was also finding that information slowly becoming unimportant. He'd seen a few glares at his badge every now and then over their time together, also from the information he had gained the other mech had definitely been in a faction at one point.

       His musing was interrupted as a rock was removed from his knee joint, he definitely noticed the sudden lack in pressure and made that known as his attention shifted from their...intertwined digits, _when did that happen?_  To the techno-organic's progress.  

       Waspinator noticed the change as well, still able to read that open EM field, despite being a little _distracted_ by what the agent had been doing. He didn't mind in the least but he'd never held servos with anyone before and he certainly hadn't been expecting it, the other mech clearly hadn't either. Still, he made no move to let go and Blurr seemed too focused on being able to feel something.

       "That better?" Waspinator asked.

       "Yes-I-can't-feel-much-but-I-definitely-noticed-the-change-in-pressure. My-joint-feels-more-fluid-now-thank-you."

       He nodded, taking that as a good sign before he looked to the water and noticed he'd need to get more. He untangled their digits causing the speedster to blush, embarrassment flashing through the EM field but he made no comment on it opting to stand up. "Waspinator get more water, Blur-bot stay here." He tried to sooth the other mech's shame with a hopefully well placed joke.

       "No-promises." Blurr quipped back, laughing quietly as the bigger bot left.

       

       Waspinator flexed his servo as he flew back to the lake, it felt strange for some reason but an almost good kind of strange. He shook it out before landing and emptying the dirty water onto some plants before collecting fresh water. It was a quick trip as he was eager to get back. His breakdown from earlier now at the back of his processor as he returned, resuming the position he was previously in and getting to work on the speedster's other pede. The blue mech was clearly still a little embarrassed and withdrawn but, he continued to test the appendage's response as if nothing happened. Finally, both pedes and knee joints were spotless, with the latter being the most responsive to touch. Which had him hesitating as the last thing to check were thighs and hips.

       Blurr easily followed that train of thought and pursed his lips. The techno-organic had been respectful of his pedes, amazingly so, which were usually a hot spot for him regardless. Quite frankly he was feeling confident enough to allow it, as long as there was no funny business. "Go-ahead."

       "Uh, okay." Regardless Waspinator hesitated, flexing his servos before trying to think of the best way to do this. He decided to use all his servos to cover more plating and get it over with faster. His bigger primary servos tested the blue plating covering the outer thighs waiting for confirmation of feeling before moving on, his secondary servos lightly touching the black plating on the mech's inner thighs.

       Blurr stilled before nodding quickly, oh yeah, he definitely had feeling there, the area warming without his consent but luckily the techno-organic moved on, instead focusing on his hips which would require him to lay down to check the joints. He did so without prompting, it was getting dark and this was the last thing to do before they could recharge.

       Equally wanting the awkwardness over as quick as possible Waspinator lifted the other mech's leg, bending it at the knee to check before pushing a bit more to test the hip joint. Both joints were flexible and moved well so he moved on to the other leg, refusing the let his optics wander and servos linger. The other side took a bit more force, but he remained gentle before deeming everything good enough. He pulled the speedster into a sitting position before setting the cloth and water filled cube off to the side.

       "I-think-I'll-recharge-over-here-if-that's-alright." Blurr pointed to the farther end of the nest with his opposable digit, hoping not to offend the hybrid. His faceplate dusted with a light magenta blush.

       "Yeah, yeah." Waspinator nodded, equally flustered, giving the other bot space by shuffling over to the opposite end and laying down. He fluttered his wings before getting comfortable. He could hear the smaller mech following his lead and shifting over to the other side.

       "Goodnight-Waspinator."

       "Night, Blur-bot."


	5. Standing Ovation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waspinator decides to focus on getting the other mech walking again since he doesn't want to risk health concerns even if other concerns begin brewing in him. Though Blackarachnia's sudden appearance makes things go sour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning doesn't actually have much to do with anything I just had a similar experience recently that I felt like integrating in because it is somewhat relevant. 
> 
>  
> 
> Warnings: Anxiety and pain, it's a relatively clean chapter. 
> 
>  
> 
> Bright side: Dem legs were made for walking, silliness/ utter ridiculousness, cute cliche?
> 
>  
> 
> Beta-read!

 

       Blurr had actually been having a fairly decent recharge for once but then he was suddenly inexplicably awoken by pain. He onlined his optics and tried to sit up, but was unable to do so as warnings flashed in his HUD. Finally, he could feel his legs, but it was not a good feeling. The previously immobile appendages were still numb, but the kind of numb that made them feel like weights filled with static rather than limbs. Like thousands of needles were stabbing into him all at once. So, he tried to lift a leg to fix it but that only succeeded in worsening the painful prickling tenfold.

       He nearly purged, fluid began to well up in his optics. There was definitely something wrong, lack of use had not done him any favours, it was obvious the nerves had been pinched. He didn't know what to do and began to panic, even more so when he noticed Waspinator wasn't in the cave again. Meaning Blurr was all alone with no idea how to fix it. Moving made it worse and holding still didn't make it better so, he hesitantly touched the plating before instantly returning to his previous position as it caused more agony to flood his sensory net. 

       He began to vent deeply, trying to calm down enough to return to recharge and hopefully wake up feeling better. Wincing as he got into a better position, before laying back down as he offlined his optics and forced his systems to offline. This wake-up call giving him a bad feeling about tomorrow as he uneasily slipped back into recharge. 

 

      When Blurr woke up again the pain had thankfully subsided, leaving behind a certain tenderness but that meant he could definitely feel his legs now. Excitement quickly overpowered the apprehension as he sat up, stiffly moving his previously immobile limbs. He sighed with relief before carefully lifting his leg, no longer needing to do so manually. Extending it, he began bending his knee before happily crossing his legs. He touched every inch of the plating, the response was still weak but definitely there. Momentarily he traced over a small dent left from the rock that had been stuck in his knee joint, briefly wondering if that had had any part. Whether it did or didn't he was happy for the clean seams. 

         He turned, disappointed when he saw he was still alone but his sudden cheerful disposition would not be so easily quashed. Instead, he extended his pede once again, moving the joints as much as he could. His wheel spun a bit and he considered trying to activate his transformation cog before deciding against it. Despite his eagerness, he didn't want to push himself too far too fast, as he'd previously seen the results of that. Still, he really wanted to try standing even if he wasn't quite sure how to go about it since he had nothing to brace himself on. Which would mean he had to wait, making him antsy since he didn't know what to do until then. 

       Thankfully it didn't take too long for Waspinator to finally come back, seeming to be in another one of his moods but then again, the speedster couldn't recall actually ever seeing him in an exceptionally good mood, especially not for long. He instantly busied himself with putting away the Energon he'd collected for today, needing to scavenge more frequently thanks to his company. Who he regarded briefly before quickly turning back to the other bot with a raised optic ridge.

       Blurr was in a rather strange pose, laying on his side with a leg raised in the air, clearly showing off his returned ability of mobility. "Hello." 

       "...Hi," Waspinator acknowledged before returning to what he was doing. "Waspinator sees Blur-bot can move now."

       Which was admittedly exceptionally good considering the short amount of time it took but he didn't sound the happiest about it. He didn't want to risk health concerns, but he couldn't help feeling mildly disheartened as it meant their time together was coming to an end. No doubt the Autobot would want to leave reasonably soon. Though, he couldn't blame the other mech or honestly stay upset as he could feel the clear joy practically radiating from the bot. 

       Blurr finally lowered his leg. "I-want-to-try-standing-but-I-need-your-assistance-if-you-don't-mind-providing-it-because-if-you're-busy-I-can-wait-but-I-have-to-admit-I'm-having-trouble-being-patient." 

       "Okay," Waspinator responded before quickly switching the cubes with the crystals.

       Once he finished he turned back to the speedster who notable perked up as he approached. He crouched down, the smaller mech eagerly reached out as they returned to their previous practice of standing. It was clear Blurr's legs were still quite weak as they trembled even as he supported himself against the techno-organic. Though he remained determined, needing to constantly pause and regain his balance but still continuing to try. 

       "Blur-bot want to take break?" The hybrid asked after a while.  

       "No-I-can-do-it." Blurr stated, suddenly forcing himself to stand straight before letting go of the larger mech. His legs wobbled but he managed to stay upright before his systems gave a distressed beep as he just as easily lost his balance and fell forward. He crashed into the other mech's chassis, startling them both. "I'm-sorry-I-didn't-mean-to-it-was-an-accident." He apologized profusely as he struggled to right himself. Though when he was quickly supported again he began to blush. He covered his faceplate as he continued to say sorry, incredibly embarrassed and flustered. 

       "It's okay," Waspinator reassured, extending his arms to give the blushing mech space while still holding the smaller bot up. "But, Blur-bot has to take it slow."

       Blurr recovered soon enough and nodded once he removed his servos from his faceplate. "Okay-I'm-ready-to-try-again-if-you-are." He held onto the other mech's arms as he slowly began to shift his weight back onto himself. His legs seemed to hold with the support so he continued to begin letting go at an easier pace. Once he was holding on with one servo he began to wobble but steadied himself enough to finally completely let go. His balance wavered again but he managed to remain standing. He released a sigh of relief before breaking out into a huge smile. "I'm-standing!" He exclaimed excitedly, slightly losing his stability as he hugged the techno-organic, taking the other mech by surprise. 

       "Aw, how cute, it would seem like bug boy has found himself a mech-friend, now isn't that sweet?" 

       Waspinator instantly pulled Blurr behind him, hissing. "Spider-bot." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, this chapter and the next chapter could easily fit together but, cliffhanger~!


	6. Along Came A Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension rises as Blackarachnia makes threats but once she leaves Blurr and Waspinator get time to relax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Anxiety, Non-consensual touching.
> 
>  
> 
> Bright side: Comfort!
> 
>  
> 
> Beta-read by Early Morning Massacre!

       "Waspinator. It's been a while," Blackarachnia swaggered into the room, her hips swaying as she approached. "I see you've been keeping secrets from me, now that's not what a good friend does." Her tone was smooth if not a little pouty as she attempted to look behind him, having already caught sight of the speedster.

       "Spider-bot not Waspinator's friend." Said mech growled as he shifted to continue obstructing her view. He could feel the blocked mech's EM field displaying concern/curiosity/nervousness/ and extreme anxiety which caused the field to naturally retract slightly. He was sure his own field wasn't much better, he was definitely feeling anxious and angry. Especially angry. Which the smaller mech could no doubt feel due to their close proximity. 

       "Well if that's how you feel, why don't you introduce me to our new guest? Don't be rude," She continued to get closer despite the techno-organic's increasingly protective and threatening display. "I'd like to make a new friend."

       "No, go away." His usual soft buzzing became louder, turning into an angry roar of noise. 

       Blurr pressed himself securely against the larger mech's back, in between the wings helping to shield him. He was usually brave but it was quite clear how much this femme distressed the other mech and it was probably in his best interest to stay out of her sight. Especially in a weakened state like this where he couldn't even feign a confident stance. Which he found his legs increasingly becoming weak the longer the interaction went on. 

Still, he refused to fall and hoped she would leave soon. He was feeling practically suffocated by the hybrid's field, the sheer amount of anger/hate/anxiety was starting to affect him as well and no amount of retracting the EM field would put him out of reach.

       Waspinator's servos were becoming uncontrollably hot as green sparks began dancing around his servos, he was clearly anticipating a fight. Which the femme looked happy to initiate as she touched his chassis before reaching up and scratching under his chin, to which he instantly pulled away. "You used to love having me around, a simple touch and you were putty in my servos," She purred, continuing to touch his chest despite his glare. "But times change, looks like I need some fresh metal." She turned a predatory gaze to Blurr.

       "No! Get out of Waspinator's cave!" Waspinator shoved her back, causing her to hiss as she stumbled and nearly fell back.

       "Alright, that's it! I've had enough of you." She stalked towards the largest mech and he knew exactly what she was doing as she attempted to make contact.

       He avoided her and prepared another attack but she managed to succeed in touching him, instantly sapping his strength and power. He nearly collapsed but managed to stay standing and tried to push her away again but she, in turn, swatted him out of the way, succeeding in revealing Blurr who watched in astonishment and slight horror as the other mech landed across the room. 

       "Oh, don't worry about him sweetie, he's still alive. Probably." She waved his attention away from the hybrid and grabbed his chin, inspecting him thoughtfully. "Hm, pure Cybertronian circuitry. I have to say I'm surprised, it's been awhile since I've seen anything solely technological." She murmured as she continued to touch him. "Oh, Elite Guard too? Well, the fact that he hasn't killed you yet is also quite surprising. Though you seem very...Weak. Maybe it's just pity then." 

       "I-will-have-you-know-ma'am-that-I-happen-to-be-a-highly-respectable-agent-and-I-do-not-appreciate-your-contact-or-your-comments. I-also-believe-Waspinator-told-you-to-leave-so-if-you-don't-mind,-goodbye." He jerked his helm out of her grip before shifting his weight enough to cross his arms without falling.

       Blackarachnia stared at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch any of that," But she quickly turned to Waspinator who was beginning to get up, before the speedster could respond. "You got yourself a chatty one, doesn't really seem like your type." Though her attention was back to Blurr as she grabbed him again, surprisingly stronger than he expected gripping him with the very strength she'd just stolen from Waspinator

         Nonetheless, he certainly didn't appreciate the contact as he was forced to be pressed almost amicably against her frame, her arm around his shoulders kept him securely in place. His plating felt like it was crawling and his spark grew increasingly uncomfortable. His personal space was being heavily invaded and he desperately wanted to get away. It was almost a surprising reaction when he considered how he felt when Waspinator touched him, which was irritating at times but much preferable to this stranger. 

       "Hm, his EM field is very open," The femme watched lazily as the other techno-organic got back up. "He's got some strong feelings about you."

       Blurr flushed both in embarrassment and indignation, he was momentarily confused before he realized his field was almost completely extended. He quickly retracted it, keeping it close to his frame and hugged his arms to his chest, suddenly feeling vulnerable and angry as he didn't know how long that had been going on. He really wanted to pull away and sit down but the femme wouldn't let him. 

       This was easily picked up by the larger mech who had been assessing the situation and was now determinedly advancing. Still, he refused to be a victim in need of saving as once her attention was focused off of him, he took his chance and ducked out of her hold. He'd had to lock his joints in a ditch attempt to stay standing so he couldn't really move away, instead opting to push her away faster than she could readily react to. She seemed more stunned than anything and that gave Waspinator enough time to get in between them once again. 

       Both techno-organics snarled at each other before simultaneously transforming into their beast-modes. Blurr's optics widened as he watched the giant spider and wasp circle each other, not having seen the organic modes before. Blackarachnia paused and laughed when she saw this. "Amazing aren't we?" She momentarily ignored the green mech, still keeping him in sight, as she transformed before bringing her attention to the agent whose legs finally gave out. "Look at that, he's already falling for me," She commented, causing the wasp to hiss but she paid it no mind as she continued to focus on the smaller mech. "You could have this too, wouldn't you like that? You can become big and strong like us! Besides, it's a rule everyone here must be techno-organic." She murmured the last part, seeming thoughtful before flashing him a fanged smile.

       "No, it isn't," Waspinator broke in, transforming as well. "What does spider-bot want?" He demanded, knowing there would be no scaring her away so cutting to the chase would hopefully get her to leave. 

       "Oh, yes, I was coming to ask for more Energon since I'll be needing more for my experiments but now, I think I would prefer a test subject." The femme sent a pointed look at the speedster who glared at her before he briefly cast an uneasy glance at the other mech. 

       "No." Waspinator responded, using his mastered skill of cutting conversations short and left no room for an argument.

       She opened her mouth to argue anyways but her power wore off and Waspinator easily loomed over her. She scowled before sighing and deciding she'd done enough damage today. Waspinator definitely hated her more than ever and hopefully, she could spin that into her favour, perhaps he'd be willing to give her the extra Energon to keep her further away from him and his...Guest. Still, she gave a flirty wave with her digits at said guest before turning to leave. "Fine, but I will be back." With that, she departed. 

 

       Once she was gone and it didn't look like she'd be returning, Waspinator's tense frame finally relaxed and he instantly slumped to the floor. He was exhausted both physically and emotionally as his racing spark slowly calmed and left him feeling drained. He in-vented heavily and had no plan to move as he sat on the floor. Though once he settled his first thought was to check on the other mech who was still sitting in the nest, looking equally as disgruntled. He had no doubt the whole ordeal was also taxing on the speedster and stood up. He carefully approached before sitting down in the nest as well, keeping a good distance to give them both space. 

       Though it was clear Blurr had some things to say first. "...How-long-has-my-field-been-exposed?" Was the first thing he asked, purposefully drawing it in closer. 

       "Since Waspinator fixed Blur-bot..."

       It was obvious he was extremely angry as his voice wavered, refusing to make optic contact as he spoke. "Why-didn't-you-tell-me? I-think-that's-something-I-should-have-been-informed-of." 

       "Even if Waspinator did, Blur-bot couldn't do anything about it. Same thing happened to Waspinator." The techno-organic responded quietly, scratching the back of his neck as he too avoided looking at the other. 

       "You-still-should've-told-me! I-could've-tried-to-monitor-it!" The speedster yelled, he felt betrayed and insecure. He knew the hybrid was keeping secrets and he didn't expect the larger mech to bare his spark but it seemed like common courtesy to not hide things that involved him. Then again, he was keeping secrets too. "You-didn't-tell-me-about-my-field,- you-didn't-tell-me-about-her,-the-more-I-think-about-it...You-haven't-told-me-anything. What-else-are-you-hiding-from-me?" He shouted, suppressing the guilt as Waspinator flinched.

       "Waspinator is sorry." He mumbled, feeling ashamed. He wrung his servos nervously before standing up to leave, unable to handle an argument with his current state. 

       "No-you-stay-right-here-and-answer-me!" Blurr demanded, already his anger was beginning to ebb and become replaced by guilt and exhaustion but he tried to hold onto it long enough to get an answer. 

       Waspinator didn't leave, he just proceeded to stand and twiddle his digits but he didn't say anything else either. The agent sighed in defeat, deciding today had been stressful enough and hopefully, there would be no more surprises. It was also blatantly obvious that he would not be giving a response and further prompting would render him unresponsive. With a loud ex-vent, the smaller mech waved him over to sit. He hesitated before slowly doing so, still keeping a distance as he sat down. 

       Blurr decided he was done with the one-sided argument as well, no longer wishing to let the negatives of today cancel out the positives. His legs were sore but that meant he could feel them, he'd managed to stand if not for a longer period than anticipated or in hindsight recommended, and the hybrid hadn't even hesitated when telling that femme that she could not have him. She'd mentioned something about a test subject which meant he could've been subjected to unknown horrors with no means of protecting himself while still unable to walk or run away. 

       With a final huff to rid himself of the lingering anxiety and doubt, he shifted closer to the other bot and calmly placed a servo on the green mech's arm. Attention finally on him, he reached up but didn't make contact and only offered his servo in an ask for permission to touch. Waspinator accepted, lowering his helm and allowing the smaller mech to soothingly rub his chin. The loud buzzing from before returned but as a deep rumble in contentedness rather than fear and anger. He was still utterly exhausted but he pulled away much to the speedster's confusion before getting up and grabbing one of the newly processed cubes. His tank felt twisted and the thought of fuel made his nauseous from the anxiety so he only got one for the other mech who would certainly need it. 

       Blurr accepted the cube before patting the spot beside him again. Though the techno-organic laid down instead so he gently began stroking the bigger bot's helm and down his neck. The rumbling returned and they relaxed in overall silence despite the slight tension that still hung from the newfound distrust. The speedster refueled while the hybrid rested his helm on the former's lap. They both released a sigh simultaneously, though, the quietness didn't last long.

       "No-more-potentially-dangerous-secrets-alright? Between-either-of-us." Blurr spoke softly, kneading the larger mech's antennae carefully. 

       "Mhm." Waspinator nodded his helm and closed his optics. He tentatively released his EM field, hints of residual anxiety and irritation flickered through it, but he openly displayed calm/thankful/content/comfortable/forgiveness? The last one being directed at the other mech in an inquisitive manner. 

       "Not-yet." Blurr responded but, continued his ministrations regardless. Soon, but not yet. And Waspinator accepted this, with another nod of his helm. 

 


	7. Sick!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As if matters aren't stressful enough, Blurr gets sick and Waspinator takes care of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna hold off on posting this chapter but one of my rats died, I was sick with a cold on my birthday, and I'm even more sick now and trying to hold off on puking myself so I'm not having a good time. 
> 
>  
> 
> Warnings: Vomiting/ Sickness, anxiety, possible near death situation.
> 
>  
> 
> Brightside: Comfort, flowers n shit.
> 
>  
> 
> Beta-read by the lovely EarlyMorningMassacre!
> 
>  

       Waspinator was awoken by the  _ pleasant _ sound of purging, causing him to sit up right away and re-calibrate his optics before looking over. He instantly spotted the speedster's twitching frame as the blue mech hung over the side of their resting place. Finally, there was a break in the retching so the smaller mech sat back, in-venting heavily and shaking frequently.

       "Blur-bot okay?" He hesitantly asked, though he didn't receive an answer as the bot threw up again.

       Once his frame finished emptying its contents, Blurr only groaned in reply as he woozily laid back down. Though it became obvious his tanks still weren't done as he scrambled back up, barely missing the nest as he coughed and spluttered. He could mildly hear shifting before gentle servos were rubbing his back soothingly, but he waved the techno-organic off frantically as his frame tensed and his tanks twisted. Tears pricked his optics as he uncontrollably vomited, shaking his helm when he stopped long enough to rest it on the edge of the nest. 'No, no, no more.' He mumbled quietly to himself as his tanks tensed again, the pressure painfully intense. His processor felt like it was pounding and foggy while his torso ached. Every sensor was on high alert and any touch was incredibly uncomfortable. His cooling fans clicked on and he panted, trying to say as such. "Please...no...contact." He managed to say despite the fact the larger mech had already stopped. 

       "Blur-bot need anything?" Waspinator inquired, unsure of what to do. 

       "An...explanation...would-be nice," Blurr spoke quietly and slowly, feeling weak. He really wanted to know what the frag was going on with his frame and why, but his muddled processor refused to come up with any answers besides the obvious fact of an ingested contaminant. 

       Waspinator seemed to ponder this as he wasn't sure what was causing the purging either but the smell was certainly unpleasant. Though it was unlikely to be a virus since there were few bots here to spread such a thing so it was probably something foreign consumed. "Energon converter." He snapped his digits, realizing he hadn't checked the filter in a while and he'd been rushed yesterday which caused him to forget. It was the only explanation as he hadn't used any of the Energon from the newest batch and the other mech — who released another groan — had.          

       He stood up and walked over to the machine, opening it up and confirming that had been the problem. The filter needed to be repaired, as the converter was homemade and not the most efficient, which meant an entire batch of Energon was contaminated. He grabbed the unusable cubes and set them off to the side. "Waspinator give bad batch to spider-bot." He muttered, causing the speedster to laugh quietly when his comment was heard before the other mech stopped, wincing in pain. "What Waspinator do to help Blur-bot?" He asked as he headed back to the nest. 

       "The-clicking and chittering is-hurting-my-helm. So-is-thinking." Blurr laid down and covered his optics with his arm, his fans continued to try to cool his frame. 

       "Sorry, sorry." Waspinator apologized, trying to quiet both his systems and organic side. Since the sick mech's tanks seemed to finally be empty, he decided to clean up the mess and place the contaminated cubes near the entrance so they wouldn't mistakenly take one before he could get rid of it. Though cleaning up the mess was the harder part and when he ended up gagging over it, the other bot apologized as well, offering to make it up to him later. He only waved it off but was admittedly relieved when the floor was eventually clean. 

       Still, the odor wasn't all that enjoyable and it seemed like the speedster had already slipped back into recharge so, he quietly left the cave. He didn't stray too far though, just far enough to give them both space and enough time to recuperate separately. However, he did go back to retrieve the tainted cubes before leaving momentarily to drop them off in front of Blackarachnia's lab without a word. 

Once that was over with he decided he also wanted to look for a solution to the putrid smell that definitely lingered. Flowers seemed like a good idea, there are plenty to choose from. When he finished collecting some, he returned to the cave and planted them again, both personifying and purifying the space.

       Which once he was no longer distracted, he definitely noted the increase in temperature. Concerned, he quickly made his way over to the sickly mech who was the sole source and was generating an unhealthy amount. "Blur-bot? Waspinator needs to check temperature." He warned the smaller mech who only whined in response. So, he gently placed a servo on the blue frame and pulled back when he made contact as the plating was practically scalding. Purging clearly hadn't released the contamination which meant the speedster's frame went straight to the next step, destroying it by reaching a boiling point. Usually, that would be virtually harmless when having access to a medical facility which could administer coolant before things became critical, but there was nothing like that here. Blurr had a fever and it needed to be dealt with right away. 

       Without warning, the techno-organic scooped him up and tried not to jostle him too much. He did not appreciate it in the least as he was achy, burning up, and grumpy. Everything felt horrible and his spark giving an anxious jolt from the contact only added fuel to the flames. Though he couldn't verbally reprimand the hybrid as his processor refused to work properly, not to mention the nervous buzzing was making it hurt more. His logic circuits were fritzing but he still knew something was definitely wrong as tertiary systems crashed.

       Waspinator flew out of the cave quickly with the smaller bot in his arms. Neither of them seemed to be able to get a break from all this scrap. Still, he properly supported the mech as he rushed to the lake. It was still early morning, meaning the water would be freezing from the night. It wasn't an ideal solution but it was one nonetheless. He'd definitely never flew so fast with extra weight in his entire life. The wind did very little but it was also better than remaining stationary.

 

       Relieved when they finally arrived, he barely managed a proper landing in his briskness to reach the water. The sooner the speedster cooled down, the sooner the clearly uncomfortable mech wouldn't have to be touched. Blurr wasn't able to do much besides release agitated noises and then wince as he was dipped into the cold liquid, causing his exhausted frame to tense and the water to heat up on contact. The larger mech apologized profusely as freezing water was dumped onto Blurr’s boiling frame, steam coming off of the hot panelling, but did not stop doing so. He was forced to lay in the water but the hybrid sat and supported him so he would float.

       They had to move spots every once in awhile when the area became too warm and had little effect, but his temperature lowered gradually. That made him less uncomfortable but didn't completely solve the problem. 

       "Blur-bot has to recharge sickness off," Waspinator stated, keeping his voice low for the other bot.

       "I can't," Blurr mumbled, keeping his optics offline. He always had trouble sleeping, especially when he caught a virus. He'd surprisingly been getting more recharge because his frame had been healing but now that natural exhaustion was unneeded which meant he would not be getting a good recharge anymore. Being sick was just the icing on the scrap cake.

       "Try." Was the larger mech's only response, continuing to scoop and pour water onto him.

       He released a quiet sigh but nodded his helm, the other mech waited patiently and he tried.  _ Tried _ being the key word as his thoughts began to wander and he lost his focus on simply recharging. Now that his processor no longer felt like it'd start smoking if he thought too hard, he was beginning to have questions again. Like why the mech still trying to cool his frame down continued to help him. He hadn't forgotten what that femme had said. He wasn't stupid and the fact that she thought he'd be killed over being an Elite Guardsmech was not comforting in the least.

       Yet he wasn't sure what to believe anymore, he only had himself and his need to seek the truth to truly rely on. It had seemed so simple before, he had known what to believe and believed it but recent events turned everything around. He was fairly certain he knew what was going on and he was prepared to wait for the truth but he wanted to know who he could trust. He knew he definitely couldn't trust that femme, and if he was right in his conclusion then he couldn't trust Cybertron either. He wanted to trust Waspinator but all the secrets made truly doing so difficult.

       At that thought, Blurr returned to thinking about the techno-organic and why he'd been helped in the first place. There was no clear scheme of using him as a bargain or else that would have already happened. Even if that was still the case, no one would go through this much trouble. The hybrid clearly had enemies so why risk another one? He briefly toyed with the idea of a crush and hoped he didn't start blushing but they'd never met before so he quickly crossed it out. He wanted to ask badly as racking his processor for an answer was supplying him with none, just frustration. Though if what he'd collected was true, Waspinator was a mystery even to himself. Maybe there was no reason, maybe there were many.

       Blurr wanted to continue contemplating this but as he was moved to a cooler spot again, he found his systems finally calming down. He felt a gentle servo on his forehelm and his frame finally gave into his exhaustion. 


	8. Being Good Is Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once Blurr is better he instantly wants to help and does so by collecting Energon since Waspinator is busy sleeping. Blurr reminisces about his feelings towards the other bot which becomes problematic as he knows he must leave soon. When the latter point is brought up, Waspinator has a less than satisfactory response as dark thoughts and choosing to distance himself emotionally for fear of being hurt again creates a new problem for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Ah Waspinator just has some dark thoughts but that's about it
> 
> Beta-read by EarlyMorningMassacre~!

       The first thing Blurr did when he onlined his optics was stretch out, easily realizing he was in the nest again. He rubbed his faceplate before looking around tiredly. Thankfully the sickness had finally passed and he felt much better, if not a little weak. The techno-organic was deep in recharge close to him and he felt a pang of guilt as the mech's utter exhaustion was clear, no doubt from dealing with him all night. He was grateful and slowly stood up, still slightly wobbly as he managed the upright posture.

       Taking a quiet in-vent, he carefully began shifting a pede forward. It felt strange but natural as he hesitantly raised his other pede, confident enough to finally take a real step. The first few steps were small, it was weird and caused him to nearly fall over, though his frame relearned the process soon enough. His spark swelled in happiness, he felt proud of his accomplishment as he managed to shuffle over to the table before needing a break. He leaned against it and the wall as he steadied himself, not having much energy. 

       Once he'd regained his posture he shuffled over to the Energon converter and carefully opened it up. Besides the internal components, it was empty of any fresh Energon. Though the filter was no longer on the table and after a bit of searching he saw it was put back, completely repaired. That obviously had taken up much time, no wonder the hybrid was so exhausted. 

       Turning to the recharging mech, his expression was thoughtful as he tried to think of a way to help. His attention returned to the converter as he contemplated before snapping his digits enthusiastically once an idea struck. He searched around the table a bit before finding one last uncontaminated Energon cube. He felt bad about using it since it seemed to be the last one but he would need it.

       Finally refueled, he left the cave to begin his journey looking for more Energon. He wasn't positive of where to find some but he yearned to use his legs at long last. Wandering would no doubt have him stumble across some and would help him become familiar with the planet. It was certainly an interesting one, containing life akin to Earth's while still holding its own wonders. He strolled past trees and other plant life much taller than him. Actually, he noticed mostly everything on this planet was bigger than him.

       After a while he had to take a break and leaned against a large flower, already fearing he may have overworked his legs. Still, determination kept him from staying down for long as he knew he owed at least this to the techno-organic, if not more. Though he did realize another problem, he could stray too far from the cave and be unable to get back, Energon or not. No doubt any crystals near here would have already been picked clean. If he could run he could get this done quickly and efficiently. Unless...

       Looking at the flower thoughtfully, he stood up and walked over to the nearest tree. Physical strength wasn't his strongest attribute but he managed to climb up the tree to get a better view of his surroundings. The cave seemed to be slightly to his left, which was good since now he could identify its location. With a bit more searching and zooming in his optics, he spotted a cluster site. He shimmied back down the tree before making a mark on the ground pointing in the direction of his temporary home. Making sure to memorize the current area, before nodding to himself and heading in the direction he saw Energon.

       Enjoying the exercise, he felt comfortable enough to let his thoughts wander as he walked. He was still worried about Cybertron and his friends but the feeling had unexpectedly dulled. He did want to go home but at the same time, some part of him wanted to stay here. Stay with Waspinator.

       That wasn’t possible though, he had a duty to his fellow Cybertronians. Still, he'd never felt so cared for in his entire existence. Half the time no one even bothered to pay attention to his rambles long enough understand what he was talking about. He always had to slow down or repeat himself, but this mech never asked him to and didn't make fun of him outside of well-placed quips that meant no real shaming. His speech pattern aside, the techno-organic took his mood swings in stride and actually bothered to try to help. Quite frankly, he was suspicious but also entirely overwhelmed by it all.

       He was a blunt mech at times and also observant. The sudden flush on his faceplate and the soft but deep fluttering of his spark at the thought of the green mech did not go unnoticed by him. He just might be having feelings for the other. That was stupid though, he barely knew the mech, he was unsure of their current relationship, he had to return to Cybertron soon, and even if he didn't have to the likelihood of his feelings being reciprocated was unlikely and would most likely lead to awkwardness between them. Still, such feelings would not leave his spark despite the logic in his processor, and he understood this.

       Finally, he arrived at the Energon site and began collecting as much as possible. Which wasn't much, but he hoped it was enough as he continued on his walk, arms now chock-full as he headed back. Though the task did not distract his processor from his thoughts and his mind freely returned to his train of thought as he continued to tread.

       He would have to analyze these feelings further before coming to a decision on what to do. Usually preferring to be upfront about his feelings, he did have a lot to think about since he was still unsure. This was the only time he'd actually gotten to himself where he could actually consider everything and sort it all out. He just hoped that until he figured out what he wanted, his attitude wouldn't be heavily affected. Already between the servo holding, hugging, and small bouts of cuddling he couldn't help facepalming because the techno-organic was smart and observant as well. This certainly was not anything he'd thought he'd have to deal with. Pit, everything he'd had to deal with recently was outside of his comfort zone, unmarked territory that threw a wrench in his old plans for the future; and that made him nervous. 

       Though he didn't get much time to dwell on that as he soon realized he'd arrived at the mouth of the cave. He could always turn back and keep walking but that seemed pointless. Besides, the sooner he delivered the Energon the better and the less he'd have to carry it. So, he took in a deep in-vent before entering the cavern. His legs felt tired but he felt good finally getting some exercise and thinking time. Once he entered the main space he paused, the room was in complete disarray. Everything was overturned, even the nest which was completely flipped over, something that would take a great amount of strength. Thankfully the culprit was only the techno-organic who stopped freaking out once he was spotted.

       "Blur-bot came back!" Waspinator exclaimed, grasping the area over his spark in relief.

       "Of-course-I-did. Though-I-realize-from-the-current-situation-that-perhaps-I-should-have-left-you-a-note," Blurr brought attention to the crystals he was holding before walking over to the table which thankfully wasn't tipped over. "I-noticed-you-are-extremely-low-on-Energon-and-I-thought-it-common-courtesy-to-retrieve-more-as-my-way-of-thanking-you. I-didn't-mean-to-worry-you."

       "Waspinator thought spider-bot took Blur-bot."

        His optics widened, having forgotten the possibility of that threat. "I-suppose-I-was-just-over-excited-about-the-prospect-of-a-walk-and-I'm-used-to-having-my-missions-decided-for-me-so-I-usually-never-have-to-tell-others-where-I-am-going."

       "Waspinator just happy Blur-bot safe." The hybrid admitted, joining him and opening the converter.

       "Can-you-show-me-how-the-converter-works? Just-for-future-reference." He changed the subject, now interested in the machine's inner workings. 

       Waspinator seemed to have to think about it but he eventually nodded, holding out a servo for a crystal. "Converter is primitive. Smaller crystals are easier to process so big ones have to be crushed up first," He was handed a little piece and he cupped it in both servos. "Sometimes Waspinator does this later but Energon needs to be heated up carefully first." Another reason the smaller the better because that meant less damage if there was a mistake. 

       Blurr watched the crystal slowly melt and bit his bottom derma as he looked at his own servos. "I'm-not-sure-I-would-be-able-to-do-that."

       "Blur-bot take more time but can do it." The larger mech assured and placed the liquefying shard into the converter before gesturing for him to try. 

       He shrugged before taking one as well, heating up his servos as best as he could. It did take him longer but thankfully the other mech was helping as well, getting it done much faster. How the hybrid had done such a menial task for so long was beyond him but he could only assume he'd been recharging during most of this. Still, they worked in overall silence, the only interactions being handing over more. He decided to break the silence though. "We're-friends-right? I-would-just-like-to-know-I-mean-I-don't-just-want-to-assume-we're-friends-if-you-don't-like-me."

       "Waspinator hopes so. Waspinator likes Blur-bot's company, does Blur-bot like Waspinator?"

       "Like-as-a-friend-I-like-you-as-a-friend. Unless-you-want-something-else-wait-I-mean-like-I-meant-being-nevermindI'lljuststoptalkingnow." Smooth, so much for keeping his mouth shut. Though the green mech only responded with an optic ridge raise and an 'okay then' but he quickly tried to divert attention. "What's-your-relationship-like-with-that-femme? Is-she-an-ex-of-yours-or-what's-going-on-there? You've-never-mentioned-her-so-if-it-is-way-too-personal-you-don't-have-to-answer." That didn't help much but at least it was kind of something else. He felt like he had his pede in his mouth and kind of wished he literally did to stop his traitorous intake from blurting out everything he thought.

       "Spider-bot is Waspinator's enemy." Waspinator growled and clenched his fist, causing the crystal to shatter before creating a mini explosion in his servo. 

       "An-ex-then," Blurr stated jokingly before laughing. "Are-you-ever-going-to-actually-tell-me-what-she-did-to-you? Because-I-would-really-like-to-know-at-least-at-some-point."

       "Maybe." Was the only response he received. 

       Back to the conversation ending responses then, forcing him to have to accept the open-ended answer. Really the techno-organic had mastered the skill of stopping unwanted topics, something he definitely wanted to learn as well. Still, he decided to push a different topic then. "Hopefully-soon-then-because-I-really-must-be-leaving-now-that-I-can-walk. Cybertron-needs-me-and-the-information-I-have-so-I-can't-stay-here-much-longer-though-I-do-certainly-appreciate-the-hospitality-and-will-pay-you-back-one-day-I-promise."

       Waspinator became eerily quiet for a while causing some sheepish second guessing and it looked like there would be no answer but, he finally replied. "What does Blur-bot do on Cybertron?" He asked, uncharacteristically continuing the conversation while still somehow avoiding the topic. 

       Blurr brightened up in nostalgia as old memories began to surface. "Well-you-see-I-actually-didn't-get-to-spend-a-large-amount-of-my-time-on-Cybertron-since-I'm-an-agent-I-usually-just-go-on-missions-" His words began to blur together but, the other mech tried to look interested. 

       Though as he continued to ramble about his missions, Waspinator found himself distracted. He had succeeded in getting the speedster's processor off of the question but he was still very much thinking about it. Despite himself, his thoughts began going to a dark place and he quickly tried to focus on the rambling again. Nodding along to the story, he once again slowly stopped paying attention. 

       "Waspinator has to go outside, forgot something." He ended up cutting off the still talking bot before abruptly standing and walking out of the cave. He briefly heard an 'oh, okay' as he left but continued out regardless. 

       He didn't go far and when he noticed he wasn't being followed he rested against the side of the cave. Paranoid, he continued to look around every so often as he slumped to the ground. Knowing he was prone to talking aloud when in deep thought, he wanted to be truly alone to freely assess these weird thoughts he unexpectedly found himself having. He had meant to distract both of them with his question but while the agent had taken the bait, he found himself becoming increasingly upset over the prospect of the other mech leaving. 

       Being upset was a normal thing for him, wanting to hurt those who've hurt him was also a reoccurring thing, but he suddenly found his mind-warping the two and creating a new feeling. Possessive was how he could best describe it. He didn't want the speedster to leave him, he didn't want to be left alone again. The solution his processor kept on supplying was to force the smaller mech to stay here, he could do it, it would be ridiculously easy. He's much larger, stronger, powerfull...er and the bot would not be able to escape without his assistance. There would be nowhere to go and the only other bot to go to for help would be Blackarachnia who clearly messed up any chance she had of gaining the 'pure Cybertronian's' trust. Blurr could well and truly be trapped here and Waspinator wouldn't have to feel an ounce of regret. All he'd have to do is distance himself from his processor a bit and convince himself that somebot else did it and he'd be guiltless.

       The blue mech would still associate it with him though, in all technicality it would still be him no matter what he tried to convince himself of. What did he care? 

No, no, he does care. Which was certainly a moral dilemma since he knew in his spark he couldn't do anything to hurt Blurr. Now the techno-organic felt like a selfish piece of scrap. 

       "Waspinator is bad bot." Said mech knowingly muttered aloud. He clutched his helm, ashamed of himself for thinking of doing such horrible things to the one bot who hadn't done him any wrong...Yet. Being good was so difficult and he was failing miserably, but he refused to give into these dark thoughts. He wouldn't allow it and he had to make them go away somehow. For Blurr's sake. 

       Suddenly looking to the sky, Waspinator realized the Space Bridge wasn't in visual orbit meaning he still had time and a possible mental compromise. The bridge was the only way to leave and it would take a couple weeks to come back around.

He sighed with relief before standing up and composing himself enough to soothe his EM field. The last thing he needed was Blurr picking up on anything being off. Holding onto the fact he got Energon while the hybrid was sleeping and he wanted to help afterward, Waspinator managed a falsely optimistic mood as he slowly went back to his lair. He was instantly greeted by a slightly concerned but nonetheless enthusiastic speedster and began to instantly feel guilty all over again. 

       "What-did-you-need-to-do-if-you-don't-mind-my-asking?" 

       He hadn't thought of a cover story. "Waspinator wanted to...Water new flowers but forgot container. Waspinator do it later." Good enough. He continued to try to play the part as he began rearranging the things he'd unwittingly knocked over during his earlier fright. The nest was the first thing to be flipped over as the speedster had been stuck on the ground while he was gone. 

       "I-noticed-them-they-certainly-spruce-up-the-place-a-bit-which-is-great. I've-never-been-a-huge-fan-of-organic-flora-but-the-colours-are-complimentary."  Blurr remained where he was as he was too busy admiring the plants, looking a bit guilty himself as he clearly knew why they'd been placed. 

       "Yeah," Waspinator responded, not entirely interested in the conversation and instead opting to get things over and done with. "Waspinator has news. Blur-bot can leave through Space Bridge but it not come back for a few weeks so Blur-bot must wait." 

       "I-was-hoping-to-stay-a-bit-longer-given-you-don't-mind-but-a-few-weeks-is-extreme," Blurr crossed his arms though he didn't look too angry, only mildly inconvenienced, even as the larger mech shrugged. "Well, thank-you-for-telling-me,-I-appreciate-it." 

       The techno-organic nodded, having already said everything he needed to say and not wishing to slip anything now. Despite knowing he should be thrilled that the other bot would be staying longer, he simply felt empty; his walls already coming back up in fear of imminent betrayal in the form of abandonment. "Waspinator tired." Was his final announcement as he pulled his field securely into himself before approaching the nest and laying back down, uncaring if his bad mood was noticed as he offlined his optics and awaited the empty abyss of recharge. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I nearly got kicked out of my house on top of everything else so, I'm an emotional wreck like Waspie. Woohhoo!


	9. It's A Lonely World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even though he's tried to distance himself emotionally, Waspinator still finds himself interested in Blurr who continues to be kind and seems relatively happier now. Blurr ends up having an insomniac episode while Waspinator has a breakdown. Finally some communication and understanding happens with Blurr offering a deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Depression, nightmares, anxiety, past abuse, loneliness, mild depersonalization, mild suicidal thoughts. 
> 
>  
> 
> Brightside: Comfort and finally some understanding.
> 
> Beta-read by the lovely EarlyMorningMassacre!

      Blurr waited patiently for the Space Bridge to come back around but while the days passed, he easily noticed the emotional distance unexpectedly set between him and the techno-organic. The hybrid seemed farther than ever which was increasingly frustrating since he had already come to terms with his own feelings. Still, he tried to be tolerant of the mood shift for the time being as the other mech had previously done with him. Though, the longer the detachment went on the more his worries increased. Finally deeming it more than a normal bad mood, he began trying to think of what he'd done wrong. 

       Simply asking was completely out of the question since he had no doubt he wouldn't receive an answer. Trying to cheer up the larger mech also got him nowhere, only earning him a raised optic ridge and the cold shoulder. He had no idea what to do and no idea what he did. Helping as much as he could having little effect as well and he briefly pondered the thought of the techno-organic feeling like the duty was stolen, but that didn't seem likely. Besides, when the Energon was delivered was one of the only communicative interactions they had, even if he didn't receive much more than a 'thanks'. The avoidance was probably the worst.

       Like now, as the sun started to set and all the speedster could do was pace since he was sick of being cooped up in the empty cave. He could clearly see Waspinator who was sitting on the edge of the cliff, a place he could be caught frequenting more often lately. Legs dangling over the side, he did nothing but stare into space with this constantly puzzled look on his faceplate, as if having an inner conflict. It would seem he was too deep in thought to notice the approaching mech who quietly sat beside him. 

       "What-are-you-thinking-about? If-you-don't-mind-my-asking." The smaller mech asked, startling him out of his thoughts.

        "Nothing." He responded, purposefully looking the opposite way to avoid looking at the other.

       Blurr couldn't help the aggravated sigh he released as he sat back, swinging his legs as he puffed out one cheek. "Concocting-more-ways-to-ignore-me-further-then." The techno-organic finally looked at him.

       "...Waspinator...Not ignoring Blur-bot." A blatant lie. 

       "Well-what-are-you-doing-then-exactly? Because-it-seems-very-much-to-me-like-you-are-avoiding-me-and-I-know-a-thing-or-two-about-being-unwelcomed." He crossed his arms but continued to swing his legs. 

       "...Waspinator...Not ignoring Blur-bot..." Said mech repeated himself, looking away again as he began to wring his servos. 

       Blurr returned to sitting back on his servos and stuck out his glossa, making a strange noise showing his disapproval to that response, though he didn't supply one of his own. An awkward silence hung in the air as neither of them made a move to continue or start a conversation. Still, he didn't allow that to get to him as he decided to turn his attention to enjoying the sunset instead. The warm rays bouncing off of his plating felt delightful and his optics dilated as he took in the beautiful mix of colours. Smiling softly, his optics followed the paths forged by the streaks of colour before being broken out of his short-lived daze by accidentally kicking the other mech with a swinging pede. Instantly he stopped moving his lower limbs and placed his servos in his lap like a sparkling waiting to be scolded. 

       Waspinator moved his own pede out of the way, crossing his legs on the opposite side despite not actually seeming annoyed by the accident. He made no comment and there was a tense silence. Letting it hang for a bit, he finally decided to retaliate and slowly bumped his pede against the speedster's before quickly looking away as he returned to his previous position. He could see the bewildered expression out of the corner of his optic and tried to suppress a growing smirk as he continued to look in a different direction. 

       Squinting at him, Blurr caught the slight smug smile and in turn purposefully gently kicked the hybrid again before also putting on an air of innocence as he copied the other's position. The tap was returned and within moments their pedes were in a war. Finally ending in a giggling fit from him over the utter ridiculousness of it all. Which gave him enough confidence to turn to the larger bot. "So-does-this-mean-you-will-finally-stop-'not ignoring'-me?" He asked, crossing his arms before uncrossing them, doing the quotation gesture. Though, he never received an answer as his processor stalled when he lowered his servo to rest it against the ground that wasn't there and unexpectedly tipped over the ledge. Thankfully he didn't fall far as the techno-organic's instincts were sound and he was instantly grabbed, being scooped back up in one fluid motion before he could even really register what just happened.

Once his processor caught up, he blinked in shock finding himself pressed flush against his saviour's chassis; both of them in-venting heavily.  

       "Blur-bot okay?" Waspinator questioned, still holding the speedster who nodded numbly in response. 

       "It-would-seem-this-planet-doesn't-like-me." Blurr chuckled as he slowly got out of the compromising position. Something he mildly regretted doing as once he did so it was like a switch was flipped inside of the hybrid. The worry in those purple optics returned to the forced indifference as he broke away. He hesitated while moving but the other mech was already back to being cold. 

       "It good Blur-bot okay. Waspinator is tired now, goodnight." Waspinator abruptly stood up and walked into the cave, ignoring any protests that were made. He was relieved to find he wasn't followed as he laid down in his nest and tried to suppress the guilt clawing at his spark. His resolve wavered but he was determined to remain closed off, he wouldn't allow himself to be hurt again. Even if he really, really liked this mech...A lot.  

 

_        Servos extended from all different directions; which wasn't usually a threatening gesture but the sheer multitude of them caused great alarm. They grabbed him in unison, leaving no room for escape as he was bound. Pleas were useless here and he didn't bother releasing any as he was dragged down. Still, he struggled as he was slowly consumed by the darkness. Trying desperately to claw his way to the surface did nothing as he sunk further inside of himself. Pressure joined the flurry of sensations as it felt like he was being pulled into a vat of oil. His voice box refused to work and his limbs felt heavy, words from his past beginning to echo through the emptiness and became a sudden roar of sensory overload. Fear welled up as memories from long ago sprung to the surface. He tried to cover his audio receptors, tried to block it all out but more servos joined in holding him down, trapping his arms to his sides.  _

_        "No! I'm innocent, I swear!" Wasp's voice rung out, giving a sense of familiarity paired with dysphoria as it was not coming from his own vocalizer. 'Let him go!' he wanted to yell, further alienating himself from his past self. No matter how hard he tried though, nothing came out. He couldn't move, couldn't speak, and all he could hear and see were the sins of his past. Causing him to collapse from the weight of it all. "No!" _

 

       "-No." Waspinator was barely online as he was mercilessly shaken awake. The speedster had been calling his name and it took him a while to get his bearings. Once he did, he instantly jumped away from the contact. "Blur-bot not touch Waspinator!" 

       Blurr raised his servos and sat back to respect the hybrid's personal space. He desperately wanted to help, to comfort, but all he could do was offer a calming EM field which he was still hesitant to do. Silence ensued, excluding the distressed buzzing and heavy venting from the techno-organic. As his worry increased, he finally made up his mind and carefully extended his field. There were no protests as it gently made contact with the larger mech's own, so he pushed on, carefully encompassing the shaking mech with calm/reassurance/comfort. He was greeted by chaos from the other mech's field with too many negative emotions clashing together at once that a single one was simply too hard to distinguish from the rest. Still, he continued to try to be a grounding point through it all simply with his presence. 

       They stayed that way for a while though it was clear the emotional turmoil was weighing heavily on Waspinator. Continuing to tremble, his frame slowly began leaning towards the source of comfort as he unconsciously began sinking to the floor. He felt hollow yet a storm grew in his spark. The one feeling trumping it all was utter exhaustion, physically, emotionally, and mentally. He wanted it to just be over, no more nightmares; awake or asleep. And above all, he didn't want to be alone anymore. 

       "...Waspinator...Sorry..." He mumbled out after a great deal of silence. Confusion flickered through the speedster's field but no elaboration was requested as he continued. "Waspinator is angry bot and bad with words but Waspinator also lonely. Waspinator was ignoring Blur-bot and Waspinator sorry."

       "You-are-upset-because-I-said-I-want-to-leave." Blurr stated, finally understanding what was going on. "I-didn't-mean-right-away!" He exclaimed, hesitantly reaching out to touch the other bot.

   Waspinator wanted desperately to lean into the gesture but instead, he looked away from those worried optics in shame. "Waspinator selfish." He muttered, staring at his servos as he clenched and unclenched them. 

       Blurr didn't dignify that with an answer and waited for the techno-organic to continue, unsure of how to respond anyway. He bit his bottom derma as he too was conflicted on what to do or say. Despite how much he talked, he wasn't the greatest in social situations; especially this kind. "I-don't-think-you're-selfish-for-wanting-company. It's-lonely-out-in-this-universe-and-having-another-bot-to-talk-to-is-preferable-to-a-lifetime-of-solitude." 

       "...Waspinator not want to be alone anymore." Said mech finally faced the other bot, who could now see there was fluid welling up in his violet optics. "Waspinator not want to..." He shook his helm as tears began freely flowing and violently wiped them away, angry at himself for allowing such a weakness. Who cared if he cried? How he felt? The speedster would no doubt leave him now. 

       "Hey, hey-." Blurr reached out and stopped the larger mech, gently holding primary servos. The hybrid ceased but now refused to look at him again, helm ducked down. As frustrating as that was, that gave the perfect opportunity for him to carefully grasp the other bot's chin to face him. "My-leaving-is-not-up-for-debate. I-have-a-duty-to-my-fellow-Cybertronains-that-I-can't-simply-shrug-off..." He made sure to clarify, his response prompted Waspinator to sink further into himself. Blurr continued though; "-But, you-still-have-a-chance-to-convince-me-to-return-once-I-finish. One-can-do-a-lot-in-a-week-given-how-you-use-it." He easily noticed the cautious hope growing in the techno-organic at his words and rewarded it with a smile. Receiving a slow but brief nod in understanding, he nodded back and offered the option of an embrace. 

       Waspinator took it, hesitantly yet still desperately leaning into the smaller mech as his helm was patted and antennae were softly stroked. The sigh of relief that rattled his frame was louder than he meant it to be but he was far past caring as he tiredly rested his chin on the other bot's lap. His recharge cycle had been interrupted and as his tears dried he found himself having trouble keeping his optics online. His systems hummed as the calming ministrations continued, lulling him back to half asleep. He was briefly aware of the speedster shifting, laying down and carefully moving his helm to rest on top of the blue mech's torso. Though the touches soon returned once they were in a better position. Glancing up at Blurr, it was clear he would not be recharging tonight as he was obviously wide awake. Still, he didn't seem to mind if the large bot recharged partially on him so, worries now cast aside; Waspinator offlined his optics. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got to me a bit. Whoops


	10. The Bitch Came Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blurr has some suspicions to which he begins to push for answers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Anxiety, triggers?
> 
>  
> 
> Brightside: Cuddling, Clingy Waspinator because he cares.
> 
>  
> 
> Beta-read by the lovely person that is EarlyMorningMassacre!

       "Is Blur-bot sure?" Waspinator asked as he stood just in the mouth of the cave, shifting his weight from pede to pede. 

"I'm-sure-and-I-promise-I'll-be-back-before-the-night-cycle,-you-really-don't-need-to-worry."  

       "Blur-bot have extra Energon?" He continued questioning the smaller mech who was clearly equally as anxious. 

       "Yes, I've-already-received-it-and-no-I-don't-want-or-need-anymore, thank-you." Blurr wanted to explore some of the planet to help increase his stamina and hopefully bring his speed back to his natural levels. Not to mention he would like to get a better understanding of the terrain and ease his instinctual curiosity. Some time separated might also do the mechs some good. 

       "Blur-bot have Waspinator's comm frequency?" In case of an emergency of course. 

       : Yes : He responded via said frequency. 

       The techno-organic sighed but accepted it with a nod. "Blur-bot stay safe." 

       "I-will-I-will, see-you-soon. I'll-make-sure-not-to-talk-to-any-mysterious-bots-on-the-way." Blurr teased, earning him a glare.

       "Blur-bot remember to stay away from spider-bot."

"No-going-in-the-direction-of-the-forest-in-the-North-West-region-yes-yes, I-got-it. I'm-going-to-leave-now." He began walking, uttering a few goodbyes as he set some distance between them. The concern was appreciated, but he all too happily began a light jog as he was eager to begin his journey before nightfall befell upon them.

       Though a 'light jog' for him had him out of sight within minutes as he headed towards the forest he had previously been in while scavenging for Energon. Having already seen most of it he didn't spare the scenery more than a second glance. Still, as he headed further into the forest he finally began to slow down and take in the unfamiliar surroundings. Pulling the Energon out of his subspace he walked and refueled while he continued to look around. He couldn't help himself from comparing planets again as this planet still looked so earthly to him. 

All things considered, he didn't mind Earth all that much, he'd probably rate it his fifth favourite planet. The fourth would have to be a dwarf planet in the Zaxja galaxy, he could never remember the name of it but he had some good memories there. He'd have to rate this one as his third favourite and not so surprisingly Cybertron was second. His all-time favourite planet to visit was Velocitron, what speedster didn't love visiting the speed planet? Whenever he got vacation time that was his go-to planet. Quite frankly, thinking about it had him missing Velocitron more than Cybertron.

       That wasn't something he wanted to think about though, so he subspaced the empty cube and instead focused on his destination. He felt a bit guilty as he looked behind him before abruptly turning once he knew he wasn't being followed. He lied to the techno-organic but he needed answers and after the breakthrough yesterday he knew not to push his luck with questioning Waspinator. So, as the path rounded out Blurr was on his way to the North West area.  

       He made sure to stay where he was covered in case he was being followed from the air. If he was caught he wasn't sure he'd know what to say but he determinedly pressed on. Making sure it looked like he was heading in a different direction seemed to work and as he looked around more he could confirm he wasn't followed. Betraying trust wasn't a moral decision on his part, but the only other bot that could possibly offer answers was that femme from before. He did not like or trust her in any way, shape or form, but he knew he wouldn't be able to fully trust the green mech until someone shed some light on what's going on. Now, hopefully, she would be willing to answer questions. That is if he can find her lair and if she's even in it. 

       His walking slowed slightly at the realization of all these dilemmas and ifs; not to mention it was possible for Waspinator to be there as well. He'd already delivered Energon so it seemed unlikely he'd be there for business but that didn't completely rule out the possibility. 

Oh, Blurr felt like an idiot for not having planned things out more. Still, he refused to allow himself to be dissuaded so easily and proceeded on as he considered escape plans for each of those scenarios plus more. Really, he just needed to clear his processor and focus on the task at hand but winging it wasn't his strong suit; though there was always room for improvement. 

       Clearly, this would be put to the test as he barely made it a few more steps before he stumbled forward. Webbing suddenly wrapped around him, trapping his arms to his sides as he fell face first onto the ground. Panic quickly set in as he found himself immobile yet again. 

       "Well, well, well, what do we have here?" A feminine voice drawled, sending shivers up the trapped mech's spinal strut. 

       He could hear casual pede-steps circling his downed frame and began to struggle against his confines. The malleable substance only seemed to stretch with his movements before constricting again. His core temperature began to slowly rise as his vents snapped shut. His spark started to race as anxiety steadily consumed him, though it was not courtesy of his current company. He struggled harder against the organic substance as he tried to remain calm, unsuccessfully circulating air through his intake. "Letmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeout." Legs kicking, this became a chant as he found himself becoming dizzy, his frame overheating yet still feeling so cold. Warnings flashed in his HUD but he could barely focus on them as his vision became bleary and his processor swam. 

       Blackarachnia watched the agent panic for a bit longer with an optic ridge raised. "Alright, alright." As much as she'd rather not release her prey, it would be much easier to talk to the mech if he calmed the frag down. Autobots, always so dramatic. Though, he clearly didn't hear her as he continued to thrash and hyperventilate. With a roll of her optics, she slashed the constraints before pushing the mech onto his back with an uninterested pede. 

       Despite being freed, he was so amped up all he could do was lay there and try to wind himself back down. The femme was becoming increasingly impatient. "So, did you just come here to cry at my doorstep? What the frag do you want?" Honestly, and she thought she was a crybaby sometimes. What was this mech's problem? 

       Blurr in-vented deeply and focused on the question as he picked himself up. "...I-had-some-questions..-that-I-hoped-you-could-answer." 

       Blackarachnia had to take a moment to process the response before she raised an optic ridge. "That makes two of us."

       "Then-I-believe-proper-introductions-are-in-order. The-names-Blurr." The mech had to pause after saying his designation, it'd been a while. 

       "...Blackarachnia." The femme replied slowly, eyeing him as he shifted seemingly trying to stay in constant motion; even the slightest bit. The name made sense. 

       Usually, a 'nice to meet you' was in order but, quite frankly, it really wasn't all that nice to meet her. He cast a wary glance towards the trees in which she'd ambushed him from.

       "So, telling from that fact you're here, I assume you've considered my proposition to become a techno-organic?" Blackarachnia assumed wrong. 

       "No." Answered, coming off firm, easily understood and to the point. Maybe Waspinator really was rubbing off on him.

       The femme was none too pleased by that response though as she glared. "Why are you here then? My time is precious and you're wasting it."

       "I have some questions." He repeated for probably the second time, very slowly to make sure she got it. 

       She rolled her optics before waving a servo. "Yes, yes, ask away. I'm an open book." 

       Sarcasm, well if she wasn't going to understand half of what he said then he could pretend to extend the courtesy. "Well-I-couldn't-help-noticing-that-you-and-Waspinator-seem-to-have-a-bit-of-history-so-I-was-wondering-about-that." 

       Her response was delayed as she processed what he had to say before she began to smirk. "He hasn't told you a thing, has he?" It was the speedster's turn to scowl but the shake of his helm answered regardless. She slid into his personal space, her grin growing. "My, I guess that means he likes me more," She drawled, getting closer as the mech leaned back. "A little touch here, a smile or two and he fell helm over heels for me." Gestures emphasized her words as she reached out and rubbed under his chin before swaying behind him, keeping a servo on his shoulder as she did. Constant contact and increasingly closer, her EM field coiled around him, ratcheting up his dwindling anxiety all over again. 

       Blurr moved away from the intrusive field which was clearly looking for something. Though, by the look on her faceplate, she had already found it. "Oh, don't be jealous, all the mechs fall for me." 

       "You-may-want-to-recheck-that-estimation." 

       She actually laughed at his quip before pinching his cheek. "Give it time." 

       "Unlikely. So-are-you-going-to-answer-my-question-or-not?" 

       She hummed, seeming to ponder. "Mmm, or not." Though her optics did light up as an idea struck her. "...Unless you do something for me." 

       He seemed skeptical but dared to ask. "What-would-that-be?" 

       "It's a struggle to live off of the small amounts of Energon I receive. He refuses to give me more...unless it's tainted, I know about that by the way. And after all I've done for him! The little oil spill has never been all that appreciative..." She shook her helm as she realized she was getting off topic. "I'd like you to give the Energon converter to me." 

       "No." He didn't even hesitate. He'd seen how much Energon she was given and although it wasn't a comfortable or ideal amount it was still plenty more than he'd give anyone he didn't like. Not to mention he wasn't stupid, he wasn't going to endanger both his and Waspinator's lives over some, in hindsight, needless answers. 

       "Good luck getting those answer then. Really, good luck," Blackarachnia mocked, transforming into a giant spider. "I'll see you around, Blurr." With that she left, prompting him to do the same.

       The sun began to sink below the horizon as the night cycle began its approach. Just in time too as Blurr silently made his way into the cave. He'd thought about what Blackarachnia had said the entire walk. 'Little oil spill' kept repeating itself. More specifically  _ little  _ is what stuck out to him. Though, it could've just been over exaggerated it kept nagging at him, but he shook it from his processor as he entered.

Instantly, an optic ridge was raised as he spotted Waspinator laying on his back near the flowers. His optics were offlined, his arms rested on his chassis, and he looked content. Though, the smaller mech obviously unintentionally interrupted as he peaked an optic open, "Hello." 

       "What-are-you-doing?" Blurr asked, now standing over the techno-organic who opened both optics and glanced to the flowers before replying. 

       "Aromatherapy?" 

       "Oh," He acknowledged before gesturing to the spot beside the larger bot. "Well,-mind-if-I-join-you?" He really needed some of that after the day he had. 

       Waspinator shrugged before closing his optics again returning to his relaxation and paying no mind to the shuffling as the speedster laid down beside him; being careful not to squish the splayed out wings which twitched when brushed.

       Once comfortable Blurr offlined his optics as well, letting the sweet aroma from the flowers wash over his olfactory sensor. Silence ensued for a while as the sun continued to set, the last specks of sunset slowly turning to purple before gradually to black as stars appeared. Surprisingly though he wasn't the first one to start a conversation. 

       "How was Blur-bot's walk?" The techno-organic asked, slightly startling said mech.

"Oh,-very-enlightening-and-I-can't-help-noting-how-big-everything-is-on-this-planet. It's-strange-for-organic-life,-or-at-least-I-think-so..." Blurr responded, though he quickly followed up when he noticed the slight edge to his tone. "Thank-you-for-trusting-me." Actually, that just made him feel guilty now. In hindsight, betraying that trust hadn't actually been worth it but what was done was done. 

       "Waspinator knows Blur-bot is curious bot." 

       He tried to reel in that guilt though as he onlined his optics to look at the larger mech. "And-I-still-am. Curious-I-mean, I'm-still-curious." His response caused the hybrid to sigh loudly.

       "...What does Blur-bot want to know?" Waspinator hesitantly asked, covering his optics with a primary arm as he released another softer sigh. 

"Well-for-one,-I-still-want-to-know-why-you-call-my-Blurbot-instead-of-just-Blurr.-It-seems-redundant-to-add-the-extra-'bot'-to-my-name.-But-I-also-want-to-know-more-about-you,-you-don't-tell-my-anything." 

       "Waspinator didn't know that bugged Blurr-b-...Waspinator didn't know." He uncovered his faceplate and looked at the smaller bot. 

       Blurr shrugged since he had kind of grown used to it but after the encounter with Blackarachnia, he was reminded of it. He didn't want to forget himself here. Though, he didn't allow himself to dwell on that too much as he easily noticed the techno-organic was trying to distract him again. "It's-not-that-important,-but-I-do-want-to-know-more-about-you." 

       "It's getting late." Waspinator pointed out as he glanced passed the speedster and into the coming darkness. 

       It was Blurr's turn to sigh noisily at the other mech; honestly he wasn't sure what else he expected. "Will-you-at-least-tell-me-why-you-won’t-tell-me?" With the amount of dentae he had to pull to get even the smallest of answers, he could become a dentist. 

       "Waspinator knows Blur-b-Blurr will hate Waspinator." The larger mech muttered out before getting up to lay down in the nest. 

       "Unless-you're-Megatron-or-Shockwave-in-disguise-I-highly-doubt-it." He sat up as well and tried to be reassuring. He was confident in his suspicions and he was fairly certain he wouldn't hate Waspinator if that revelation was correct. 

       "Waspinator not want to talk about it tonight." 

       Blurr watched the other mech lay down and got up to join as he hadn't recharged last night. "Will-you-talk-about-it-in-the-morning-then?" He questioned as he laid down as well. 

       "...Fine." Waspinator grunted, deciding he'd allow one last ditch effort at trusting someone. He'd held out long enough, as last time he'd told Blackarachnia his secret within a few hours without much prompting. The Elite Guard Agent deserved to finally know the truth after so many weeks. If he was to be betrayed again, he'd never trust another mech, ever. That didn't keep the growing anxiety and anticipation down though.

       "I'll-hold-you-to-it." The speedster remarked, hesitantly shuffling closer to the bigger bot. 

       "Waspinator knows." Waspinator groaned out quietly before accepting the questioning proximity by pulling the smaller mech closer. 

       Blurr only laughed softly before partially resting his helm on the green mech's chassis. He reached up and rubbed under the techno-organic's chin before offlining his optics, ignoring the lingering hints of anxiety over the close contact. "...I-wont-hate-you." He mumbled as both a reassurance to the hybrid and as a mental note to steel himself for the coming answers. 

       "Maybe." Waspinator murmured, preparing himself for the worst scenarios as he slowly shut his systems down one by one. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (The Zaxja galaxy is just a little easter egg from some of my original writing XD I don't want to confuse anyone since the other places are TF canon)


	11. A Secret Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Attack of the giant rat! Finally Waspinator opens up about his past, no longer wishing to conceal his true identity. Blurr listens intently and gains a better understanding of the other mech, releasing tension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Talk of past trauma, Possible power imbalance? (Idk one bot heavily feels like he owes the other) 
> 
> Brightside: Cuddles!
> 
>  
> 
> Also Beta-read!

 

      Waspinator was awoken by the sound of scratching, which prompted him to online his optics in confusion. Rubbing the sleep from his optics, he looked down at the speedster who was still peacefully recharging tucked into his side. Now that wasn't something he wanted to ruin by getting up. So, he slowly laid back down and prepared to return to recharge, but was interrupted once again by that scratching noise.

       Releasing a quiet sigh, he lifted his helm and looked around to properly search for the source. His vision was bleary but soon locked on a large fuzzy form. It felt like his spark went up into his throat as he jumped from fright as the giant organic came at the two resting bots. 

       Blurr was unexpectedly jostled awake by the techno-organic yelping in surprise and then suddenly taking him for a ride as the bot decided the best course of action would be to take flight. Barely awake and he was already practically fifty feet off the ground as they took refuge behind a stalactite. With a loud groan and an onlining of his optics, he was finally aware enough to seek out the cause of the commotion. Looking below them, he noticed an oversized organic species that he sometimes came across on Earth, though rodents were miniaturized there; or maybe this rat was just freakishly big. He turned to the hybrid who was clutching onto him for dear life, flattering that the other mech's first instinct was to protect him as well, but this was ridiculous! The rat's unarmed and harmless but still had a bot twice its size, shaking like a leaf. It took all of his willpower not to give the green mech a disapproving  _ 'really?' _ look. 

       "Alright, I-would-like-to-be-put-down-if-you-don't-mind." He had to wave his servo to get those violet optics locked off of the furry menace. 

       "Blurr-b...should stay with Waspinator, safe."

       Eloquently put, it would seem he'd have to settle for the name Blurb, who was perhaps a little salty over being so rudely and suddenly awoken over this. Though, when he did cross his arms and shoot the larger mech a look, his request finally received results as he was hesitantly put back down on solid ground.

       Of course Waspinator instantly shot back up to his hiding spot once the speedster had touched the floor. Still, he watched with increasing worry as the bot walked right up to the rat. The organic didn't do much more than sniff around before it was picked up by the small mech and casually carried out of the cave. Despite this, he continued to refuse to move. His nervous buzzing echoed through the cave as he waited for the Agent to return, hopefully in one piece. 

       Blurr walked back inside once he'd put the rat a fair distance away from the cave, even if the accomplishment was measly he was still self-satisfied as he rubbed his servos together. He looked up to where the hybrid was hiding. "You-can-come-down-now. The-rat-has-been-dealt-with." A long helm peaked out from behind the jutted rock structure, seeming hesitant to return to the ground. Though after a short amount of looking around, finally two sets of pedes rested on the floor. "Now, since-we're-both-now-online-I-think-it-is-about-time-I-get-some-answers," He began and instantly had to stop the larger mech from flying right back into that unreachable hiding spot. "You-promised-me." He reminded, shaking his helm. 

       "Well, Waspinator didn't  _ promise. _ .." Waspinator pointed out, receiving a disapproving look and another cross of the arms from the Elite Guard agent. "...Okay, okay...Just, Waspinator needs a nano." 

       Skeptical, Blurr raised an optic ridge but decided he would allow it. The techno-organic knew flying away would result in forever tarnishing his trust and quite frankly, he needed to extend it since this clearly took a lot of trust for the other mech as well. Who once given a nod, quickly scurried out of the cave. Now it was time to wait.

       Giving Waspinator the benefit of the doubt actually appeared to be the right choice as he reappeared after having clearly steeled himself for what was to come. Their entire relationship was at stake in his optics and he couldn't stop shifting, wanting to flee and avoid the possible conflict. Tension had certainly built and neither of them sure what to say; voice boxes onlining before offlining simultaneously. 

       Blurr was the first to finally break the silence. "I've-already-disclosed-that-no-matter-your-true-identity-I-won't-hate-you." He reminded, deciding to grab a cube of Energon for both of them might help ease things.

       The techno-organic only nodded numbly in acknowledgment. "Waspinator appreciates Blurr's understanding. Waspinator will tell Blurr everything." Taking a sip of his Energon, he motioned for the other mech to take a seat who thankfully did without much prompting. He knew the hesitation was what would get him so, he relented his stalling, deciding he'd rather show and then tell. Pacing around a bit, he in-vented deeply to calm his growing nerves. His t-cog released a broken whine, concerning the speedster but he continued with the transformation regardless of the pinch and pang of pain. Plating folded in on itself as his size gradually downgraded into a smaller form, specifically that of a Minibot frame type. "Waspinator is Wasp." Even the sound of his voice had changed slightly. 

       "I-knew-it!" Blurr's exclamation startled the other mech who wasn't expecting such a reaction. "Well,-I-didn't- _ know _ -it-per-se," He stood up and began walking back and forth in front of the stunned bot. "But-I-did-have-a-hunch-and-between-the-colour-scheme, vocal-pattern, the-name-was-definitely-a-dead-give-away."

       "Blurr knew?"

       "Essentially. Regardless-you-weren't-painstakingly-obvious-which-your-file-did-say-you-were-quite-crafty-and-skilled-that'sacomplimentbytheway. Still-after-spending-much-time-with-you-I-do-note-that-you're-certainly-not- _ the _ -double-agent-you-were-accused-of-being,  _ my _ -personal-experience-aside. That-doesn't-completely-eliminate-the-possibility-of-you-being-one-but-I-would-say-it's-highly-doubtful," He realized he was quickly entering problematic territory and getting further from the point of the conversation. "Not-that-I-would-or-could-arrest-you-if-you-were-one, it-would-be-pointless-and-I-would-be-much-more-likely-to-defend-you-in-this-point-of-time."

Still, the _currently_ shorter mech made a face. "Wasp isn't a double agent but, thanks."

It was so surreal for the speedster, looking at Wasp instead of Waspinator but logically knowing they were the same bot. Blurr wanted to know more but if he was to ever find out he needed to sit his aft down and stop interrupting. He did just that, offlining his vocalizer completely for extra measure. He was prone to being chatty when curious and excited, which he was definitely the latter since he loved being right. 

       Wasp looked uneasy as it finally dawned on him that there would be no more distractions, he had to come out and say what he needed to say; no turning back now. So, he began pacing and started from the beginning of when his life began going to the pit, Autobot boot camp. A small amount of pride bubbled up as he talked about his accomplishments, his skill, the plans he had for his future, though as his story progressed the brief glimpse at his old self was quashed once again as everything he'd done well was overshadowed by another bot's one mistake. Really, in hindsight, that had been such a small point in his life. 

       That's when things became harder to talk about and he had to take a seat, suddenly feeling weak. He could feel dread rising in his chest as memories resurfaced, a number of times he'd protested his innocence but no one had listened. There was no proof outside of a well placed, clearly sabotage device of Decepticon origin. They didn't care though, of course they didn't. The hope was what really tore him down,  _ of course _ , they'd find out he was framed and let him get back to his old life because he was for Primus sake! Over fifty years later and nothing.  _ He _ was nothing; long forgotten by society who was unaware of his undeserving imprisonment and torture. 

       Once he started talking about what was done to him in the stockades his voicebox started to glitch out as he held back tears. Suppressed memories returned and he described every single one. Sensations accompanied the memories, causing him to practically gag at the reminder of the smell. No one ever talks about what hell smells like and it does, but the cold was what he could currently feel deep in his circuitry. He hadn't even been this thorough with Blackarachnia, having pretty well given her a sixty-second synopsis, but he wanted it all out now. Didn't want to hold onto his past anymore and suffer through it, he wanted someone to know.

       It would seem that someone would be Blurr who opened his arms to the distressed mech, offering any comfort that he could, which was unhesitatingly accepted. Wasp wanted to congratulate himself on only crying once as he held onto the blue mech while talking about the various methods of torture by so many different bots of multiple factions. Though once the fluid started falling, he just couldn't quite get it to stop. Half of what he was uttering was most likely barely distinguishable by now as the weight of everything turned out to be more than he could handle. His pauses to sob were only met with further comfort offered and hugs, that being was the only thing truly getting him through reliving his past. 

_ Years _ of anguish were summed up within a few hours and it had clearly taken a lot out of him. Emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion greeted him, leading to verbal exhaustion as well. He was practically slumped in the speedster's lab and he'd trailed off for a final time, having finished at the point where he put himself back together on this very planet.

        Nothing was said between the two bots and he began to fall into recharge, some of his systems giving him critical warnings about overheating and stress on his frame. Dismissing the warnings, he offlined his optics and in-vented heavily, his frame shaking despite his spark feeling empty and numb. Regardless, he actually felt light, like the weight had finally been taking off just by talking about it. Of course he wouldn't wake up and things would instantly be better, but the Elite Guard agent wasn't disgusted or hateful towards him, quite the opposite actually, and his subconsciousness was almost soothed by the thought of not being quite so alone now. 

       Blurr looked down at the green Minibot in his lap, gently stroking the mech's helm crest. His thoughts were racing but he still did not say anything despite the fact he'd onlined his vocalizer to comfort. It would be best to let the exhausted bot rest since he had a lot to think about himself. Such as the fact that he believed all of it, every single thing. He was given a fairly clear idea of what happened to Decepticon's and double agents, but hearing them applied to an innocent bot really put things in perspective. Honestly, any disgust he felt was towards himself and the actions of his faction. Here he was having nightmares over one event meanwhile this small mech had been through hell and back, he couldn't bear to imagine the nightmares plaguing the poor bot's dreams.

       Sighing softly, he tried not to disturb the recharging mech as he carefully got up. Wanting to do something,  _ anything _ , to ease his guilt and get his processor off of the onslaught of distressing information, he looked around the room. There was nothing to clean, all the Energon was converted and they didn't need anymore at the moment, quite frankly he wasn't sure what to do. His optics landed on the flowers and decided watering them would be a start. Of course he remembered why the flora was there in the first place. The other mech had done so much for him, how was he ever going to repay that? It was impossible. 

       Once the flowers were watered he leaned against the cave wall, contemplating what he could possibly do. Saving his life was already such a large debt to pay off but nursing him back to health twice, what the frag was he supposed to do? Well, from now on he could start paying attention to Wasp/ Waspinator's needs; it was about time he was cared for. 

       Speaking of, it'd only been a few minutes since Blurr moved and already the presently shorter mech was growing restless. Pushing off the wall, he rushed to comfort, getting onto his knees and quietly shushing as he returned to the gentle touches from before. As the bot gradually began to settle with each careful brush, he laid down alongside the other. Slowly he wrapped his arms around the smaller frame, resting his helm against the top of the other mech's helm. Practically using his own body as a shield, he watched as Wasp fully settled back down once delicately pulled closer. "I-will-come-back, -and-I'll-try-everything-in-my-power-to-make-things-right. I-promise." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like an idiot, I've posted all of my pre-written chapters so that's one reason this one took longer than I wanted it to. I'll have to try to build those back up so I can have a steady posting schedule. Next, after y e a r s, so m a n y years of fighting for one, I've finally gotten a snake! Saying I am excited is an understatement but all I've had is snake on the brain so it's been hard for me to focus on anything not snake related, let alone writing. Overall after two shitty months, May is looking up so hopefully my mood will improve enough for me to get motivated to write as well! Though the comments I've gotten about this story definitely keep me going! So, thank you all!


	12. The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's 3 in the morning and I have to get up at 9 A.M. I'm too tired for a summary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Anxiety, depersonalization, brief talk of past trauma.
> 
>  
> 
> Brightside: Hurt/Comfort, Silliness,Cuddling, Depersonalization coping method.
> 
>  

       Blurr had gone for a long run to increase his stamina and finally got back. His vents still wheezed a bit as he slowed to a walk. Evening was gradually ending as the night cycle would soon be beginning; he hadn't meant to be out nearly that long. Regardless, he wasn't too bothered as there was no true curfew for either of them, only decency. Clearly that would be tested though as he paused when hearing a loud buzzing sound. 

       Stopping just before entering the cave, he listened to the noise. Usually he'd brush it off as just the techno-organic being frustrated or something, but this was a different sound and seemed to hold...numbers. Hesitantly he began to enter the cavern, concern written all over his faceplate. Though once he saw what was going on, concern quickly morphed into confusion as he watched the other mech sitting on the floor surrounded by bees and holding a giant bee hive. He was at a loss for words and once he was spotted the two of them just stared at each other. 

       Waspinator was the first to break the overall silence. "Blurr want some?" He asked, cracking open the nest and releasing more bees. 

       "No-thank-you-I-think-I'll-just-settle-for-some-Energon." The aforementioned mech shook his helm, swatting at a few buzzing insects as he grabbed a cube. Though he hesitated once again, eyeing the compact metal cube that still rested there. Deciding to take that as well, he sat down with the larger bot, two different cubes in hand. 

       Waspinator didn't comment as the agent inspected the dead metal block, choosing instead to gorge himself on his own meal. Being half organic he could enjoy organic food sources in large amounts even if it was unneeded. Honey was certainly a rare but delicious treat. Though he felt bad as the speedster looked at the crushed cube solemnly and once again offered some of the golden liquid. 

       Broken out of his down spiralling thoughts, Blurr decided taking the offer couldn't hurt. He added a small amount of honey to his Energon, enough to sweeten but not enough to gunk up his internals. That seemed to satisfy the hybrid who uncaringly took bites out of the waxy shell while he picked a few bugs out of his drink before quietly refuelling. Obviously he hadn't've been distracted long as once he finished, his attention was back on his offlined frame. 

       "Blurr-b, sorry, Blurr okay?" The techno-organic asked, ignoring the bees trying unsuccessfully to stab their stingers through both Cybertronians' metallic frames. 

       "Are-you-ever-going-to-use-this-for-anything?" He asked as he gestured to the cube, his response not quite answering the question but was an answer regardless. 

       Waspinator hesitated, honey dripping down his chin as he surveyed the situation and tried to guess the best reply to a touchy conversation topic. "...Does Blurr want Waspinator to?"

       "I've-already-said-you-could-and-quite-frankly-I'm-sick-of-looking-at-it-and-being-reminded-of-what-happened. I-want-to-move-on-and-the-best-I-can-offer-is-my-body.-And-I-now-realize-how-that-sounds-and-the-innuendo-is-unintended." 

       "Well, if Blurr wants Waspinator to then Waspinator will figure out something." He was handed the compressed block of previously living metal and decided to get up to put it with the remaining protoform blank in the corner of the room. It was still noticeable but less out in the open until he could find use for it. Sitting back down, he continued to eat the hive, quietly cackling as he ate bees as well. Low key revenge put him in a good mood. 

       "Thank-you." Blurr mumbled before returning to refuelling, notably relieved. 

       The techno-organic nodded in acknowledgement and then they lapsed into silence, finishing their respective meals. Though after a while he slowly began shuffling closer to the taller mech. Hesitantly he leaned on the other, gaining more confidence when the hybrid didn't shrug him off. He relaxed against the large frame and his optics wandered back to his old frame. Contemplating on whether it was to early to talk about that. A soothing EM field brushing against his made up his mind. 

       "Do-you-want-to-know-what-happened-to-me?" He blurted out before he could lose his nerve. "I-am-willing-to-talk-about-it-if-you're-interested-but-I-understand-if-you'd-like-to-go-a-day-without-talking-about-past-baggage." 

       "If Blurr wants to talk then Waspinator will listen." 

       "Are-you-sure? You've-never-asked-about-it-before-and-yesterday-was-probably-stressful-enough." Now he felt like a complete aft for bringing it up because Waspinator explained his past trauma literally yesterday, maybe it was too soon. 

       Holding the other mech's servos in his own, he shook his helm. "Blurr is allowed to talk about it." 

       Crawling into the larger bot's lap, Blurr sighed softly and decided to just get it over with. No more secrets. Hopefully what he had to say would also give the techno-organic some closure as clearly their past traumas coincided a fair bit. Of course he didn't have nearly as many problems as the other mech but when he brought that up he was shushed and told it didn't matter. So he continued, briefly mentioning his daily life on Cybertron and how most bots ignored him unless they needed something done quickly. He'd already known this, but actually telling someone made something that had felt kind of disheartening, all the more real and maybe a bit lonely. Still, he didn't see it as much of a problem, no the actual trouble started on Earth. Back when his mission had been sabotaged and his cover had been forcibly blown.

       Waspinator definitely tensed up when the name of the bot who caused that was accidentally dropped. With a little prompting Blurr kept going though, and only slowed down when his story was approaching the part where he met the real double agent. Needing to take a pause, he hadn't realized how hard it would be to talk about. Sure he clearly hadn't walked away from the attempt on his life without any repercussions; touch, closed in spaces, and the inability to move caused him to panic far more than a normal trapped speedster response. The worst part was the fact that the other mech could tell how bad he was taking it and gradually minimized contact in favour of comforting by intermingling their fields. 

       Once Blurr finished his story and stopped talking, silence proceeded as the hybrid gave him time to recuperate. Really. he was doing the opposite, becoming absolutely exhausted and drained despite the fact he couldn't have been talking for more than ten minutes. 

       "Blurr should recharge." Waspinator of course caught onto this as well. The speedster wanted to disagree, but what was the point in fighting it? 

       Giving in, Blurr nodded and offlined his optics as he cuddled closer to the other mech to signal contact was okay with him. Though he paused, "Is-this-okay?" He asked, unsure if the bigger bot actually wanted to touch him. 

       "Mhm." The techno-organic hummed, holding his servo and gently rubbing it with an opposable digit. 

       He mumbled an 'okay' before sighing softly and letting his exhaustion gradually consume him. 

       Waspinator watched for a little while, guarding the smaller bot against an invisible enemy. Knowing that their paths had intersected in such a way made him all the more protective. Two different bots with completely different frame types and lifestyles both ended up running into the exact same enemies. If only Bumblebot Bumblebee had caught the right mech. It was weird to think that he was telling Waspinator the truth about Longarm but that didn't matter now. If the stupid mech had caught him over fifty years prior then Wasp would've been a free and successful mech while Blurr could have avoided the near death situation completely. At the very least if Bumblebee hadn't sabotaged the  _ Autobot _ agent's mission, the latter point would still remain true. Everything was Bumblebot's fault. 

       Waspinator stopped that train of thought, realizing he was getting angry and might accidentally disturb the recharging speedster. Carefully and slowly, he began untangling their limbs and meshed EM fields. Not that he wanted to, but he had a lot to think about and the other mech needed a good defrag cycle.

       Again, making sure not to wake the sleeping bot, he creeped out of the cave to go to his secluded spot on the edge of the cliff. However, once he sat down his train of thought returned, finishing itself off with the thought that literally everything that was happening was Bumblebee's fault. Even this. If either of those events had been altered then nothing that was happening on this planet would have happened. Waspinator would have never met the speedster, especially under these circumstances. Pit, if they had ended up meeting things could've been much different and probably involve him getting re-arrested on Earth by the Elite Guardsmech. Situations good and bad, either way it is what it is and there were no point in 'what ifs' that could neither solve nor complicate things now. If there was to be no affect on the future, then it didn't matter. 

       Or at least that's what Waspinator tried to tell himself as he realized he was depersonalizing. The anxiety he knew he was feeling felt like a whisper against his spark while it clearly affected the rest of his frame. Locked joints, clamped vents, and erratic EM field which he tried to get under control. Good thing he had the foresight to remove himself. He wouldn't let it consume him though, he refused. 

       Shaking his helm, he forced his vents open and took in a deep invent to try to calm himself. Looking down at his servos, he grabbed his index digit. "This is Wa- _ my _ digit." He uttered, repeating it for each digit. Moving up, he felt his servo, clenching and unclenching it. "My servo." He felt kind of stupid talking to each of his body parts, alone, in the dead of night but surprisingly it was actually working. As he worked his way up to his forearms, it felt like the limbs were being filled with life again after feeling empty. It felt like a more psychological version of when his spark was merging and syncing with the protoform he used. Gradually the frame that had been feeling alien was beginning to feel more comfortable and familiar. As he addressed each part of his frame, he solidified the phrase in his mind. Yes, this part was a piece of  _ him _ , and he is here, he is  _ real _ . 

       Once he'd grounded himself within himself, he finally let himself focus more on his surroundings. He felt the grass between  _ his _ clawed digits. The soft breezing was brushing against  _ his _ frame. He is  _ real _ and he is  _ here _ . It was his optics looking around, he was more than an observer, he was a  _ perceiver _ . He took in all the sights, appreciating every single one and holding onto each feeling. His optics turned to the sky and searched the stars. Then they landed on the Space Bridge. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the ending is a bit rushed. I wanted to go into a bit more detail about the DPing but unfortunately it's a lot harder to describe when I'm not feeling it. Though the coping method is something I've found helps me so, hopefully I explained that well enough. Also as pointless as the little bee hive eating thing is, I laughed every time I wrote something involving it. Bees is just a funny word for me now. 
> 
>  
> 
> Expect angst next chapter.


	13. Rainfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The space bridge comes around finally and its time for Blurr to leave but Waspinator is unwilling to help him get home causing a big fight between them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not a confrontational person, I'm a lot more like Waspinator where I'd prefer to leave the situation. So, this chapter was difficult to write since I don't know how to start a fight XD Critique is always welcomed.
> 
>  
> 
> Beta-read!

      The sky had grown dark as the clouds became heavy before beginning to spit a gentle rainfall. The air had grown cold and windy but even as the elements decided to wage a war, Waspinator was reluctant to move from his spot. He'd watched the night sky turn to a gloomy grey day and knew the weather was mocking his mood. His delicate wings quickly became soaked and weighed him down, but not nearly as much as his spark. Though as the rain steadily began to pick up, he decided to finally get up and head back. 

       Of course the trek was no less painful as he couldn't fly, and soft droplets had turned to bullets of water. The skies cried against his plating as he glanced up at the Space Bridge floating ominously in the planet's atmosphere. He really didn't want to go back. That meant truly facing the reality. Though he truly had no say as he found his pedes had already brought him to the mouth of the cave. A waterfall cascading down the entrance only made the metaphorical feeling of breaching a barrier all the more apparent. Once he crossed that line he couldn't go back out. So, with great hesitation and constant second thoughts, his large frame disturbed the flow of water as he entered his lair. 

       Flaring his wings out, he fluttered them to shake the offending liquid off. It was a lucky thing his home was atop a hill rather than on the bottom or the floor would be flooded rather than damp. Now moderately dry, he was no longer distracted by the task and noticed that the speedster was awake. His spark dropped; there was no avoiding this now. 

       "It's-really-coming-down-out-there. Where-were-you?" Blurr questioned, taking a sip of Energon. 

       All he received was a mumbled response of, "Sorry." which caused him to raise an optic ridge at the unexpected restless attitude. He really hoped the hybrid wasn't trying to hide something again. The rainfall obstructed his view of the outside, but he still glanced at the opening to see if that would give him an answer. There was no indication of any problems aside from the dreary weather but the tension could practically be cut with a knife. His own guard went up instinctively in response, despite doubting this would escalate hostilely. Still, his processor ran through all the scenarios that would cause this moodiness. If the larger mech had had a run in with Blackarachnia it wouldn't be a secret, another techno-organic or Cybertronian arrival may warrant the secrecy but that possibility seemed unlikely so that would mean...The Space Bridge. 

       Now he understood but at the same time, he didn't. They'd thoroughly discussed this situation already, hadn't they? Obviously not, as the other mech stiffened when realizing his revelation. Oh great, clearly this would be a recurring problem. "Waspinator." He uttered with a warning tone, as he had no desire to fight about this once again. 

       Already the aforementioned bot began to sink into himself, inwardly curling his appendages closer to his body and becoming sheepish. No, no, there would be none of that. 

       "You-promised-me-you-would-help-me-get-back-home." 

       "Waspinator didn't  _ promise _ ." Waspinator mumbled quietly, he really hadn't. 

       "DAMN-IT-WASPINATOR!" Blurr yelled, smashing the cube in his servo from his anger fuelled outburst. The other bot flinched as he abruptly stood but he wasn't going to let this slip by from guilt. He had to go home,  _ wanted _ to go home; especially now. And he couldn't damn well do it without the winged mech's help. "We-have-already-discussed-this-and- _ I _ -told- _ you _ -that-I- _ have- _ to- _ leave _ !" He stomped over to the hybrid, poking a digit into the broad green chassis. "I- _ understand- _ you-don't-want-to-be-alone-but-I-also-told-you-that-I-would-come-back! I-wouldn't-be-gone-more-than-a-few-days!" 

       "Blur-bot didn't tell Waspinator that either." Waspinator's voice-box glitched out from stress, he kept avoiding optic contact and instead searched for an escape from this breach of personal space. Of course he could easily overpower the other bot but he wasn't sure he wanted to try given how angry the speedster had become. 

       Blurr nearly faltered over that as he had to think about it but quickly recovered. "Yes-I-did!" Though whether he did or didn't wasn't what was important. "Either-way-you-can't-keep-me-here-against-my-will! Whether-I-decide-to-come-back-or-not." 

       "Blur-bot can find own way then." The techno-organic turned away with a cross of his arms. "If Blur-bot such a smarty-bot then Blur-bot can figure it out." 

       "That's-not-fair. You-know-that-I-can't-with-a-grounder-altmode!" 

       "FAIR?!  **FAIR** ?! WASPINATOR SAVED BLUR-BOT TWICE! HELPED BLUR-BOT WALK AGAIN! GAVE BLUR-BOT ENERGON AND NEVER ASKED FOR ANYTHING IN RETURN! Waspinator wanted to be good bot but clearly, Waspinator not cut out for it. Waspinator is done." He lost his temper and turned his back on the speedster. 

       "I-NEVER-ASKED-YOU-TO-SAVE-ME!" 

       "Maybe Waspinator shouldn't have." Once the words had left his vocalizer he instantly regretted them. No, he didn't mean that, but it was already too late. 

       Blurr turned away, practically too stunned for words as he felt his spark practically shatter though in all honesty it probably cracked. "No. Maybe you shouldn't have." He repeated softly, his optics catching sight of his cube form. Nothing else was said between either of them, the silence only being briefly broken by a flap of wings; barely audible over the now thundering rain and a gust of wind rustling the lighter objects in the room as the techno-organic promptly left. Downpour drummed against the quiet shelter and he collapsed to his knees, his back falling to rest against a damp wall. His helm fell into his servos as he clenched them into fists and pulled his legs closer to his frame, releasing a heavy sob. Hiding his faceplate in his knees, he let the tears run down his face as he heaved another broken whine. 

       He wanted to go home and the fact that he couldn't do so caused more fluid to pour out. He thought it'd been sorted out already but now he was stuck here. Despite the large space, he'd never felt more trapped in his life. That was saying a lot. Vents clamping shut in distress, he began to hyperventilate and curled in closer to himself, feeling exposed in spite of being completely alone. The skies continued to cry with him, ignorant to the true distress.

       Cybertron may be where he was created but when he truly thought about home, that wasn't where he had a sense of belonging. In all actuality, he'd never felt like he'd belonged anywhere, not even on this planet. But when talking with Waspinator, actually talking to him and having both of them understand each other. That's when Blurr felt like things were right, but now everything was out of balance. The techno-organic was gone and who knew how long it'd be before they'd see each other again? Could be days, weeks, months, or even never if a supply of Energon and a new lair were created. Then he truly would be trapped here forever, alone. And that terrified him more than anything else ever had. 

 


	14. Amends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They don't last more than a day as Waspinator put some thought into it once he's sick of sleeping outside and decides he'd rather see Blurr happy than have him stuck here miserable. Plus a little look into what Blackarachnia is up to!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Suicidal thoughts, a little gore at the end.
> 
>  
> 
> Brightside: Apologies. 
> 
>  
> 
> Honestly this is a pretty neutral chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> Beta-read by the always lovely EarlyMorningMassacre!

       The sky had turned an ashen black despite the fact that the rain had yet to let up for a day and a half now. It was most likely early morning but the downpour was quite literally coming down in sheets. Thin layers upon layers of water soaked through everything it came into contact with. Despite being soaked fifty times over, Waspinator did not move from his spot, even as a large leaf waterfalled the collected pool of liquid on top of his helm. Tears mixed with rain but neither refused to cease falling. He'd been unable to sleep and only curled himself into a ball with his back pressed against a tree. His instincts had prompted him to seek high ground, but he'd contemplated throwing himself into the flood bellow plenty of times throughout the hours. Being stuck in the same position for over a day had caused his joints to lock and cramp up, no doubt he'd start rusting in some areas if he didn't move soon. Still, he did not. Whether he rusted or starved to death was of little to no matter to him as he stared at the Space Bridge, mocking him from its high place in the sky. 

       His tanks clenched and he was reminded of his hunger but ignored it as he finally looked away from the space junk. Of course he screwed up, he knew full well that he did, but regardless of what he told himself he just couldn't bring himself to do something to fix this. It was his fault, he was being dishonest and broke a promise. Many had done the same to him, but that didn't really make it right. 

       Finally, he shifted and pulled his legs closer to his frame as his spark and processor waged a war. Desperately, his spark called to make amends, to fix this and bring the relationship back up. Then his mind came in and reminded him that doing so would result in Blurr leaving, even if he was forgiven. There was no guidance for him to look too, so he instead hid his helm in his lap, letting the frigid water rush over his frame as he in-vented deeply. Feeling conflicted was almost as bad as confrontation. Either way, he needed to decide soon, lack of proper shelter, recharge, and supplies meant he'd be dead sooner than later. As much as the 'so be it' mentality was tempting, deep down he knew he couldn't do it. Then the speedster would be truly trapped here forever, but that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted the other mech to stay, not be trapped.

       Well, the more he thought about it, he actually wanted Blurr to be happy. There was no way that this would make him happy because wasn't it just the same as being trapped? Being kept against his will by a mech he trusted. Even if that mech was no stranger to taking hostages, this goal would not be achieved with that approach. But what was the end goal? 

       Waspinator didn't really know, but what he did know is that the other mech deserved to be free and happy. Even if that wasn't here. Which meant he had to fix this and let Blurr go. Wasn't there some stupid Earth saying 'if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was'? A ridiculously long saying but one that certainly rang true in this situation.

       With a sluggish flap of his wings, Waspinator rose and took off in search of his cave. Time to put it to the test. 

       The weather made seeing a difficult task but after a while, he managed to find the cliff. True he had literally bumped into it, but that didn't get him down as he focused on the task at hand. Scaling the organic wall, he lifted his body onto the edge of the cliff and glanced at his destination ahead. Seeing it caused him to begin to lose his nerve, but he shook it off and proceeded regardless. The wind blew against his frame, weakening his footing, but still, he trudged on in determination.

       Despite the struggle, he found himself at the mouth of the cave before he knew it. A sheet of water cascaded down the entrance and he stared at his warped reflection before breaking it as he passed through. Familiarity and a small twinge of anxiety encompassed him as he stood in his home. Though he wasn't here for nostalgia and broke himself out of it as he looked around the large room. Seeking the smaller mech, he spotted Blurr huddled in a corner, seemingly fast in recharge while curled in on himself. It'd be rude to wake him. All the techno-organic could do was stand there, rooted to the spot with no idea what to do as those second thoughts began coming back. 

       "Go away," Blurr muttered tiredly, startling the other mech who had not been expecting him to be online. Glancing up from crossed arms, he glared at Waspinator who's vocalizer spit static as those piercing optics shot guilt right through his very spark. Anything he had to say, he just couldn't find the words to say, and clearly, the speedster was becoming impatient. "What-do-you-want?" Blurr snapped, his usual quick delivery returning as his sadness was replaced with anger. Still, the hybrid could not form words resulting in him responding with a 'tsk' sound in response and standing. "Fine,-I'll-leave-then." 

       Walking past the larger mech, a servo brushed his shoulder and Waspinator released a meek "Wait." The speedster stopped but did not look at him even as the silence dragged on with them, frozen in the unsure position. He didn't want to upset the smaller bot by maintaining contact but, he also wanted to be faced while apologizing. Slowly, and hesitantly, he took the upset mech's servo.

       Blurr tensed but didn't pull away, instead finally looking to see what the techno-organic was doing. Looking up, he was met with sad and sincere optics as his servo was brought up to the larger mech's chassis. His servo was pressed against the plating covering the hybrid's spark and he could feel it whirling in anxiety beneath his very digits. 

       "...Waspinator wants to...apologize to Blurr. Waspinator was wrong and selfish and treated Blurr terribly. Waspinator is very, very sorry and doesn't want to fight anymore. If Blurr doesn't forgive Waspinator it okay, but no more fight," Waspinator blinked away tears and let his helm hang in shame, but he wasn't done. "Waspinator doesn't regret helping Blurr and shouldn't have said that. Waspinator cares and doesn't want to hurt Blurr, not again." He shook his head, he really didn't want to, it made him feel horrible. 

       Blurr sighed, looking away again as he pulled his servo away. "...You-weren't-wrong." He mumbled quietly, refusing optic contact. "What-you-said-in-the-argument-was-correct. Even-if-your-stance-was-not-right. Though-I-do-understand-now, I-truly-do. I-empathize-with-your-situation-but-you-have-to-realize-my-own. I-have-to-go-home-regardless-of-whether-or-not-either-of-us-want-me-to. Thank-you-for-the-apology-but-it-still-doesn't-help-me-get-back." 

       Waspinator nodded sadly, he knew that. "Waspinator knows, so Waspinator will help Blurr. Really promise this time," The speedster's optics lit up and finally looked at him, but clearly, there was still some wariness. Offering his servo, he gave the mech a lopsided smile, "When does Blurr want to go?" 

       Hesitantly Blurr placed his servo in the offered one, taking a hold of it. "Now," He responded with little hesitation. Though before either of them made a move to leave, he continued. "But-I-want-you-to-come-with-me."

* * *

 

 

 

 

       It had taken  _ years _ to build and even now the setup wasn't ideal despite the fact she'd built her entire lab from scratch. Working power had only happened about a year ago, but it still sometimes flickered on and off. The storm outside certainly wasn't helping as her current source of light continued to gutter as she worked. Another unfortunate thing was the lack of choices in where she could build the lab, so storms like these often led to flooding due to the fact that the base was on ground level, etched into the side of a rock face. Currently, she was ankle deep in water, the only reason it wasn't deeper was that she'd at least set up somewhat of a makeshift blockade. 

       Wading over to a table, she looked over her specimens critically. Cyberforming the four creatures had been a success, now reversing the process was the tricky part. Taking in a deep in-vent, she carefully pulled one of the techno-organic creatures out of its enclosure. The metallic, pre-organic creature was long and limbless and it slithered between her digits. Managing to get the animal to finally settle, she took out a vial containing, hopefully, the 'cure' and applied the substance generously. Each vial contained a fluid that was specific to each species, and much to her delight the snake was successfully returned to its fleshy exterior. Writing the first one off as a success, she returned the animal to its tank, though she did not allow giddiness to take control as she pulled out the next creature. Anticipation grew as the previously furry mammal was covered in the reforming liquid. Unlike the snake, the transformation wasn't practically instantaneous but in fact took a lot longer than she'd have liked. Regardless, after half an hour it was a success as well.

       Finally, she was down to the last two specimens, though she was saving the best for last as she instead picked up the aquatic creature she'd captured. It had zero facial features so she was unsure of how to properly observe the reversing process but continued regardless. Again there were no visible signs of any changes for a lengthy period of time but gradually it began to return to its invertebrate state. Now, this was the true moment where her hard work would either pay off or flop. Carefully, she pulled out the arachnid and set it down on the surface before her. Another in-vent and she wasted no more time as she poured the liquid onto the large spider. She watched as it crawled around for a couple of seconds before convulsing and keeling over. Sighing in disappointment, she pushed the body aside, it was no doubt dead as its insides became its outsides, the center now an organic sizzling mess. 

       With her elbow on the table, she rested her servo against her fist as she eyed the disappointing test subject. Her free servo played around in the open jellyfish container, inadvertently entertaining herself by poking its gelatinous cap. A brainless creature, but was she really much different? Maybe she would have garnered more successful results if she were to focus purely on the arachnid family rather than just any old animal. Unlikely. 

       Looking around her lab in boredom, she contemplated what to do as her main project had failed. Really, she wasn't in much of a mood now to continue experimenting. At least this failure had been one of the least painful out of all her worthless endeavors. Though, Waspinator had been the most successful, now if only he'd let her reverse him; or at the very least let her experiment on the agent. Both would be amazing, but even less likely. No, instead she was stuck with the true inhabitants of this planet. Disappointing, but it was all she had to work with. For now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to be 1 of 3 important points so call this chapter a cliffhanger. It'll probably take me a while to write the next one so for now this'll be on hiatus for a bit. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLO7aLTL8RCBh2vtPNv7G4-u4HoDmfOa8r Enjoy this playlist I've compiled for this fic + Blurr and Wasp/Waspinator in general if you want. You can also check my Tumblr if you want, which I may draw and post scenes from this fic for fun once in a while.


	15. Cybertron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events on Cybertron it is decided that they will cut ties. Shockwave also gets punched in the not face. Abandoning Cybertron and confronting his attacker takes a huge tole on Blurr who needs comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this scene in my head forever, and am so happy it is done, but I am very sorry if no one else enjoys it.
> 
>  
> 
> Beta-read by the always lovely EarlyMorningMassacre!

    The swirling tie-dye vortex onlined and opened a portal to another world. Flying through was a shock to their systems as they went from a clear aqua sky to a polluted grey one. It was a startling contrast for Waspinator and Blurr, who had become used to their organic home. Forest turned to buildings, the sounds of nature now a roar of distant traffic, and clean air became smog that suddenly clogged their vents. It was like stepping into a whole new world, well they technically were. Even though things had more than certainly changed, there was still a hint of familiarity.

      The sight-seeing was cut short by a voice abruptly breaking the pair out of their trance. "Hey! You're using an unauthorized Space Bridge!" Cliffjumper pushed away from a console and ran towards them. Glaring at the two mechs despite being much shorter than both of them, he crossed his arms and continued. "Identify yourselves right now!"

      Neither of the newcomers said a thing, the techno-organic didn't know what to say, but Blurr was fighting down an angry rant. When he'd first been crushed into a cube, his senses still worked, though they had dimmed over time after the red mech before him had tossed him out into space. Thrown him away like he was just junk. It made his Energon boil and his fists clench because as if that wasn't bad enough, the Minibot didn't even  _ recognize _ him. Then again, there was no way Cliffjumper could have known, which ebbed the anger a little.  _ Just a little _ .

       At least it was enough for Blurr to respond properly. "I-am-the-Autobot-Elite-Guard-Agent-Blurr. I'm-surprised-you-didn't-realize-it's-me,-Cliffjumper-but-I-don't-doubt-it's-been-  _ awhile _ . "

      It took a moment to process what was said but soon the addressed bot's optics light up, "Agent Blurr! I apologize, it has been a long time." Though he quickly turned his attention to the hybrid and squinted suspiciously. "Who's this?"

      "This-is-my-uh-associate. He's-been-helping-me-with-my-mission." Blurr gestured vaguely at the largest mech of the three.

      "Hi." Waspinator waved slightly, trying to seem non-threatening despite his nervousness. The Minibot continued to look at him with clear distrust causing him to slowly draw back his wings slightly. It may have been a while, but he didn't doubt the Autobots still weren't too fond of fliers.

      "Mhmm." Cliffjumper continued to eye the techno-organic as he made his way back to the console. "Well, I assume you have a lengthy report so I will alert the council of your return."

      "No-that-really-isn't-necessary. We-have-very-urgent-news-and-we-can't-be-delayed. We're-already-heading-there."

      He blinked rapidly, "...But agent, you know there is a protocol."

      "Cliff-I-didn't-reach-the-rank-I-did-for-bragging-rights. I'm-asking-for- _ one _ -favour-after-all-my-years-of-service." Blurr pleaded, desperate to get going.

      The red bot sighed loudly before nodding hesitantly. "Alright, alright, fine. Just this  _ once _ ."

      "Thank-you-thank-you-thank-you. Keep-up-the-good-work." He expressed his gratitude in a flurry of words before just as quickly beginning to push the largest mech in the direction they'd be going.

      Waspinator released a meek 'bye' as he tried to keep up with the speedster's speed. He couldn't tell if the mech was anxious or excited, but he himself felt a knot beginning to form in his tanks. They were here, they were actually succeeding, and he wasn't being arrested on the spot. Good luck made him suspicious, because it never lasted long.

      Quite frankly, that wasn't the only thing bothering him. Thankfully they slowed down once they got closer to the city, which gave him a leisurely walking pace to think it out. The thing that was bothering him the most wasn't necessarily how easy it had been for him to get through, but how the smaller mech had managed it.

      From day one, he understood that Blurr wasn't just some civilian Cybertronian. He was intelligent, assertive, brave, and the clear authority he'd just displayed a few minutes ago really made his importance sink in. This was where he'd built his reputation, this was where he really mattered. Would he really stick around after all this if things went south? Would he really return to a small planet in the middle of nowhere with somebot so clearly beneath him? He didn't have to now that he had what he wanted, it was quite surprising that he hadn't dropped the techno-organic at the door. Though, at the same time, after months spent together and dealing with each other, deep down Waspinator knew the mech isn't like that.  

      "Okay-we're-here. I-understand-this-is-overwhelming-for-you-so-you-can-stay-here-and-I-will-return-shortly." Blurr cut off the other mech's down-spiraling train of thought. They stood in an alleyway right beside a large building. It was much bigger than either remembered it to be, but there was no doubt that it was a high-class place meant for important business.

The way he just walked right in there with little hesitation was surreal to the hybrid. Usually he'd have gone through proper protocol and wait to be summoned, but he had important business.

     There couldn't be any hesitation, so he entered the government building and went to the receptionist. It was an automated drone, meaning he now has to do things professionally. "Name?" It asked.

    "Blurr, Intelligence Officer Blurr." He had to keep in mind to slow down when talking, it only had a simple processor.

  "Error: Name is listed as offline." It replied, after checking the system for his name.

 All he could do was sigh, at least a real co-worker would be able to recognize him. Maybe. "I am very much online thank you."

   The drone scanned his badge for confirmation before it updated the status. "State your business."

    "I-am-here to see the council, I have urgent news-when-can-I-meet with them?"

    "The Council is currently in a meeting. You will have to wait 20 cycles." It informed him. "Please, take a seat." It gestured to one before temporarily shutting down until the next appointment, or bot, comes along. So, he sat down and waited his turn, his leg bouncing on the spot.

* * *

 

 

    Waspinator couldn't help but pace in the alley he was hidden in. The other mech was taking too long and he was getting exceedingly worried. Multiple worst case scenarios kept surfacing, no matter how much he tried to dismiss them. What was happening? Blurr was a fast talker, it really shouldn't take this long, right? He could be in trouble and there was nothing to be done. Even if there was something to do, maybe he didn't want to be saved or didn't need to be. Were things going right? Were they going wrong? Was either in Waspinator's favour? What if he was being abandoned? Or seconds away from being arrested again?

 Trying to suppress the growing anxiety, he walked faster, incredibly conflicted on whether to stay or run. He hadn't noticed how loud his nervous buzzing was until somebots walked past the alley. Quickly, he pressed himself flat against the wall, quieting both his systems and organic side. Once they left, he returned to his nervous back and forth pace. Comming the speedster was an option, but if things were going well he didn't want to interrupt. So, negotiating with himself, he decided to wait a few more cycles and then he'd try to contact the other bot before leaving. There was just too much stress in this situation and he was getting antsy to go home.

* * *

 

      Somebot finally walked out of the room, and the drone onlined to inform Blurr that the council could see him now. Thanking the drone, he quickly commed the techno-organic, hearing a sigh of relief as he explained what happened and was happening. Promising it would only take ten more cycles, he hung up and rushed in to meet the council.

      Ultra Magnus was startled by the sudden entrance. "Oh, Agent Blurr."

      "Ultra Magnus, sir, I-apologize for the-lack-of proper-protocol but I have urgent news-"

      "I'm sure you do. We assumed you went offline and removed you from the system. It is good to have one of our best agents back, once you are back into the system, you may relay this information to your new superior." The Magnus cut off the speedster.

      "But, sir! I did go offline! The-Decepticon-double-agent-attempted to snuff my spark-and-nearly-succeeded! I wouldn't be standing before you today without the help-from-a-kind-sparked mech, who I would also like to discuss about. I don't want to waste your time, but this is very important news! It-shouldn't-wait-for me to be put back into the system. It-has-only-been-a few orbital cycles-at-the-most-so I am confused as to why I-was-removed-but-I-will-respect the decision." There was so much new information to share, Blurr was having trouble slowing his speech as his words ran together. There was so much to bring up and his thoughts raced as he waited for the council members to process what was being said.

      "Agent Blurr, that is incorrect," Perceptor spoke up, irritatingly slow in speech but certainly the second fastest processor. "You have been offline for three stellar cycles."

      "What?"

      "Wait, wait, you said you were almost killed? Who helped you?" Sentinel furrowed his optic ridges before sneering. "Certainly wasn't any of my mechs."

      Blurr was still having trouble with the revelation that he'd been gone for three years. He just assumed it was a few months at the most, but years? No one had looked for him in years ? They just removed him from the system and called it a day. "Do you know who the double agent is?" Dropping the formalities, he had a few questions of his own that needed answering now.

      "Yes, Shockwave, formerly known as Longarm Prime." Ultra Magnus answered, either uncaring or oblivious to his seeming lack of empathy towards his inferior.

       "Your old Superior." Sentinel added in, condescending tone and suspicious squint adding to the hurt. "So, who is this 'saint'?"

      Once again deflecting the Primes question, the agent instead asked more. "Has he been apprehended? Does that mean you have dropped any false accusations?"

      "He is currently in the stockades, why are false accusations of importance to you, agent?" Alpha Trion asked.

      "It's Wasp isn't it, or Waspinator. Whatever he's going by." Sentinel replied before the speedster could.

      "Wasp? Is that true?" Ultra Magnus inquired, the entire council putting their full attention on the smallest mech in the room.

      "...Yes," Despite the red flags, Blurr relented. "He had no idea who I was, yet he saved my life. Despite my position, I have not been mistreated by someone who has been mistreated by the system I represent. If he has not been cleared as a double agent, I wish for him to be as I can tell you with the utmost certainty that he was never a traitor. Any problems there may be with integration, I will deal with, I will welcome him into my home if you will welcome him back into our society."

      "That's all well and good but you still have some adjusting to do yourself, a lot has changed here Blurr," Sentinel spoke first, before adding in his own opinion. "Besides, you've been gone for like a million stellar cycles. You've changed yourself. Not to mention, the last time I saw Wasp, he was attacking everyone in sight. Clearly he is still a dangerous threat, he shot at me multiple times! As a temporary Magnus at the time, that is a major offense."

      The agent couldn't keep down the glare and snappy tone. "If you treated him with even half the disrespect you have continuously shown towards me, I-don't-doubt-you-did-worse-to-him, I wouldn't blame him."

      Having enough off the quickly heating conversation, Ultra Magnus stood to gain attention before directing it towards the speedster. "Agent Blurr, do you know where Wasp currently is?"

      "What-will-you-do-if-I-say-yes?"

      "Probably throw him back into the stockade." The pompous Prime piped up again.

      Blurr's optics widened as a few members nodded in agreement, before he finally turned to look at the Magnus for confirmation.

      "As Sentinel stated, Wasp may still be a threat, especially if he chooses not to cooperate with our ways. I will let the council decide before making the decision." A hushed conversation began before voting was decided on.

      "Those in favour of arrest." Sentinel uttered, raising his servo along with a few others, the only exceptions being Magnus and Alpha Trion. "He's part organic now, as well." The Prime added, prompting the rest of the servos to raise, aside from Perceptor who lowered his in favour of possible scientific discoveries. No clarification had to be said though, apprehending was in the high majority.

      Blurr was horrified to say the least, as the only one against arresting only wanted to do experimentation. "You are choosing to put an innocent behind bars, once again, to preserve your own pride. You believe he wont-forgive-you, so instead-you lock him away! Is-this-the-Autobot-way?! Hide-away-your-mistakes-and-let-them-rust? So-you-don't-have-to-look-and-face-the-fact-that-you-have-done-wrong!? This-is-the-cause-I've-dedicated-my-entire-life-to? These-are-the-morals-I've-preached-and-practiced?" He was absolutely distraught, even more so at the revelation that he wasn't even surprised. The implications didn't even have to be spoken, it was clear as day that they didn't want anyone getting second thoughts about the council's decision making when considering the hybrid's story. The clear disgust towards the techno-organic factor only added insult to injury.

      "Agent Blurr," The tone was authoritative with a hint of warning. "It is your duty to bring him in. You will be offered a higher position for your cooperation and may choose your next mission."

      The aforementioned mech couldn't believe what he was hearing. "No!" There wasn't a single hint of hesitation, earning a confused chorus of his answer throughout the room. They were trying to bribe him with a new job and work?

      In that moment, despite the ups and downs, the miscommunication, the imperfections, he knew with certainty that he would not trade Wasp for anything. Ripping his Elite Guard badge off in one fluid motion, he threw it on the ground. "I-will-fight-for-this-no-longer! Erase-me-from-the-system-completely! Wasp-as-well. Because-you-are-never-hearing-from-us-again." All anxiety he had been feeling was washed away by a wave of anger. Turning his back on the council, the cause, and his past life, was still hard but he did not falter as he promptly walked out.

* * *

 

 

       Having had tired himself out from the pacing, Waspinator was sitting with his back pressed against the wall. He was still nervous, but now that he had a bit more insight on the situation, he was much more patient. Despite calming down, he was still startled as the mech he was waiting on abruptly stomped out of the building. Standing, he quickly but cautiously approached the clearly infuriated bot, meeting halfway. "Waspinator assumes it did not go well?" He asked despite having a pretty good idea. 

       Blurr only proceeded to cast the techno-organic a weary but slightly irritated look. "No. I-need-to-grab-my-things-and-then-we're-going-home." Sighing softly, he began walking and was thankful that despite being confused, the larger mech followed. 

       "Home?" Waspinator was more than confused, he was concerned. 'Home' could mean a number of things for either of them, something really bad must have happened in there if home had become singular. 

       The speedster faltered in his stride, aware of the need for clarification. "Back-to-the-planet. There-is-no-place-for-us-here." He began his fast-paced walk again.

       Panicked as realization dawned on him, Waspinator futility attempted to keep up enough to walk side by side. "No, no, no, no! Blurr has to go back! Cybertron is no place for Waspinator, but is Blurr's home!" 

       The aforementioned mech whirled around and finally stopped, nearly causing the other bot to crash into him. "Not-anymore. You-deserve-to-be-here-just-as-much-as-anyone-else!" He'd had his arms crossed, but uncrossed them to angrily throw them up in the air. A mistake as the hybrid saw his lack of symbol. 

       "Where is-! Oh no, this is all Waspinator's fault! Blurr has to go back!" Anybots around who didn't care enough to pay attention were definitely looking now as Waspinator freaked out. "Blurr worked so hard! Waspinator will fix this!" Though he was quickly stopped before he could even take a few steps back from where they came. 

       "No!" Grabbing the green mech's servos, Blurr wouldn't allow it. "I-didn't-get-it-taken-from-me! They-wanted-me-to-arrest-you-and-tried-to-bribe-me-with-a-higher-position. I-could-never-do-that-to-you, so-I-took-it-off! I-don't-want-to-be-part-of-a-system-that-will-imprison-innocent-bots-for-pride," Bringing the servos to his chassis, his frame began to tremble as he fought off the wave of emotion trying to flood him, as what he'd done tried to dawn on him. "It-isn't-your-fault. It's-mine-for-bringing-you-here-in the-first-place. If-only-I-had-known-better, I-could-have-saved-us-so-much-grief. We-wouldn't-have-had-that-fight and...Iwouldn'thavehadtoholdoffmyfeelingsf-...I just want to go back home and forget this ever happened." Releasing the other bot's servos, he sighed softly before turning to a machine. Typing in his personal code without another word, he accessed his subspace bank and retrieved any of his belongings that he'd left there.

       Unfortunately, he had no access to his old personal subspace, so there wasn't much personal stuff in there. There were a few Energon cubes and personal maintenance he transferred to his new subspace. "Okay, let's-go." 

       The other mech nodded, and since they didn't need much else, they decided not to overstay their welcome. They swiftly approached the Space Bridge, though despite having no plan, they confronted Cliffjumper who was quite hesitant to let them through. It was easy to see rank pulling and guilt-tripping would not be working this time, so they decided to use their size and number to escape. Though it was no easy task, they successfully made it through the portal, and back to their planet.

* * *

 

 

       Flying through the Space Bridge, they managed to make it through relatively unscathed. Despite this, there was no time to relax as they returned to solid ground. "We-have-to-destroy-the-bridge," Blurr stated as he looked up at the portal. Once it shut, he turned to the transformed wasp, who shot him a worried look. "I-don't-know-how-far-they-will-go-to-catch-us, but-I'm-not-taking-any-chances." 

       "Is Blurr sure?" Waspinator hesitantly asked. The logic was sound, but it was questionable whether the now ex-agent's mental stability could handle the blow of complete cutoff. 

       "Unless-you-would-like-to-be-arrested-again, yes-I'm-sure." Though, the speedster did pause, seemingly actually considering their course of action. "We-should-probably-inform-Blackarachnia-as-well. In-spite-of-her-unpleasantness, she-is-also-an-occupant-on-this-planet." 

       He squinted suspiciously at the name used but didn't comment. Instead, he transformed back into his beast-mode. "If Blurr is sure then, okay."

 

       With barely any time to take a break, they were off again, flying in silence, even as a tiny detail continued to gnaw at him. He didn't know how the other mech knew the femme's name, but at this point, he really couldn't bother to care. Bringing it up would only result in an argument, which was not something he was looking for right now. On another note, he really hoped Blackarachnia felt the same because she did not look impressed when she spotted the two mechs. The situation was quickly explained to her—mostly by Blurr—which took longer as she couldn't understand more than half of what was said. Finally once the excruciatingly slow process of repeating oneself was over, she only shrugged. 

       "Fine, but I want the pieces of the bridge." She said. 

       Waspinator was about to agree but Blurr cut him off, "Half." 

       "Half?" She laughed, "And what would you two idiots do with the rest? I'll be taking most of it, you can have whatever is left," However, she could easily see the speedster wasn't quite satisfied, though she wasn't sure why. "We can discuss trading in more detail once we no longer have the threat of being attacked hanging over our helms." 

       "Walk and talk?" Waspinator suggested. The other two bots accepted, with the three of them struggling to negotiate a deal. 

       After a lot of debating, bargaining, repeating, and trading, they finally managed to agree once they reached the bridge. Blackarachnia would get 60% of the machinery, the leftover protoform Waspinator wasn't going to use, and a small extra ration of Energon. The two mechs would get what was left of the bridge, two free favours from her, as well as supplies. 

       Satisfied, they finally got to work rewiring the gravitational device keeping the Space Bridge in orbit, allowing it to slowly and safely descend. As it lowered with them on it, Blurr finally seemed to fully register what they were doing. "Wait! I-have-something-I-have-to-do-first-before-we-break-down-the-bridge." The femme rolled her eyes at the holdup, but the other mech nodded and let him open the Space Bridge again. 

       "Just hurry up." Blackarachnia sighed exasperatedly. 

       "That's-what-I-do-best" He commented, before racing back through the portal, and right back onto Cybertron. 

       Surprisingly, Cliffjumper wasn't standing there with an army, instead, the area was void of any other mechanical life. Which meant he was most likely reporting what had happened, which also meant that Blurr would have to hurry, not that he wasn't already in a rush. If he was never to set foot here again, he had a few extra things he wanted to grab, mostly comfort items rather than actual necessities. A few recharge commodities, paint, Energon treats, and anything else that caught his interest without being overkill. Deeming everything he grabbed satisfactorily, he subspaced it all, and only had one thing left he wanted to do. 

       Checking his surroundings, he remembered the fastest path to his destination and broke out into a run. His speed before could have been a light jog compared to this, but he was determined not to get caught as he sped to the stockades. He made it there in record time, the sensors didn't even pick him up as he dashed right through. Weaving through the building, his luck seemed to finally peak. 

       Shockwave was being led back to his cell by some guards, but they didn't have any time to react as the blue blur rushed past them. Quite frankly, no one had time to react as the Decepticon suddenly doubled over in pain, having been kicked in the stomach as Blurr launched himself two feet at the larger mech. "That'sforCybertron!" Within seconds Shockwave was punched right in the throat, causing him to spit static. "That'sforcrushingme!" A punch straight to his lack of face had the mech on the ground. "And-that's-for-Wasp!" The attack had lasted less than a minute, and the guards had no hope of catching the assailant as Blurr zoomed out before he could be caught. 

       Once he got back to Cybertron's Space Bridge, he opened the portal and jumped through the vortex as he shot the console controlling it. So carelessly diving through could have been a mistake, but he was pleasantly surprised to land in grass. In-venting heavily, he tried to cool his energized and exhilarated frame. He felt empowered, and it probably showed from the ridiculously large smile on his face. That was a major rush and it took him a moment to calm down, even as two techno-organics stared down at him with their own respective inquisitive expressions. 

       Once his vents finally steadied enough for him to talk, he looked at them. "I-bought-us-more-time," He said, only being vague as he'd rather talk about it in more detail to the largest mech, later. "So, let's-break-down-this-Space-Bridge." 

       "Is Blurr okay?" Waspinator asked, concerned as he offered a servo to help the downed mech up, who nodded before accepting the offer. 

       "Oh, sure, you'll call your boyfriend by his name, but I'm stuck with 'spiderbot'." Blackarachnia rolled her optics as she leaned against the Space Bridge.  

       Waspinator finally took his attention away from the speedster. "Spiderbot prefer Waspinator say bitchbot?" 

       Releasing an offended scoff, she crossed her arms and turned her back to the pair. "Fine. I'll be doing actual work while you two loverbots stare longingly into each other's optics." Before returning to the task of disassembling the Space Bridge, prompting the two mechs to join in. 

 

       Once they finished trading and everybot was at least adequately content, Blurr and Waspinator headed back to the cave. After the exhausting emotional and physical labor of today, they both enjoyed refueling in silence. 

       "Is-there-anything-else-we-have-to-do-today?" Blurr suddenly asked. The techno-organic paused to think about it, but there didn't seem to be anything else pressing, so responded with a shake of the helm. "Good." He mumbled, before finally giving in to the anxiety he'd been suppressing this whole time to get things done. Causing him to practically collapse, the larger mech just barely able to catch him.  

       "Whoa, is Blurr okay?!" Waspinator attempted to get the other bot standing again. 

       "Everything-is-just..catching-up-with-me-now." The speedster responded, exhausted.

       "Blurr needs to relax, Waspinator has something that will help." He took the smaller mech's servo, leading them both out of the cave and to a new destination. Eventually though, with permission, he had to carry the other mech the rest of the way. 

       Blurr could see wisps of steam billowing up, before spotting a hot spring they were approaching. He almost wanted to be upset about bathing in that cold river up until now, but any reprimands died in his vocalizer as he was lowered into the warm water. "Thanks." He chose to say instead, as the hybrid sat down beside him. 

       Waspinator hummed in acknowledgment as he sank into the heated liquid, feeling his own tension lessen as his frame relaxed. They both calmed down and enjoyed the silence before it was briefly broken by Blurr who finally decided to go into greater detail about the events on Cybertron. Waspinator listened, but eventually, they lapsed back into silence. Neither of them had to worry about that anymore. 


	16. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that things are settled, there is something to be said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead, the story isn't dead! I'm just terrible at updating and life/school/work have all been kicking my butt! It may be a small update, but it is still an update beta read by the lovely EarlyMorningMassacre! Enjoy~

 

       Blurr slowly onlined, groggy and confused to find himself recharging in the nest. Holding off his stress and panic must have drained his systems more than he had realized. However, he especially didn't remember coming back to the cave, but he did appreciate the comfort of familiarity. So, he remained laying down and stared at the cavern's ceiling to think.

       It was hard to tell if he was calm or just feeling empty, as he was tired and had literally lost his purpose in life just yesterday. His entire future thrown away in a mere few hours. Now he didn't know where his life would lead. Okay, maybe he was just emotionally numb. 

       Still, as disappointing as that was, he couldn't really say he was saddened by that. With this new path came new opportunities. A way to start over. Turning slightly, he spotted the techno-organic peacefully in recharge beside him. Which led him to a new revelation. There was now nothing standing in his way of confessing his feelings for the larger mech. The only thing in his way was himself now, but he was still currently in the mindset of setting aside his inner turmoil to push on. Though he still had much to consider, so, he stretched before getting out of the nest. Having learned from last time, he left a note in the dirt this time about going for a walk and collecting Energon. 

 

       Walking was nice and helped to clear one's processor or at least help with thinking without stress. Which was something Blurr had definitely had enough of. He had had to suppress so many of his feelings, while not being able to bypass others. The few months he'd spent on this planet were a mess, a good mess, but one regardless. Now he had to clean it up and figure out some things. He still didn't want to dwell on yesterday's events, but there were still some fresh problems that shouldn't be ignored. Like the argument, despite being resolved, had still happened. 

       There was no longer a need to deny that he did certainly harbor feelings for the other mech. However, miscommunications, especially future ones, would be best avoided. Especially since they caused some massive problems. So, he had to decide how to properly and clearly indicate his new intentions. That being, to court Waspinator. 

       They still had their relationship dilemmas, as well as much more room for development in said current relationship. Not to mention there was the possibility of rejection, which would make things awkward, but currently, Blurr was taking action and leaving no room for regrets. So, even with the embarrassment that would come with repudiation, it would be best to know sooner rather than later. And honestly, his life had already taken an unexpected turn, so he no longer had any expectations. His clear path had been shaken and now he was without a plan for the future, giving him the freedom to make his own. If the other mech didn't reciprocate his feelings, he could deal with it. 

       Right now though, he had to focus on one step at a time. The first being how to go about conveying his intentions. Which would be signification easier due to his recent 'shopping' trip. He had brought back quite a few things, such as berth supplies which he could decorate the nest with, and although useless he had also taken some personal care items such as polish and wax. As well as he could make use of his current walk by collecting Energon, which was his original plan, but now he had more intent behind it. So, he collected as much as his arms and subspace could handle. 

 

       Heading back, Blurr felt accomplished with the amount he had gathered, which blocked his vision with the height of the pile. It made the task of getting back a tad difficult, but he managed to get to the cave and dispense the Energon crystals beside the converter. Accomplishment complete, he was now left to look around the room as he had two more things he wanted to do. 

       However, before he could get ahead of himself, his optics landed on writing right under his own. A note left for him stating the techno-organic's location, which piqued his interest. Prompting him to set aside his tasks to instead investigate what the mech was up to. Especially since the place he was heading too didn't hold any previous significance. Not that it was exceptionally difficult to find. 

       Only needing to walk for a short while, the sight had him stopping in his tracks. He had left for his own objective early in the morning, it was now late afternoon, which left him astounded as he took in the race track. It was basic with only flattened dirt rather than paved concrete or smooth metal, it was also fairly small compared to many he had raced on but still impressive in size given the circumstances, and no doubt it was made by servo. Its creator still working away and picking some rocks out of the path, the green bot still hard at work, stopping only after spotting the speedster.

       Waspinator stood up, brushing himself off as he approached the surprised mech. "Waspinator tried..." He looked at the rough race track sheepishly. "Blurr like it?" 

       "I-could-hug-you-right-now." Blurr was still shocked, but also incredibly touched—and mildly intimidated. There was no way anything he could come up with to court the hybrid would be as good as this. Still, the act made his spark flutter and an itch to show his appreciation to form. 

       Shrugging, Waspinator opened his arms, showing he would gladly accept one. Which he enthusiastically got, throwing him a bit off guard as the other mech practically tackled him in an embrace, now having his permission to do so. "Waspinator wanted to help Blurr feel more at home." He explained, hugging the smaller bot back. 

       "Thank you," Blurr tightened his hold before finally releasing and helping the larger bot up. "I-was-going-to-offer-you-a-buff-and-wax-but-I'm-not-sure-that-could-compare-to-this," The techno-organic waved his offer off, then actually considered the proposition before bursting out laughing. "What?"

       "Waspinator not have waxing for at least fifty-five stellar cycles!" Shaking his helm at the thought of a shiny frame, Waspinator snorted. "Blurr can't be serious." 

       "If-you-want-me-to-then-I-am." 

       Looking at his scratched up frame, he started laughing again, it really didn't help he'd been digging in the dirt all day. "Alright." He shrugged, willing to do it if the other mech was. "Waspinator just get washed up, meet Blurr back at cave." They both agreed before going their separate ways. 

 

       When Waspinator returned to his cave, he was surprised by the setup. Scattered all over the floor was an assortment of all different kinds of detailing, waxing, and self-care things. Way more than he'd ever seen in his life, let alone would be able to name. "Uh..."

       Blurr looked up from where he was sitting on the floor, seeming a bit sheepish. "Too-much?"

       "Maybe a little, magnet digits." The techno-organic replied, eyeing each (for the most part) stolen good. 

       "My-speed-certainly-would-have-aided-me-in-theft-if-I-had-decided-to-take-that-path-but-petty-theft-is-the-farthest-I-will-go. It's-not-like-I-could-return-all-these-items-even-if-I-wanted-to-anyways..." He rung his servos, embarrassment rising to his faceplate as he began to put a few things back in his subspace. 

       Waspinator continued to look at all of it, unsure of what to make of all this. "Is too much for Waspinator, doesn't deserve it." 

       Blurr paused, feeling less flustered and more sad over that, before quickly taking everything back out of his subspace. "You-deserve-to-feel-appreciated-and-so-much-more." The larger mech was clearly going to object, but he was having none of it. "Yes, you-do. Now-sit-down-and-relax." 

       Waspinator reluctantly complied, disagreements just barely slipping out as he sat down, unsure of what else to do other than as the speedster said. 

       "Let-me-take-care-of-you-for-once." Blurr continued, holding the techno-organic's servo, who blushed in response and mumbled out an 'okay'. Smiling, he squeezed the mech's servo, before getting to work by starting with sharpening the claws on the servo he was holding. "I-told-you-I-would-repay-you-and-I-think-that-promise-is-long-overdue." 

       "Blurr doesn't have to repay Waspinator..." The hybrid mumbled. 

       "Well, then, I-want-to." He affirmed, despite his speed, he was in no rush.

       Eventually, the other mech relented and relaxed under his touch as he gradually moved on to different areas. The silence was a little awkward, so they began a casual conversation, something surprisingly easier to carry now than it had been in the past. Which only reaffirmed his intent for all of this, but he built his courage and encouraged the techno-organic to unwind with his ministrations. Finally, he got to the other mech's back, asking permission before touching the wings adorning it. He was pleased by the relaxation under his touch and decided to take his chance.

       As their conversation drifted into an interlude, he broke the silence, "Waspinator, I-have-something-to-confess-that-I-have-been-holding-off-saying-for-too-long," Not a great start, telling from the sudden tension under his digits. "I-have-been-holding-off-saying-it-because-of-I-couldn't-find-a-good-time-with-all-the-drama-going-on-but-now-the-only-thing-in-my-way-is-myself. So, I-just-want-to-say-that-I-enjoy-your-company, your-friendship, and-I-really-like-you. I-was-hoping-we-could-be-more, but-if-you-don't-feel-thesameIcompletelyunderstandandwecangobacktobeingfriendsIt'sfine." 

       Waspinator couldn't believe his audio receptors, he also hadn't heard half of it. "What?"

       The speedster ex-vented, "I am in love with you." 


	17. Take It Slow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Courting Waspinator did not go as planned, leaving Blurr heart-broken due to a lack of communication. Finally they managed to figure things out, but the speedster needs to take it slow. Chatting into the night, they stargaze and clear up some miscommunication.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really any warnings? It’s just, idk, I’m aiming for a bit more wholesome stuff…..for a bit >:D
> 
> Thank you to the lovely EarlyMorningMassacre~!

 

       Blurr sat alone in the cave, covering his face as the realization of what he'd done and the current consequences of it weighed him down. As soon as his confession had registered, the other mech left without a word, seeming panicked and unlikely to be coming back anytime soon. What a mess. Maybe he should have said something earlier, maybe he should have waited longer, or maybe it would have been better if he didn't say anything in the first place. Regardless of what he should and shouldn't have done, now he had to deal with it. 

       He probably wasn't supposed to be here, maybe he was expected to be gone by the time the techno-organic came back? Where was he supposed to go? Should he start searching for his own place? Could he take refuge with Blackarachnia? She had offered them each a favour, not that he'd be too comfortable being her roommate with the still lingering threat of becoming an experiment himself. Then again, given his own fear of solitude, perhaps she would appreciate the company to some extent. He could always ask, but he could also wait for the other mech to get back and just apologize profusely and beg not to be kicked out. 

       Blurr sighed, standing up and pacing around a bit as he leaned more in favour of the latter. A simple 'yes or no' answer would have been so much simpler than this up in the air situation. Was he getting kicked out? Was the mech just going out for some contemplation time? Was this good? Bad? It certainly felt bad, but he just didn't know what to expect. So, he'd just stay here and expect nothing.

 

       It was about an hour before Waspinator came back, his secondary arms tucked close to his chest indicated he was guarded, but he also looked sheepish. "Sorry," He apologized, seeming unsure if he should elaborate. 

       "I-should-leave, shouldn't-I?" Blurr asked, already standing as he awaited being kicked out. 

       "Not unless Blurr wants to-"

       "I-don't! We-can-just-forget-what-I-said-if-that's-easier." He suggested, not wanting to go. 

       "No," Waspinator shook his helm before sitting in the nest and patting the spot beside him. "Waspinator isn't mad or going to kick out Blurr, just needed time to think," The speedster didn't say anything but sat beside him, so he continued. "Waspinator just in disbelief, no way Blurr means that. Waspinator isn't smart, mega cool but not attractive, not Blurr's type-" 

       "That's-the-stupidest-thing-I-have-ever-heard-you-say, _ anyone-say _ , and-I've-heard-some-pretty-dumb-things! You-are-resourceful, you-try-your-best, you-actually-care-about-me, and-I-think-all-that-makes-you-fragging-hot!" Blurr exclaimed, resting on his knees to reach eye level and make sure the larger mech knew he  _ meant it _ . "And-if-that-doesn't-make-you-my-type-I-have-got-some-pretty-skewed-preferences." 

       Waspinator was blushing fiercely, but he had a few more things he had to make sure of. "And Blurr isn't saying this because of what happened?" 

       A lot had happened, so the speedster had to take a moment to understand what was exactly being referred to. "I-felt-this-way-even-before-we-went-to-Cybertron. That-was-actually-why-I-didn't-say-anything-until-now. I-didn't-know-what-would-happen-and-I-thought-it-would-be-best-if-I-didn't-say-anything-until-after." 

       "...Fair point," He paused, "And Blurr means it, no tricks? Not pressured?" 

       "I-mean-it-with-all-of-my-spark-and-I'm-telling-you-because-I-want-you-to-know. So, no-I-don't feel-pressured-into-confessing." 

       "Okay," Nodding in acceptance, he continued, "Waspinator does like Blurr back, but has to take it slow."

       "I-can-do-slow-but-you-have-to-promise-to-communicate-with-me-when-I'm-doing-something-wrong." 

       "Agreed." 

       "Good-I-have-to-go-now. I'll-be-back-later."

       "Okay?" 

 

       It was Waspinator's turn to be left to his own thoughts, but at least he was able to keep himself busy. Tending to the plants and stacking their Energon cubes, he looked considerately at the Energon that the speedster had collected. The two of them really had gone far; he'd found the cube among Energon crystals, he'd had to collect some for the two of them when the mech was unable to move, now the two of them were working together and providing more than enough. Even the flowers he kept in the cave held significance to their relationship. It was so strange to think about, over three years basically alone on this planet and within a few months, this mech had changed so much for him. If anything, the months felt more like an eternity, which made him feel like a rusty cog for wanting to take things slow. 

       He'd been holding off his own feelings long enough, practically banishing them all together out of fear for rejection. Even still, he had so many fears, so many trust issues. So, maybe it was for the best if they built up to it, just like their friendship. It didn't help that negative thoughts continued to nag at him, because he knew first hand how devastating rejecting or being rejected by a faction could be. The ex-Autobot had been in it far longer than he had, making the seeming passiveness all the more suspicious but despite the intrusive thoughts, he wouldn't press, as he knew the mech well enough to know that he would be told when the speedster was ready to talk to him.

       At least he had managed to build up some trust in their time together, made even more apparent by the fact that before he knew it, nighttime had descended upon him. It wasn't until then that he began to worry as the speedster had not returned. Exiting the cave, he looked around the dark landscape, before being startled by his comm going off. 

       : Come to the cliff, I made something for us. :

       The comm was from Blurr, who was waiting at the cliff, with yet another setup, this one consisting of a more 'dinner date' vibe. He'd collected fireflies, which lit up his surroundings, along with a couple cubes of high-grade and a smaller one with additional honey. 

       "Where did Blurr get high-grade?" Waspinator asked hesitantly as he approached. 

       "I-didn't-steal-the-high-grade," The speedster quickly defended. "I-bought-it-a-long-time-ago. It-was-in-my-stash-so-I-took-it-with-me." 

       "Waspinator not going to tell on Blurr," Chuckling, he sat down beside the smaller mech. "Waspinator appreciates it actually, been a long time since Waspinator had engex." 

       "Only-buzz-you've-probably-gotten-is-from-your-own-systems." Blurr remarked, earning himself a look as the soft chittering and buzzing naturally coming from the techno-organic was quieted. 

       "Mean." The hybrid playfully glared. 

       "Sorry." He laughed in response, leaning against the larger frame and gently holding the other mech's hand. Unsure if he'd overstepped with the gesture, he looked to his partner, who squeezed his servo in response, unbothered. It was hard not to smile, so he didn't suppress it, releasing a content sigh as he grabbed one of the cubes. "Anyways, high-grade?" He offered it. 

       Waspinator took the engex with his other hand, not releasing the smaller mech's servo who passed him the honey before grabbing the last cube to enjoy. They drank in a pleasant silence, looking up to the stars and basking in the other's company and serene EM field. The atmosphere was calming, the drinks were nice, the scenery was fantastic. Regardless, he still couldn't quite relax, fighting the urge to do something. This had been set up for him, the love confession was towards him, it felt like he had done so little to show his affections. However, the speedster sighing instantly caught his attention. "Does Blurr need something?" He asked, the nagging to prove himself becoming more prominent. 

       "No," Blurr shook his helm, "Just thinking."

       "About?" The techno-organic pressed, turning to him. 

       "I..." He began, before glancing down and placing his free servo over his chassis where his emblem had been. "I'm-still-processing-somethings-but-I-don't-understand-how-you-can-stand-to-look-at-me-knowing-what-the-faction-I-belonged-to-did-to-you?" 

       Waspinator hummed, "Not hard to look at, Blurr is beautiful." 

       The smaller mech snickered, blushing, "Of-course, I-knew-that." 

       "Good, cause it true," Playfulness aside, he wanted to make sure the other bot knew he meant it before answering the question. "Wasp was Autobot, fugitive, Waspinator was Decepticon, now is neutral. Waspinator doesn't care about Blurr's faction, past or current. Waspinator hates cause, not Blurr. Blurr is so smart, mega cool, and  beautiful badass, Autobots suck." 

       Tapping the blank, grey plating, Blurr contemplated. "I-will-have-to-paint-over-this-spot-at-some-point. Yours-too-if-you-would-like." The larger mech agreed as they both looked to the sky again. "At-least-they-can't-get-us-now."

       "Yeah." 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> *Armpits= Oxter Joints 
> 
>  
> 
> Comments are appreciated.


End file.
